Darling
by Rowan and Sakura
Summary: Without hesitation, I believe in this love and live on. I'll embrace your open wound and together we'll keep on walking, because we can't go back. Even now, the inerasable sin hurts, but...Darling... onesided? Elricest, OCs COMPLETE
1. Mayowazu ni

Rowan started to write another Elricest story (is still, in fact) that was started at 11 one evening. Needless to say, it was not perfect. She wanted to write drama- what came out was a soap opera. So while **Definition of Sin** is purposely written like a bad novel, **Darling** will be it's polar opposite- hopefully drama at its best. At least, she'll try.

Disclaimer: Rowan turns on her computer, opens Paint. This is no manga artist, and certainly no Hiromu Arakawa. Thank you for your time.

AC (Author's Claim): The OC in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Kenneth Morgan is mine! mine! mine! No taking, because I thought of him first! So yay, something here is totally and completely mine!

Note: Okay, I've only seen up to about Episode 41, so naturally, I have no clue how the show ends- so DON'T spoil the show, okay? Thank you in advance, it is much appreciated. For my story's timeline, when Ed was 16 and Al 15, they managed to get Al's body back. Chapter titles taken from the ending theme song "Kesenai Tsumi" (you FMA fans should be familiar with that, ne?)

**Darling**

Chapter One- Mayowazu ni

A telephone call:

"Hey, Winry. Remember when you said you wanted no surprises from us?"

The girl sighed and placed her hand on her hip. The wrench sat impatiently in her clenched palm. "Yes, Edward, what is it?" She frowned. "Don't you dare tell me that your arm's broken again, or I'll-" The wrench shifted eagerly in her grip.

"No, nothing like that. Actually, I just wanted to let you know not to expect your cash cow- as Granny Pinako put it- to feed you guys anymore!"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Winry lifted the wrench up to her face, inspected the handle, rubbed it against her pants, then gripped the silver in her hand.

"I told you that one day I would no longer need you." A cocky laugh. Her hand twitched. The wrench so wanted to fly, it begged her, please, let me hit that head of hair, feel the grate against bone, please oh please oh please- "Yes, I could barely wait for that day to arrive, and now it's here. And I looked forward to never trekking out that far again, however-"

"Again, what the hell are you talking about?"

"-Alphonse was looking forward to eating some home cooked meal, so we're coming to Resembool. We'll be there in the morning, so keep an eye out for us. We might be harder to see than you think."

Winry gasped. "Wait. Al-? _Eat-?_ You mean-?" A chuckle from the other end, the wrench hitting the floor with a pleasant clang, and her right behind.

"Winry? Winry? Hello-o?"

_Two months later_

Edward glared behind his brother at the girl on the other side, sticking his tongue at her when she saw him watching. She grinned back. "You look excited, Edward," she said.

Al looked over his shoulder just in time to catch Ed's glare, which quickly disappeared when he saw his brother glance at him. "Hmph," he snorted, pulling in the lapels of his suit and tugging his tie. "How did I let you talk me into this?" he whined. The other two laughed.

"Oh, brother, you know Winry. She got the call while she was working, and when she invited us, a little wave of the wrench and you were begging to come along!" Al grinned down at Edward.

"Oh yeah," he grumbled. "Now I remember. But how'd she get me into this suit?"

Al laughed. "_I_ did that. You're a sucker for sad eyes, brother."

Ed glowered and crossed his arms across his chest. "Oh _yeah_," he muttered. "You two are a pair of evil, evil people. You should never have children-" a gasp and a sigh "-together."

Winry and Al glanced at each other and giggled. Winry blushed and Al quickly turned away from the girl. Ed looked over at them and rolled his eyes. "Idiots." They both smiled at that.

"So…who's getting married again?"

"Oh, _Edward_."

* * *

"Um, Alphonse Elric?" a young girl about fourteen years old, the bridegroom's niece from Central City, asked through her long curly eyelashes.

Al looked down into the shy, pretty face. "Yes?"

The girl blushed. "Would you like to dance?"

"R-really? Uh, sure!" He stood up quickly, a pleased look on his face, and led the girl towards the other swaying pairs in the middle of the conservatory where the reception was being held.

Edward sulked down at his plate as his brother abandoned him too. His eyes traveled from the cake crumbs on his plate to his gloved right hand resting near his fork. So he had lied to Winry, but only slightly. His leg was restored, but he could never get his arm back. That had been equally exchanged for Alphonse's soul, and unless he wanted to trade them back, he would be stuck forever with the automail arm. The leg came back with Al's body, once they sacrificed the same ingredients they had used four years before to bring back their mother. Of course, the second time they had the Philosopher's Stone and for once everything went smoothly.

Edward frowned at the limb. It was useful in his job as State Alchemist, that was for sure, and Ed had to admit, it was helpful having a transmutable arm in times of desperation, though the element of surprise had quickly dwindled over time. But sometimes Edward fervently wished that he could be normal, as much as Al now was. He resented the looks of dread, of horror, of misunderstanding. Why couldn't they leave him alone; hadn't he suffered enough for his sins?

Ed cursed under his breath. No, he didn't really care what other people thought. But sometimes it got lonely, being fullmetal.

Someone pulled out the chair next to Edward and sat down at the table beside him. Ed looked up and found Winry watching him intently. "Hello Ed," she breathed. Her face was flushed, her dance partner- different than the one who took her away in the first place- returning to his seat a few table away. "Why aren't you dancing?"

Ed smirked, shrugged, sat back in his seat and let his right arm dangle beside him. "I'm not much of a dancer," he said.

"You know, you can ask someone to dance. There are girls in here who would say yes."

"Maybe I'm not interested in them."

Winry sighed. "Are you interested in anyone, Edward?"

Ed smiled at the girl. "Not really."

"Oh."

Ed's eyes moved past Winry's shoulder to the dance floor, where Alphonse was dancing with an awkward grace, his face pink with embarrassment, the hue growing deeper each time he stepped on his partner's foot. Edward felt he heard their laughter, even from across the room.

Winry leaned forward in the seat, elbows indecorously leaning on the table as she twirled Al's fork around the cake left on his plate. Under her breath, she hummed along with the music, and Edward smiled when he heard that too. She was sharp, but Ed didn't mind. He knew Winry could care less too, and that made him smile.

"Say, Winry," he said, his eyes still seeing past her. "If neither of us get married by the time we're twenty, you want to marry me?"

The fork fell on the plate. Winry sat up. "What?"

"In four years, if you're not married, you want to marry me?" Edward turned his passive face to her, a question hanging on his eyebrows.

All she did was smile.

_Four years later_

Ed stepped off the train and looked around him. They weren't expecting him after all, because he hadn't called; sometimes surprises are nice. The sun was shining over the green spring grass swaying carelessly in the breeze. He smiled. A perfect day for a walk, and he could use the exercise after sitting down so long. Besides, he had walked further before. Ed walked down the stairs leading off the platform and began to follow the dirt path leading to Resembool, and perhaps, home.

When Ed approached the house, Den gamboled up to him and thrust his old head under Ed's right hand. Despite his age, he still knew Edward and wrestled his old body up to greet him. Ed patted Den on his head, then winced when he heard a shriek escape the house. The words were indistinguishable, but the voice unmistakable- Winry. Den's ears flattened against his skull and Ed heartily agreed with him.

Knocking cautiously on the front door with Den hiding behind his legs, Ed nervously prayed a smile and not a wrench would greet him. A puff of smoke from Pinako Rockbell's pipe was what he got when she answered the door, and a grunted hello. Winry's voice came from the back of the house, along with the sound of a couple dozen wrenches and who knew what else thrown about. Slowly, Ed entered the house. Den was nowhere to be found.

"I can't believe you broke it! My masterpiece! A state-of-the-art automail prosthetic and you throw it around like it's some cheap plastic model!" The speech was oddly familiar to Edward; he recalled many times when he smashed his arm around, though the time Scar smashed it to pieces was definitely the worst. "Well, where is it? Let's see if it's worth salvaging."

The sound of mumbling, then a scream and the satisfying sound of metal hitting bone. Ed reflexively rubbed the top of his head.

"You LOST IT! Do you know how much TIME it took to MAKE THAT? And you _LOST IT?_"

Well, Ed was satisfied. He never lost any of his limbs (and the one time he did, thankfully got it back.) So there was someone worse than him out there. It was comforting to know. Though Ed wasn't so sure about surprising Winry with his visit now. She didn't sound quite inviting.

Just at the moment, Winry opened the door and peered inside. "Granny, it looks like another all-nighter aga…" she trailed off as her eyes moved from Pinako to Edward. "Ed? What are you doing here?" She stepped into the room and engulfed him in a hug.

"Well, uh, just thought I'd stop by for a visit, since I was in the neighbor-" Ed started to say until Winry stood back suddenly and grabbed his right arm. She carefully examined the fingers, the joint, and each screw before dropping it and looking at Ed again.

"Just checking to make sure. I don't want two emergencies on my hands," she said with a smile.

"Speaking of, your emergency could use a spare leg for the time being," a young man said from the door way. He was clutching the door for support; he was missing the bottom half of his right leg, but other than that, he looked like a healthy young man. He had handsome brown hair that fell in his deep blue eyes, and a strong chin that gave him a princely air. And he was tall, Ed noticed with dislike.

Winry spun around and laughed at the young man. "I think you deserve to be punished for losing that leg of mine. Maybe I'll give you a pair of crutches until your new leg's made." The man laughed back, then hopped his way over to the girl- young woman, Ed corrected. She had grown and fit in the young man's arm, which Ed noticed when he leaned on Winry for support.

"You be my crutch then. See? You're the perfect size!" He grinned cheekily down at Winry, a gorgeous smile. Ed thought he heard angels singing and a ray of light shine down upon him.

Winry grinned back, then looked to Ed's scowl. "Oh, Ed, this is Kenneth Morgan. Kenny, this is Edward Elric. Ed and I grew up together."

Kenneth- Kenny, Ed noticed suspiciously- looked down with surprise at Ed. "Edward Elric? The Fullmetal Alchemist?" Ed nodded curtly. "Aren't you supposed to be taller?"

Ed could have killed someone then (and Kenneth seemed like the perfect candidate) but Winry intervened by pushing Kenneth back into the other room. "You just wait there while I grab you a spare." She turned to Ed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Edward, promise to get along with Kenny? It would mean the world to me." Her blue eyes pleaded so kindly that he could not refuse. Damn, he thought as he nodded, Kenneth would have made such a lovely corpse.

* * *

Dinner that evening commenced the glaring match between Ed and Kenneth, with both determined to win. When Winry asked for the potatoes, both blindly reached for the bowl, their eyes locked as their hands fished around the table. Kenneth's longer arms hit pay dirt and Ed's glare intensified when Ken shot him a cocky smirk. Next Pinako asked for the string beans, which sat in front of Edward. The alchemist pounced on the plate and rudely shoved it towards the older woman, his turn to smirk. Kenneth shrugged, because while Ed grabbed the beans, he had refilled Winry's water glass.

But Ed was not to be outdone. When Winry observed that the chicken was cold, he coolly clapped his hands together and touched the plate, reheating the meat with a blue flash. Kenneth's eyes widened and Ed nearly won, but the brilliant show of alchemy merely lowered Kenneth's fine eyebrows further down his forehead.

Winry tried the best she could to create harmony at the table, but finding suitable conversation that would involve both men proved difficult. In the end, she turned to the only thing she really thrilled discussing: automail prosthetics.

"You know, Edward, that I modeled Kenneth's leg after yours," she said. "Of course, I had to make modifications, seeing how yours was the left leg and Kenny's is the right, but both of you lost your leg right below the knee, so it was easy to do the conversion."

Ken smirked at Edward. "Ah, so that's why they call you Fullmetal. A runt like you with such a heavy name; makes sense now."

Ed glowered across the table. "Not that that's very original," he said in return. "You're not the first to say that."

"So, you've got an automail leg, huh? Bet mine cost more, seeing how it needs more material," said Ken.

Edward opened his mouth to retort, but a look from Winry stayed his tongue. Finally, he shrugged and said, "Actually, I'm the Rockbell's cash cow; I'm the reason why business is so good."

Pinako laughed from her end of the table. "You've got that right. Banged up his arm so much, we never had to worry about money!"

"A prosthetic arm too, huh?" Kenneth said. "What'd you do? Get into a fight with a lion for calling you crumbs?"

Edward was finding it extremely tempting to transmute Ken's chair into a death trap, but sometime during the conversation, Winry had grabbed his right hand and was squeezing it tightly. He would have called it endearing, except she kept her eyes on Kenneth the entire time. "Well what about you?" he asked, choosing to ignore Ken's question. "How'd you lose your leg?"

Winry turned her head to Ed, her eyes shining. "Oh, it's a very interesting story! Go ahead, Kenny, you tell it so well."

Kenneth sat up in his seat and smiled at Winry. "Well, if you insist." He cleared his throat. "I was hunting in the woods one day when, in a thicket, I came across a little girl. She had been crying, for she had gotten lost in the woods and could not find her parents. I lifted the girl up on my shoulders and assured her that we would find her parents again. The girl gripped my hair in her little hands and said, 'Mr. Ken, I have faith in you!'

"So we set out to find the girl's parents. But dusk soon fell and we had not found anyone, nor any way out of the forest. So we had to sleep in the middle of the woods.

"Sometime in the middle of the night, I heard a struggle that roused me from my sleep and just in time, for a band of thieves lived in those woods and were kidnapping the little girl! I stood to chase after them, but discovered that one of the rogues had placed a bear trap at my foot, and when I tried to run after them, my leg got caught in the teeth! However, I promised the girl that I would bring her back, so I pulled the trap up from the ground and ran after them." Ken turned to Edward, a condescending smirk on his face. "I had decided that keeping the trap in would at least stem the flow of blood from the wound," he added, as though Ed had asked. "Anyway, despite my near-fatal injury, I managed to keep behind the thieves all the way back to their hideout. And there, I waited until all the lights went out and I knew they were asleep. Then, grabbing a dead tree limb, I crept into the den, knocked each thief unconscious, and rescued the little girl.

"I knew we had to get out of the forest as fast as we could, before the thieves woke up, so I placed her on my back and ran through the woods back the way I had come. By the first light of dawn, the edge of the forest was in sight, but the teeth of that trap dug deeper and deeper into my leg muscles. Collapsing to the ground, I sent the little girl ahead and told her to bring back help. She was reluctant to leave me, but I convinced her that it was the only way to save us both. The girl kissed my cheek and promised to return with help, and then I watched her little legs hobble towards salvation.

"So there I lay, for hours and hours, the blood pouring freely from the gauges in my leg- I was still wise, though, and left the trap in my leg, or else I would have drowned in my blood before long. I lay on the forest floor for eternity, until the sun had reached its zenith in the sky and past, and I thought I should be forsaken and left to die there, soaking in my blood. But the girl had kept her word, and just as dusk was creeping in upon me, she came back, her parents and a pair of hunters with her. They carried me out of the wood, but when they moved my leg, now throbbing with pain, I fainted and remembered no more.

"It was days before I opened my eyes again, and immediately I knew something was wrong. When I sat up in bed- the hunters had a cabin up in those parts and were very kind to me the entire time I remained in their home- I realized what it was. Where my legs ought to have been, I saw only my left foot rising from under the covers. And that's when I realized I had been so badly wounded that my right leg had been amputated. It was painful to see only that one leg, but I was thankful to be alive, and I knew there were worse things that could happen to me.

"I remained in the cabin with the two hunters for a month, just recuperating. But I thought my life, as I once knew it, was over. How could I live, without my leg? I admit, that first month was the moment of my deepest despair. But I moved on, and after that month was over and I had accustomed myself to moving around with crutches, I started to travel around the country, searching for some place to stay, but everywhere I went, no one would take me in, give me a job.

"That is, until I came to Resembool. It was an accident, actually! On the train, I met this major who told me about a mechanic who made automail prosthetics. It was a dream come true, to believe that I could have a leg again- walk again. I never knew that anything like that was possible. So I got off at Resembool, and with only a name to guide me, made my way to the Rockbells." Kenneth glanced over at Winry, a tender smile on his face. "They saved my life, this pair of amazing women."

"Hmm, and he's been staying here ever since, too!" Pinako muttered affectionately around her pipe. "Freeloader."

Ed leaned back in his chair, unimpressed with the young man's story. Though one aspect did interest him- "That major you met on the train. His name wouldn't happen to have been Armstrong, would it?"

Kenneth turned to Ed. "Yeah, that was him. Big hulking fellow; kept bragging about old Armstrong traditions and the like. Weird, but he did tell me about this place, so I'm grateful to him."

Ed nodded. "What a small world," he said.

"You know him?"

"Yeah," Ed smirked, leaning his head on the heel of his hand. "Escorted me out here once, when I needed some maintenance done. So, actually, you owe me for ever hearing of the Rockbells. The only reason Major Armstrong knows about them is because of me."

Kenneth narrowed his eyes at Ed. "That so? Well I say I would have heard of them anyway. Who needs you, with the reputation they've got?"

"Where do you think they got it from, huh? Everyone else's too chicken to get automail like mine; I'm the reason they're known! No one would have heard of them if it weren't for me!" They were starting to shout by this time, both rising from their seats.

"Oh, this is enough!" cried Winry, jumping from her chair and slamming her fists down on the table. "Will you both stop acting like children? Who cares where Granny and I got a reputation from. What matters is that you both heard of us and got fixed. That's all that matters. Now can we all just settle down?"

Ed and Kenneth glanced up at Winry, eyes wide and mouths hanging open, then they nodded their heads quickly. "Yes ma'am," they said in unison, then turned to glare at each other. Winry sighed.

* * *

The next few days Ed spent visiting his acquaintances and old friends in Resembool. Winry and Pinako were busy working on Kenneth's leg and Ed hated the guy too much to even think of spending his day with him. Besides, there were people that Ed had promised to see the next time he was in town. Den accompanied him on each trip.

Well, to be truthful, Edward did not really hate Kenneth, only the way Winry's eyes watched him, and the way he smiled at her every time they passed glances. He hated how Winry called him "Kenny," and the way her face lit up each time Kenneth stepped into the room. It wasn't exactly jealously; no, not that, even though Edward had come to Resembool for one thing only…no, it wasn't jealousy. He just didn't want to see Winry get hurt.

Besides, Kenneth reminded Ed too much of someone he once knew, someone who was of great irritation and nuisance to him. Ed didn't hate that guy either, but some memories were less pleasant than others. Especially the height thing. Edward prayed that Kenneth was older than him.

But not too old.

On the third night, while Pinako instructed Kenneth in his new automail leg- don't break it, be gentle on it, don't break it, polish it well to keep it in condition, don't break it, don't be rash with it, and oh, don't. break. it.- Edward pulled Winry into his guest room and shut the door behind him.

"Winry, it's been four years," he said to her questioning face.

She nodded. "I know, Edward. I take it, then, that you're here to fulfill your promise?"

Edward sat down on the bed and pulled Winry down next to him. "Look. You of all the people I know- I will ever know- understand me best. You understand me, and you accept me the way I am. You know my deepest secrets and my darkest sins. If I ever could marry anyone, Winry, she would have to accept those sins as a part of me, and love me despite them. If I could ever find someone who could- but the only person I know like that is you. That's why, if you'll have me, I'll marry you, Winry. I don't think I could care about anyone more."

Ed picked up Winry's hand in his metal palm and squeezed it lightly. "But that's not to say I'll love you the way you ought to be loved. You're my sister, Winry, if not by blood than in spirit. I can guarantee that I will always love you, but as a person loves their other half, their soul mate- I'm not sure I can promise that, Winry. So, I release you from your promise, if that's what you desire."

Winry gently wrapped her arm around Edward's smaller frame, pulling him close. "Thank you, Edward. I love you too, Ed, but I don't think I could ever marry you." She pulled back and smiled sadly. "I knew the moment I saw you in the kitchen why you were here, and I nearly hoped you had broken your arm again, because I understand automail so much more. It's more concrete, and I didn't want to break your heart, Ed. I don't think I could have done that, if you hadn't spoken first." There were tears in her eyes, something that made Ed's heart beat fast with fear. What if she started to cry again? Would she say she was doing it for him, because she thought he ought to cry for his lost love?

But Winry did not cry. Instead, she smiled and kissed Ed on the cheek. "Anyway, I can't marry you now. Kenny just asked me to marry him." She held up her hand, a small gold band encircling her ring finger.

"Does he love you?" asked Ed.

She nodded. "Yes, he does. And I love him, even more than automail, more than anything in the world!" Ed shook his head at her shining face. It wasn't necessary to say- he could see it in her face, hear it in the tremors of her voice, feel the love like heat radiate from their smiles. Still, he couldn't help but worry; the question came as pure instinct. After all, Winry deserved the best.

"Yeah, I suspected as much. Anyway, I'm glad you've met someone, Winry. And for what it's worth, I suppose I approve." Winry frowned, earning a rare laugh from Ed. "C'mon, you don't actually expect me to be happy, do you? He's a stranger, and he's been wooing my sister! Besides, you were always supposed to choose Alphonse," he said.

Winry laughed back. It was an old argument between the two brothers, who would marry Winry. She never knew who won, but she knew she could never choose between them. Apparently, so had Edward. "Both of you are like brothers to me. I could never choose one over the other. Besides, why Alphonse?"

Ed turned away, but Winry spied the betrayal of a smile at the corner of his lips. That little upturn of his mouth looked so sad. "Because then you really would be my sister. And I wouldn't have to worry any more…"

"Edward?"

Ed stood up suddenly and walked towards the door. He placed his hand on the knob, then turned around. "I think we should celebrate your engagement! Dinner's on me tonight!"

Winry leapt up from the bed and laughed. "But only if you drink your milk!"

"_Winry_!" She giggled and threw her arms around his neck.

"You know I'm joking, silly. C'mon, let's go!"

* * *

The next morning, while the others were eating, Ed emerged from his room, suitcase in his hand, fully packed. Winry stood up, forgetting her cereal. "Edward? You're leaving already?"

Ed nodded. "Duty calls. I have to report into Central tomorrow, so I figured I'd get in today so I could get settled. Sorry I'm leaving on such short notice, but I got the call just last night."

Winry hugged Ed tightly, tears in her eyes. "You come back soon, okay Edward? We don't see enough of you." Ed gripped her shoulder tightly and gave her a grave smile. Then he walked through the kitchen door and was gone.

Winry sat back down and stared at her cereal blankly. Slowly, laughter bubbled up her throat and she quietly start to shake. Pinako glanced at her granddaughter, eyebrows up in skepticism. "What's the matter?"

Winry, still laughing, said, "I get it now. Ed didn't come here to marry me; he came to check up on me. And once he saw Kenny, he understood everything would be alright. Ed was just waiting for an opportunity to talk to me; he never planned to marry me." Pinako shook her head and Kenneth shrugged.

Winry stood up from the table and picked up the telephone. "I'm going to do something nice for Edward now."

* * *

Nobody knew that the Fullmetal Alchemist was coming into Central that day, so Ed didn't expect to see any familiar faces at the train station, and if he did, just by coincidence (though he did pray not to see Mustang.) But as Edward stepped off the train that afternoon, in all that bustle he saw the one face that made his heart stop.

Chapter One- Without hesitation

Friday the 13th! Sorry, that was random. I actually shall be updating this story on Tuesdays, not Fridays, hopefully weekly (depending on my laptop and it working), but next Tuesday, I'll be away, so actually, you'll have to wait for Chapter until the 24th. Please review if you liked this chapter! It's nice and long and juicy (erm, well, maybe not) so I hope to get nice, long (preferably not juicy- I like soda better) reviews too!


	2. Kono ai wo

Disclaimer: Rowan is tired and can think of no clever way to say this. So: Rowan does not own FMA. She did not write it, she did not create it.

AC (Author's Claim): The OC in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Julie Halcrow is my invention! Yay, something here is totally and completely mine!

Darling

Chapter Two- Kono ai wo

"Edward! Brother! Welcome home!" Alphonse called, his brown head lifting up to see above the multitude around him. Ed felt his veins turn cold and the blood, like tears, run out of his face. Not this, he prayed. No, he was imagining things. No way Al knew he was coming. Just. No. Way.

But a moment later, Alphonse was standing in front of Edward, panting heavily. His face was pink from pushing through the people crowding the station platform. There was once a time when Al never had to worry about finding a way through a crowd; this was better. He grinned up at Edward. "Welcome home, Ed," he repeated, still a little breathless.

Al bent down, his hands clutching his knees as he caught his breath. Ed blinked at his brother, then turned away. So he wasn't imagining things. Edward turned back to his brother. "Al, how'd you know I'd be here?"

Al grinned up at his brother. "Winry called me. I wasn't doing anything this afternoon, so I decided to meet you here."

"Th-that's nice of you, Al. I would have thought you too busy, which is why I didn't call…"

"Too busy to see my brother again?" Al cried and at the same moment took Ed's suitcase from him. "Don't be ridiculous, Ed. I'm never too busy for that! And anyway, you're staying with me this trip, not like last time." Al began to lead their way toward the station lobby. He frowned at Ed behind him. "You remember that, don't you?"

Ed nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

Al glanced ahead, then looked back to his brother, a scowl on his face. "You weren't planning on staying in the barracks again, were you?" Ed turned his eyes away in reply. Al sighed. "Honestly, Ed, I don't get you. Why would you pay that much money for a house you've never lived in?"

Ed shrugged. "It wasn't for me, really," he admitted, his voice low with embarrassment. "I meant it for you to live in, so you can have some stability in your life and won't have to travel anymore." He looked at Al and grinned. "You always hated those inns."

Al laughed. "Well, I am thankful for it, brother. It's nice to have some place to call home again." A shadow fell across his face for a moment, but then passed. "I can't wait for you to see what I've done with it, brother." Al grabbed Ed's hand with his free one. "Come on, Ed, I hired a taxi and they charge by the hour, so let's go!" Alphonse pulled Ed through the crowd and out towards the street, a bright smile on his face. Ed reluctantly allowed Al to pull him along, all the while cursing Winry in his head.

He swore he could feel Al's fingers burning through his white glove to his metal hand.

* * *

The house was on the outskirts of Central, in a neighborhood so far from the military base that one would wonder why the FullMetal Alchemist bought it. Certainly not for its convenient location, though a perfect excuse for Ed to stay in the barracks with Fury, Breda, and Farman when he was in Central at all, which was not often to begin with. The proud face of Alphonse, however, explained everything, and with a cursory glance at the cheerful garden planted out front, the bright yellow siding, and the homey picket fence lining the street, it looked like a place to call home. Perhaps that was why Ed rarely ever found himself there.

The taxi puttered to the curbside and stuttered to a stop. Alphonse thrust a handful of coins into the driver's hand, then hopped out of the vehicle and ran up to the doorstep. Edward followed at a more reserved pace, his gloved hands clenching the handle of his suitcase as he gazed up at the small house. He swallowed, uncertainty in his eyes, as he joined Alphonse at the door.

"Close your eyes, Ed," Al instructed. Ed obeyed with a reluctant sigh, and he heard the key in the lock click and then the door swinging open. Al took Ed's hand- Ed tried to shrink away from his brother's grasp, then remembered where he was and let Al pull him into the house. "Okay, open your eyes," Al said quietly.

Ed opened his eyes to see a large room lined with bookshelves. Ed glanced at Al, puzzled. "What-"

Alphonse blushed. "Okay, it's not much, but what I really wanted to show you was this," he said, directing Edward over to a shelf in the corner of the room. Here, most of the books' bindings looked relatively new, though one or two appeared to be at least seven or eight years old. The remarkable thing was the absence of dust lining the books or the wood; it was obvious that these were Al's favorite books, though none of the bindings gave a clue as to why that was. Ed, curious, pulled a red-bound book off the shelf, the pages' edges lined with gold filagree. Flipping open to a random page, which he noticed was dog-eared in the corner, he was surprised to see a picture of himself. Reading the caption beneath the photo, he discovered that it was right after he had become a state alchemist.

Ed glanced at Alphonse. "What are these books about?" he asked.

Al smiled. "Do you like it? Most of them are about the Philosopher's Stone, though some are just general alchemical texts. The thing they all have in common is that, at some point or other, they reference you as a leading alchemist of our time."

Ed looked at the shelf again. There had to be a good forty or so there, and he was in all of them! "Al, I didn't even know I could be in a book," he said. "And you've found this many with me in them?" He closed the book in his hand and placed it gently back in its place, then stood back to admire all the dark bindings. "Al, that's incredible."

Al nodded. "Thought you'd like it."

Ed shook his head in wonder. "Amazing. Al, why'd you do this?" Al shrugged sheepishly.

"Oh, just in case you happened to drop by. I was sort of saving it for your birthday last year, but..." Ed looked down at his feet in shame. "Well, you're here now and that's what matters. Anyway, let's get you settled." Al picked up the suitcase sitting in the hall. "Let me show you to your room."

Ed stepped forward. "Oh, um, Al? I won't be staying long, maybe only tonight. I have a lot of work to do in Central and I'll probably need to stay near the base. Um, so I won't be getting very settled, since it's only one night."

Al's face fell. "Oh, uh, okay Edward. I understand."

"You don't mind, do you?" Ed wished he could take back his words, but the thought of staying alone in the same house as Al terrified him more than his brother taking offense.

Al shook his head vigorously. "No, I-I don't mind. I mean, I understand where we are isn't very convenient for you, but...and that's what I don't get. It's like you bought this house just so you wouldn't have to live here."

"Well, I..." Ed turned his eyes out the window towards the peaceful street. "I wanted to take you away from the military. You've followed me around for four years, following their orders; I wanted to remove you from that now."

Al walked towards the door, the suitcase still in his hand. Then he looked back and sighed. "Well, I wish you could too. Then we could both call this place home." He walked out of the room, and after a moment, Ed followed him.

* * *

Dinner was just the two of them, with little conversation passing between them. Ed could tell that Alphonse was still sore that he was leaving in the morning. Al's pouting face across the table did little to help Ed's disposition; he hated to see his brother upset, especially when he was the cause.

At the same time, those lips were so alluring stuck out like that. Like an open invitation. It didn't help.

Edward stabbed the steak a little too roughly with his fork. His hand crushed the metal handle, twisting it in a fist-shaped design. He released the utensil and laughed, uneasy. "Oops. Sorry Al, I think I broke it."

Al glanced up coldly. "Amazing, brother," he said with dispassion. "You should do all of them like that, that way they'll all match. You're quite the artist."

"Hah, yeah, maybe I'll do that. Don't know where I'll find the time to do that, but..." Ed tried to laugh again, but, failing, trailed off into silence. He grabbed the fork again and coaxed it out of his dinner, placing it on the table with a loud clank. "Or maybe I'll toss it. Looks ugly anyway."

"I don't care what you do with it. It's your fork."

Ed stood and picked up the fork, then stomped over to the trash can, tossing the twisted metal in the bag. Then he turned on Al. "Look, Al, I'm sorry I can't stay. You know I'd rather be here with you than with the military, but that's my job. It's the price I have to pay, and you'll just have to live with that." Al glanced at his brother from the corner of his eye. "Now, I'm supposed to have my examination in a few months, and if I fail, they won't renew my license."

"So, what are you planning to do?" Al asked grudgingly.

"I don't know. But Al, all I would need is the word from you and I'll fail it on purpose. If you want me to, I'll give up my title as State Alchemist. No more research grants, no more traveling around, no more damn reports for Mustang. Just ask, and I'll do it."

Al looked up at Edward, his eyes wide, puzzled. "But I...I couldn't ask you to throw your examination. I know how much alchemy means to you."

Ed leaned over Alphonse, his automail arm holding the back of his chair, his flesh one resting on the table. "Then you understand why I have to stay. I don't like being a dog of the military, but I'll sacrifice that freedom if I can continue my alchemical research. There's so much out there still to know, and I can't know what that is without the backing of the military's purse." Ed's eyes were intense; Al felt himself shift back in his seat because of his penetrating gaze. "But I promise, Al, that one day I won't need the military's money; I've already saved up a lot for that time. And when that time comes, I promise I'll never leave you, okay?"

Al grinned. "Yeah, I understand Edward." He nodded. "But that's a promise, don't you forget!"

"Hey," Ed said, stepping back. "I keep my promises!"

"Not to Winry you don't," Al pointed out. How many times had they promised to write Winry, and then grew too busy to remember?

"Well," Ed said, sobering, "I keep my promises to you, don't I?" His golden eyes pierced Al's eyes with a deep gaze. Al nodded slowly.

"Uh huh."

Ed looked away suddenly, then walked back over to his seat, picking up his spoon and transmuting it into a new fork. This time, when he stabbed the steak, the metal did not bend.

"Ed, I have plenty of forks," Al said, reaching behind him to grab one.

Ed looked up, a large bite of steak on its way to his mouth. "That's okay Al, this one works fine. I changed the composition of the metal so it would withstand the pressure."

Al shook his head and smiled. "You're just lazy, brother."

* * *

That night, Edward tossed and turned in bed, sleep as unattainable as Alphonse's heart. How long had it been since Ed last saw his brother? he wondered, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. And now, after so many months, it was torture to know that Al was only on the other side of the wall, lost in dreams. Ed wished for a moment that those dreams were about him, though he knew it was a foolish thing to wish for.

Eventually, Ed fell asleep, just as the sun began to color the sky. But the dreams that haunted him as his eyes sealed shut were no better than his waking thoughts, his deep-rooted contempt for himself, and the even more penetrating longing that took unrestrained form in his slumbering mind.

This particular night, the dream dwelt painfully on Alphonse- Al as a suit of armor, and particularly the moment that the armor was lost and _Alphonse_ was there, all flesh and bone and blood and…

There was a tremendous flash of blue light, more than Ed had ever seen, more than he had ever produced in a transmutation. It was…blinding, all he could think about was that blue flashing in front of him. It scared him; what if this was wrong, what if something had gone wrong? But as bright as the blue was, it was just as fleeting, and soon Edward could see what lay in the middle of the room- Alphonse, his brother, more beautiful and more alive than his imagination ever pictured. He was lying on the floor, face up, and as Edward rushed toward him, seemed as though he was merely resting, as though he had been sleeping for a very long time.

Like that story their mother read to them so many years ago, of the sleeping princess who slept for a hundred years, waiting to be awoken by love's first kiss. Ed remembered those bed time stories, how he pretended to be the prince, the knight in shining armor, would climb up to the castle tower to rescue the princess, whom Al was always forced to play. But this wasn't play anymore; this was real life and, just for a moment, Edward felt like that magnificent prince.

That thought was fleeting too, only to be replaced by the absurd, yet equally tempting thought- would Al wake up if he kissed him? It was a ridiculous idea, but the first completely conscious manifestation of the lurking desire that had hid in Ed's heart for years, unnamed, unnoticed, but finally, with Al so accessible before him, so clear. But as the thought jumped into his head, Edward pulled away from Al, who really was quite vulnerable, lying there before him, lacking any sort of garment that might have protected him from Ed's wandering eyes. And wander they did, even while Ed was screaming inside, telling himself that this wasn't right, that this wasn't proper, and dammit, it wasn't _fair_. Yet his eyes crept further and further down, until Edward, too filled with self-loathing and disgust, flung himself to the other side of the room.

Minutes passed, Edward's back turned to Al. When nothing happened, the room silent and eerie, when Al didn't come over and _kill_ him for what just happened, Ed turned back around. Alphonse remained as still as ever, as though sleeping, and the thought came creeping back into Edward's mind. What if…what if he _did_ kiss him? Would Al wake up? It was worth a try, Edward thought, and he moved across the room again, leaning in close to Al.

He…really is beautiful, Edward thought, staring down at his brother's face. It was not hard to imagine kissing him, so Edward only hesitated for a second before closing the distance between them, his lips falling perfectly into place against Al's.

"I…I think I _love_ you, Al," he whispered against Al's mouth, then let his lips linger for a second more.

Sitting up, he smiled at the peaceful face. "No, I _know_ I do."

* * *

Mustang was smirking down at him again. Ed ignored it by now, he'd learned how to, and that took the power away from his superior officer. Secretly it still angered him, but Ed was more mature now and knew how to handle his rage. Besides, it was routine now. Where would Ed be if Mustang didn't smirk at him, as usual?

"Well, FullMetal, I understand you were going to Resembool for your bride. I don't see a ring on your finger. Too embarrassed?" Roy asked as he filed Ed's report.

Ed scowled. "I don't know where that rumor came from. Actually, I went back to Resembool to give Winry my consent to marry someone else. She's just my mechanic, not my girlfriend, _Colonel_."

Roy shook his head. "When are you going to settle down, Edward?" he asked. "It's not good that you don't even have a girlfriend, you know. There are rumors, Ed-"

"Yeah, what kind of rumors?" Ed snapped, irritated. "Besides, why's it any of your concern? Since when are you interested in my love life?" Ed had not slept well last night, tossing and turning with fleeting dreams of Al…

"As your commanding officer, Edward, it is my business." Ed raised a questioning eyebrow at that and Roy smiled. "Okay, well, as your friend then. As a concerned friend, Edward."

"Well, as my friend, tell me. What rumors?" Ed ground out.

Roy turned his head to glance out the window. "…I'm not going to lie, what I've heard isn't good. I don't know of any specific rumor, but in general, the rumors about you are…"

"_Just tell me,_" Ed said, eyes so narrowed the gold barely showed from the dark creases.

Roy looked down at his desk, then up at Ed, then away again. "Well, uh, the rumors are that you're, ah, a eunuch."

Ed relaxed into his seat. So they didn't even suspect that he could…well, that was a relief. Still, he'd want to know what all those rumors were. What if someone had learned the truth? "Is that the bulk of them, or are there others?"

Roy looked up suddenly. "Huh? Uh, most rumors don't come to me, at least not in their virgin forms-"

"I bet that's one too, isn't it, Colonel?"

"What?"

"They also think I'm still a virgin, don't they?" Ed said with a grim smile.

Roy turned his head to his desk, embarrassed. "That's actually more of a bet."

"And what's your pick?"

"…30."

Ed nodded slowly. "And how do you expect to find out who's right?"

Roy smirked. "…We have our ways." He tried not to laugh.

Ed's eyes narrowed again. "I _see_," he said.

* * *

"Alphonse?" Ed peered into the house, calling timidly. That morning, when he left, Alphonse had pressed the spare key into his hand. _"Come home, anytime you need to get away"_ he said. And after Edward carefully searched his dormitory and found the four cameras and multiple microphones placed throughout, he decided he needed to get away. It was an invasion of his privacy, first, and second…Ed suspected he talked in his sleep.

The house was dark, however, and Edward frowned. Placing his suitcase in the front hall, he carefully searched the house for his brother. But Al wasn't there, and with no note- after all, he didn't expect to see Edward for months, unless by chance- Ed was at a loss. Once he discovered that Al was definitely not home, though, Edward ventured back into the library. Curious, he approached the shelf dedicated to him and pulled a book off the shelf.

This time, he chose a dark blue binding as it reminded him of Al. He flipped to the first dog-eared page and read the text. There were no pictures on this page, just straight text.  
_  
__The FullMetal Alchemist, so named for his automail arm and leg, for which he is nearly more famous than for the discovery of the Philosopher's Stone, was born Edward Elric on February 3rd, 1899 in Resembool. He was the first son of Hohenhiem and Trisha Elric, who died when Elric was eight. His younger brother, Alphonse Elric, was born a year later (for Elric family photo, see page 81.)_

_Elric began his career as an alchemist at a young age. His father, Hohenhiem, was already well-versed in the science, and though he left when Elric was no more than four (the exact year is not precisely known), the children both managed to read and understand the basics of alchemy by the time they were five. Elric was the more proficient of the two, though Alphonse was never far behind._

_Soon after their mother died, the children found themselves a teacher, and for the next three years of their lives lived in Dublith. When Elric was eleven, he returned to Resembool with his brother. Presumably, they had completed their training._

_The circumstances are not quite known, but it is understood that somewhere during this time Elric lost his right arm and left leg. Also around this time, Alphonse took to wearing a large suit of armor, presumably for protection, though the exact reason is unknown (for picture of Alphonse's armor, see page 103.) Elric underwent a painful operation, the grafting of automail parts, after which he and his brother traveled to Central to take the State Alchemist exam. At age twelve, Elric became the youngest person to join the military's service._

_"Be thou for the people" is the motto that Elric made into his philosophy. His unconventional ways soon made him famous throughout the country. Some especially notable cases that Elric worked on were-_

"Excuse me, but would you happen to be Edward Elric?" a soft voice asked suddenly from behind Ed. He turned around hurriedly, closing the book and hiding it behind his back.

A young woman stood in front of him. She had long auburn hair that curled at her slender shoulders. Her lips were thin and red, her eyes bright green. She wore a simple dress suit, the coat a heavenly yellow, and in her hands was a matching purse, which she clutched to her side.

"Yeah, I'm Edward Elric. Um…who are you?" Ed asked, confused.

The girl smiled. "My name is Julie Halcrow. Alphonse has told me so much about you, Mr. Elric."

"You know Alphonse?" he asked, a lump of foreboding in his throat.

The girl, Julie, nodded. "Yes. Has he not mentioned me?"

Ed shook his head. "No, can't say he has. What are you doing here?"

The girl lowered her eyes sadly. "Oh, I was so sure he would mention me." She glanced up into Ed's eyes, her eyes so deep with innocence. "Alphonse and I have a date tonight." Ed froze, his fingers grew sweaty, and he nearly dropped the book in his hand. His mouth moved, speechless, for a moment, until his voice returned from its trip to hell. "...a date? H-How long have you been dating Al?"

The girl smiled shyly and brought a delicate hand to her face. "Um, about six months now."

He could not look at her anymore for fear his eyes would fall out of his head and roll toward the tips of her feminine heels. Quickly, he turned around and shelved the book, his finger unconsciously stroking the spine before he dropped his hand. "...to think my brother forgot to tell me he had a girlfriend!" he exclaimed, voice uncommonly high-pitched. Ed turned back to Julie and smiled awkwardly. "S-so, um, do you love him?"

Julie blinked. "Excuse me?" she asked softly, her eyes widening.

Ed blushed and looked at the ground in embarrassment. Damn, why was he so obvious about it? "Um, I asked if you love Al. Do you?"

She blushed, her delicate hands clutching her pink cheeks as though they were threatening to fall off. "Oh, well, I am not sure. I have only known him for half a year. I do like him a lot, he is very nice to me, but...I am not sure if this is love." Her blush spread to her forehead and neck. "I mean, I would be delighted if I could fall deeply in love with Alphonse, and I am attracted to him." She laughed. "Oh, I am speaking nonsense. I am not sure of my feelings, to be honest. However, Mr. Elric, I assure you that I would never hurt your brother intentionally."

Ed began to walk around the room, a scowl on his face. Damn. Damn Alphonse for not telling him. At least he could have been prepared to hate the girl, but now that he'd seen her...

He hated her more than he wanted.

The epitome of femininity, beauty, grace, and charm. Nothing like him at all, but a girl, small, sweet, innocent...Ed frowned. Oh, he was foolish. What was he doing, even hoping? Hoping that...well of course Al was going to date, why shouldn't he? But couldn't she have been a little been more plain, a little more course, not this well-bred mare? Ed could have taken it if she were more like Winry, if it had been Winry herself...well, that would have been perfect. They could all be one happy family. But this girl, this girl he could never get along with. She was too...perfect.

"Mr. Elric?" the girl asked, watching him pace around the room. "How long do you plan on staying in Central?" Ed's head snapped up, a confused, challenging look on his face.

"Why?" he asked sharply.

"Oh!" She clasped her hands together. "It is just, I would love to get to know you better. You are, after all, the elder brother of Alphonse. I just feel that we should become great friends."

Ed gaped at her. Friends? With her? Why would she want that? Unless, perhaps, she had lied to him before. Maybe she was in love with Al...what if they were engaged? Ed searched her hand desperately, but no ring graced any of those tapered fingers. No, that wasn't it. Did she plan on sticking around?

Ed looked away from the girl. "Um..." He shook his head. "Look I-" He glanced over his shoulder. "I'm really tired, so I think I'll be turning in. It was nice to meet you, Miss Halcrow." Ed pushed past her as he entered the hall, his hand brush against her chest in an innocent gesture. "Oh!" Ed snickered in his head. That probably ruffled her feathers, he thought with wicked pleasure.

Ed returned to the front hall to retrieve his suitcase when the door opened and in walked Al. Ed, bent over his bag, glanced up through his bangs, his eyes meeting his brother's, wide with happy surprise. Ed stood and turned quickly to venture back into the house when Al's voice stopped him.

"Brother!" Al rushed forward and laid his hand on Ed's soft shoulder. "I didn't expect you back so soon!" He grinned into Ed's face.

Ed moved away from Al, his face beginning to glow. "Oh, yeah, well...you know, they hadn't gotten my dormitory ready. They forgot to get a mattress for the bed. But it should be there within the week, so I'm sure that I'll be returning there shortly."

Al's face fell. "Oh, I understand." But he tried to brighten, grinning again, though his eyes looked dull. "Well, I'm glad you'll be staying a few more days, at least. Anyway, make yourself at home." Al grabbed Ed's suitcase, forgotten in the hall. "Let me put this in your room." Al hurried down the hall in front of Ed, who followed behind slowly. As they walked past the open door of the library, Al stopped suddenly and Ed ran into him.

"Julie!" Al cried, smiling brightly as he entered the room. The girl, who had taken a seat on the edge of one of the arm chairs in the room, stood up when she saw him, her eyes shining brightly.

"Alphonse, so good to see you," she said, walking up to him and kissing him on the cheek. Ed choked on his air.

Al turned to Edward. "Brother, I didn't know you met Julie! That's wonderful!"

Julie laid one of her tiny hands on Al's arm. "Alphonse, I think we ought to be properly introduced, as we do not really know each other."

"Oh, right. Edward, this is Julie Halcrow. Julie is my girlfriend. Julie, this is my brother Edward, the FullMetal Alchemist!" Al smiled from one to the other. Julie nodded her head politely at Edward, while he tried not to scowl.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Edward," Julie said with a curtsy.

"Pleasure's all yo-er, mine," Ed grunted out.

An awkward silence passed over, dispelled by Al's enthusiastic "Hey!" He turned his attention to Julie. "I know tonight we had a date, but is it okay if Ed comes too? So we can catch up, and you two can get to know each other."

Julie nodded. "That is such a good idea, Alphonse. I would be delighted to get to know your brother better." She turned her gaze to Ed. "Will you join us for dinner, Edward?"

Ed saw the excited look on Al's face and nodded reluctantly. "Sure, why not?" he said. But his insides screamed that his brain had been turned off and someone please turn the switch back on!

Given the choice to dine with Al's girlfriend or drink milk for the rest of his life, Ed would have taken the milk.

* * *

The dinner was nearly finished and already Ed had resisted the urge to grab his steak knife and murder her. Julie Halcrow. That beast who could not keep her hands off his brother! Well, okay, it wasn't that bad to the public eye, but to Edward's jealousy-infected innards, any time her hand brushed his, any time she laid her eyes on him, any time she smiled at him and he smiled back...they could have been making love in front of Edward and it would have been the same exact thing in his eyes. And it wasn't so much her as it was Alphonse. How dare he hold her hand, kiss her on the cheek, laugh at her jokes in front of him? Didn't he know, didn't he realize, how he was killing Edward with each little gesture?

But of course he did not know. Thank God. So Ed died in silence.

And then a lull in the conversation, Al pushed his plate away from him, and slid his arm around Julie's little waist.

Did they not see his corpse, rotting on the floor? Did they not realize that they had murdered him? Were they that blind?

But they were. To everything save each other.

Edward coughed, and they turned to him, surprised eyes. "Um, Miss Halcrow, I've been wondering. Are you any relation to General Halcrow?"

Julie nodded, her vibrant hair moving up and down like a funny fire dance. "You know my uncle?" she asked.

"Er, can't say that I do, though Al and I did save him and his family from a group of terrorists."

Al's eyes grew wide. "Oh yes! I remember that. We were on our way to Central to take the State Alchemist exam when the train we were on was hijacked. Brother took out the two guys in our car, just because they called him small!"

"Hey!" Ed barked. "I'm still sensitive about that, you know."

"Oh, but Ed, you shouldn't be. You'll never get a girl if you get so uptight about your height. Girls don't like that."

"Yeah, I bet you know a lot about that, don't you, Alphonse?" Ed said before he could stop himself.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Al asked, puzzled. "Are you sore because I didn't tell you about Julie before? Because if that's the case, I'm sorry. It just never came up."

Ed looked away. "Oh, never mind. I forgive you."

"Hn. I don't," Julie said, a sparkle in her eye. "How could you never mention me to your brother, Alphonse? Aren't I important enough to mention?"

Al blushed in shame. "I'm sorry Julie. It's not that, I just never thought Ed would be interested in that."

"Alphonse, he's your brother. Of course he's interested."

"Oh." Al looked down at his mat.

Julie turned his face back up to hers. "Well, I'll forgive you, if you give me a kiss."

"Okay," Al said, smiling again, then took Julie's face in his hands and led her gently to meet his lips. Edward turned quickly away, feeling very much like he had turned that steak knife on himself. It wasn't a bad idea, at the moment. But then the moment ended when they separated. Neither seemed capable of breathing. Edward seethed inside.

Luckily, the waiter came by and cleared away the plates, taking that steak knife with him. They were safe; Ed was safe...for now.

"Can I bring you some dessert?" the waiter asked. And how fitting, Ed thought. Alphonse ordered the angel cake, Julie had the peach parfait.

Edward got the devil's food cake.

Chapter Two- I believe in this love

First, why does Ed seem to eat nothing but steak? Well, the first night it was in honor of Hiromu Arakawa (those who buy the manga know what I mean.) And it seemed appropriate to stab the steak with the fork and actually break it. The second time was for the steak knife. A butter knife just does not sound threatening.

So, before I ask you to review (and I do), who out there hates Julie? Don't be shy; let me see those hands! Until next time- Rowan


	3. Shinji ikiteyuku

Disclaimer: Rowan is tired and can think of no clever way to say this. So: Rowan does not own FMA. She did not write it, she did not create it.

AC (Author's Claim): The OCs in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Julie Hakuro, Caleb Wells, Rosette, and the Julie-clone are my characters! Yay, some things here are totally and completely mine!

Note: Okay, I've only seen up to about Episode 41, so naturally, I have no clue how the show ends- so DON'T spoil the show, okay? Thank you in advance, it is much appreciated. For my story's timeline, when Ed was 16 and Al 15, they managed to get Al's body back. Chapter titles taken from the ending theme song "Kesenai Tsumi" (you FMA fans should be familiar with that, ne?)

**Darling**

Chapter Three- Shinji ikiteyuku

"I'm back!" Edward loudly declared as he entered the office. "So, Sheska, what d'you have for me this time?"

Mountains of paper surrounded the woman, who, when she tried to see Ed, could not see over the stacks far enough down to see the young man. "Edward?" she asked.

Ed walked around to the side of the desk. "Who else?" he said with a grin. "How's it going?" He nodded at the paper in front of her.

Sheska slumped over her desk. "Soo slow," she moaned. "I hate fires."

Ed approached the paper on her desk and began to look through them. "Did you finish all this in the past week?" he asked. She nodded heavily. "Wow." Ed grinned. "You truly are incredible, Sheska."

Edward had been in Central for three weeks now. Sometime during that first week, a part of the main Central Library had caught fire. Luckily, the fire did not spread throughout the building, though the library lost a wall and a shelf (or ten) of books before the fire was quelled. It was in a section of the library open to the public, so nothing of too much significance was lost. However, the military decided to take some precautions in the future (this being the second fire within the past ten years) and ordered all rare books to be copied and put in a fire-proof vault, in case of emergencies (Edward was the one who suggested this. He still remembered the panic he felt when he realized Dr. Marcoh's research notes were consumed by a fire years before. It was only luck that let him read it.) It was a tedious task, but Sheska, who loved books, was very eager to help. Sheska was given a stack of books and research notes to read- the books were so rare that they were not allowed out of the library- and then she had to copy the books out and give them to Colonel Mustang, who was overseeing the project. Sheska eagerly devoured the books, but the writing them out was much harder and took up a lot of time. She managed to copy them in three days if she worked fast, but most usually took five or six days.

This week was easier, as the books she had copied were mostly text (many of the books contained illustrations of arrays and such, and those took longer to copy out) and she had, in fact, managed to complete three books in one week. Edward shook his head in amazement as he lifted the manuscripts up in his arms.

Oh, yes, Edward was Mustang's errand boy. Edward called himself the official transporter of rare documents; Roy came up with the errand boy title. Needless to say (but I will anyway) Edward did not like that. But he made the most of it. At least it was something to do besides stay at Al's all day.

Three weeks, and Edward was still living in Alphonse's home. He knew it was wrong, and his heart hurt every time he saw them kiss, or hold hands, or even smile, but something like morbid curiosity compelled him to stay. Like if he could find it, some way to break them apart. But all he saw was their attraction grow.

Maybe he was a masochist. Maybe he felt closer to what he could never have, watching them share the kisses he so desired, watching the sparks he wished he felt. Watching them fall in love, imagining it was him and not Julie staring into Al's eyes, haunting him, taunting him, loving him.

Maybe he needed a life.

"Edward?" Sheska said.

Ed glanced up. "Huh?" He had zoned out again.

"Um, how are things?" she asked.

Ed grinned. "Oh, just fine. Why do you ask?"

"Oh!" Her eyes grew wide. "N-no reason! You looked a little out of it just now, so I thought there might be something wrong."

Ed shook his head and tried to wave away her anxiety. "Oh, no, I was just thinking over some research I'm doing right now. That's all."

Sheska nodded. "Oh, okay. Well, see you next week Edward?"

"Yeah. Don't work your hand off!" Ed dropped the books in a crate. "See you, Sheska."

* * *

That night at dinner, Alphonse finally asked Edward the question he had dreaded to ever hear.

"Brother, when will you get yourself a girlfriend?"

Ed nearly choked on his spaghetti. "Ex-excuse me?" he gasped once he swallowed the pasta.

Al smiled at him. "I'm worried about you, brother. You don't date, and you've never shown any interest in a girl. Do you want to have a girlfriend?"

Ed shrugged. "Not really," he said honestly. "I've been too busy." It was true; girls never interested him, not even Winry, though he always wished something would happen there.

Actually, Edward had once thought he loved Winry, back when Alphonse was still a suit of armor. But they were both hot-headed, and one day would end up killing each other. The reason Edward felt what he thought was love for her was because of what she represented to him. Innocence. Naivety. And a time when Alphonse had a body, when he was a whole. She reminded him of the past, when he was happiest. But like their house, she would be going back for him. So it could never be. _Don't forget 3.Oct.11_. In a sense, loving Winry would be a form of forgetting.

However, the real reason Ed had no time for girls was he was too busy pining for his brother. Well, time is time, and Ed's was spent on Al. That was just the way things were.

"Too busy?" Julie giggled. "Who could be too busy for love?" She looked towards Al, as though to tell him something.

Al, however, did not seem to understand that look; at the very least, Julie was not happy with his interpretation. "Julie's right, Edward! I mean, look at Colonel Mustang! He has plenty of time to date dozens of women and at the same time, he is an excellent officer."

Ed frowned. "He's only that good because he has Hawkeye to make sure he finishes his work. And if you look at her, she's never had time for a boyfriend. And unlike Mustang, Al, I am not a womanizer."

Alphonse sighed. "Sometimes I wish you were more like him, brother. I worry that you'll end up alone, brother." He smiled sweetly at Ed. "I want you to find love, brother, someone who will appreciate you and take care of you. I can't take care of you forever, Ed."

"Oh, I get it," Ed said, placing his fork down and staring across the table at his brother. "You want to get rid of me, Alphonse? I apologize for being such a burden to you. If you want me to leave, just tell me."

Al shook his hands anxiously. "Oh, no brother! That's not what I mean at all. I mean in the future, if I get married. I mean, you wouldn't want to live in the same house as me then, would you?"

Ed felt his heart tearing inside his chest. Marriage. He had often thought of Alphonse getting married, and every time he did, his heart could barely stand it. The idea that Al would share his bed with someone for the rest of his life, or that he would have children with that woman...Ed imagined a house filled with children, Al's children, the children Edward would never be able to give. To anyone, much less Al. Because once Al settled down, if he were still single, then Ed knew he would never marry. If he did, it would be out of spite, and any children made from that union would be envy's children, and not Edward's own. The mother and her young would live inside an icebox, for Ed would love his nephews and nieces better than them, for they would be a part of Al, and he would always love Al. But his children would be a part of him, and Ed would hate himself for hating them.

"Alphonse, why are you so interested now?" Ed asked to change the subject.

"Oh!" Al cried, a smile spreading across his face. "Today in the mail there was a letter from Winry, announcing her engagement to..." Al pulled the letter out of his pocket. "...to Kenneth Morgan." Al looked up at Al. "Did you know about it?"

Ed nodded. "Yes, I was staying with them when Kenneth proposed."

"Brother, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Uh, it slipped my mind." Ed shoved a mouthful of spaghetti into his mouth to discourage the conversation.

"Oh." Al contemplated the letter for a moment, then passed it over to Julie. "Winry Rockbell is an old childhood friend of ours, as well as Edward's mechanic," he explained. "Edward, Winry's getting married, I have a steady relationship; you are the only one left."

Ed blinked at Alphonse, his eyes innocent enough to be believable. "And how do you plan to remedy that?" he asked, expecting no answer, but more that Al would quit.

It was not Al who replied. "Perhaps we should set Edward on a date, Alphonse. Since you want to see your brother date, that seems the logical explanation. And you know your brother well enough to know what kind of girl he would like."

Al turned to Julie's smug smile just as Ed turned his horrified eyes to her. "That's a brilliant idea, Julie!" Al said, just as Ed's stomach sank. Sometimes, but sometimes, his mouth said some pretty stupid things.

* * *

The first girl was shy, sweet, polite, and had brown hair. That was all Ed could differentiate between her and Julie. He still called her Julie in his head. What her real name was he never recalled. Julie's suggestion, no doubt.

The second girl was better: she was blonde, liked to work on cars (so, an automobile mechanic.) Al's choice, her name was Rosette. But she carried jumper cables in her back pockets, and Ed feared she would use them if ever provoked. She was scarier than Winry, and that was saying a lot.

After that, they began to blur together until Ed did not even bother to remember their names for more than five minutes. Al ruled the whole project a failure, declaring Edward hopeless, and bemoaning the fate of his doomed-forever bachelor brother. Julie insisted they not give up on Ed yet, though Ed saw through her forced concern. She must have felt that Al was concentrating too much on his brother and not on her, and if Ed got a girlfriend, then Al would return his attentions to her. Julie suggested a double date, that way she and Al could ensure that Edward got along with his date. Al agreed, and so Ed reluctantly joined them for dinner that evening to meet their final attempt to force him into a relationship.

To Edward's surprise, his date turned out to be Sheska. The bookwormish girl no longer wore a turtleneck, but instead a dark red v-neck shirt that looked surprising on her. She wore a little make up, and while Ed would never say she was pretty, at least she was normal. At least she might understand his awkward behavior. At least she would understand him.

Alphonse glanced at Ed when they first entered the restaurant and caught sight of Sheska. Expecting a look of delight, all he saw was Ed's initial surprise, and then, indifference. But maybe Edward was just hiding his feelings.

The evening started off rather one-sided, with Al and Julie talking quite loud to encourage conversation between the other two, even if it was an agreement that Al and Julie should just shut up. But neither seemed willing to talk. Sheska stared down at her mat, while Ed watched Al out of the corner of his eye.

At one point, while waiting for dinner to come, Julie stood and announced that she was going to the ladies' room. Al stood a moment after saying he was going too. And while Edward puzzled over Al's statement- now, did he mean he was going to the bathroom, or the ladies' room too- Sheska cleared her throat and said, "Hello, Edward."

Ed glanced up. "Um, hello Sheska," he replied, feeling silly.

She laughed nervously. "I did not expect to see you this evening."

"Neither did I," Ed admitted. Sheska smiled, but only warily.

"This is really awkward to admit, Ed, but..." Her eyes flickered up to meet Ed's, then fell down to her lap again. "Well, Edward, I don't really think of you this way."

"What, you mean romantically?" She nodded.

"Yes. I'm sorry, but you are my friend, and if I'm not attracted to you yet, I never will be." She scrunched her napkin in her hands. "Knowing that, do you want to continue this...date?"

Ed grinned and grabbed her right hand in his left. "You don't know how glad I am that you said that, because, truthfully Sheska, I don't think of you that way either."

Sheska glanced up, her eyes full of relief. "Really?" she said. "Thank god. So what about this date?"

Ed shrugged. "Oh, let's just humor Al and Julie for the rest of the evening. They think I'm a hopeless case and this is their last ditch effort to find me a girlfriend." Ed laughed at the expression on her face. "Besides, we have to eat, don't we?"

Sheska nodded again and Edward released her hand. Just then, Al and Julie returned to their seats, Julie's red hair mussed up and Al's face flushed pink. Ed tried to notice, but their lips were gently bruised, and Julie had to subtly adjust her skirt as she sat down.

"By the way," Ed said to distract himself. "Sheska, what are you working on now?"

Sheska, who also noticed the rather disheveled state the pair returned in, turned back to Ed. "Huh? Oh, what am I working on?" She smiled. "A very interesting log of...women!"

"Huh?"

Sheska bobbed her head up and down exuberantly. "Yes! Well, it seems they are so afraid of fire, they want every State Alchemist to create a copy of their research notes. Colonel Mustang was so busy he asked me to copy his for him. It's rather long too, about four hundred pages long, in about four or five journals cumulatively."

Edward smirked. "Hey, Sheska, when you have the time, do you think you could make a copy of it for me?" he asked.

"What for, Edward?" she asked.

Edward just grinned, but Al, who, so happy that they were talking, took it upon himself to hear what they were talking about. Disappointing, it was only work, but certainly interesting nonetheless. "Oh, Edward, don't even think about it!"

"Think about what, dear brother?" Edward asked innocently.

"You're going to try to break the Colonel's code, aren't you?"

Ed shrugged. "Only when I'm bored. And then I can use it against him, proving that I'm much smarter than him!"

Alphonse rolled his eyes, Ed continued to grin craftily, and Sheska thought that, indeed, she had saved herself just in time, before Julie and Al trapped her with Ed. Genius, but strange.

* * *

One afternoon not too long after that, Edward had delivered the manuscripts from Sheska and as he left Mustang's office, Havoc, Fury, and Breda were heading down for lunch and invited Edward to join them. Well, he had not really seen them in a while, at least not in a way that he could socialize, and while he did not do that often either, it was better than returning to Al's house. It was still not home to him; he doubted it ever would be. Anyway, he headed down to the mess hall with Havoc, Fury, and Breda, to eat and chat.

It was during lunch that the subject turned to gossip, and Edward finally turned to Havoc, whom he was sure knew all the rumors buzzing around headquarters, and Fury, whom he was sure would actually share them with Ed. "So, I understand there's a pool around based on when I'll lose my virginity," Ed said nonchalantly.

The reaction was immediate. Breda coughed and looked away, Fury turned bright red, and Havoc smirked around the cigarette in his mouth.

"You guys wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

Havoc shrugged, Breda stood with his tray in his hand, and Fury glanced down at the table with guilt.

Edward smirked and leaned forward towards Fury. "So, what's your bet, Sergeant?" he whispered.

"...twenty-five," Fury admitted, his face growing even more red with embarrassment.

Ed sat back. "You're very kind. The Colonel, I understand, has me pegged at thirty."

"Twenty-one," Havoc said, leaning into the conversation.

"Second Lieutenant?" Ed said, turning to him. "Is that your wager?"

Havoc smiled slyly. "Actually, my bet is within the month before you turn twenty-one."

"That's rather specific, don't you think?"

He chuckled. "Well. Anyway, Edward, you asked if there was a pool here? Well, there is, and nearly everyone you see in here is swimming in it."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "I understand I'm the topic of many rumors, Havoc. Care to share any others?"

Havoc smirked again though, stood, and left. Edward frowned. "What the hell-" he muttered under his breath.

"Um..." Fury said, looking up bashfully. "Edward?"

Edward turned to Fury. "Yes?"

Fury glanced away as he began to talk. "Um, well, there's a rumor that you no longer have...that is, that you are...um..."

"A eunuch?" Ed supplied. "Where'd that come from, anyway?"

Fury's face was beet red. "Well, from the 'equivalent exchange' principle. It's rumored that, in order to bring your brother's body back, you had to sacrifice, your, um..."

Ed stood up in a rage. "Hey! My brother is worth much more than my balls!"

All eyes in the mess hall turned to Edward, standing on the table above everyone. Ed sank back down, grateful once again to be sma-

"AARG!"

* * *

That evening, as Edward lay in bed, the moonlight washing over his face, he found sleep evasive. Try as he might, he could not fall asleep. Slipping out of bed, Ed pulled on his coat and tiptoed into the hall. He stopped at the sound of voices coming from the living room.

"Alphonse, I have been wondering. Who was your first love?" It was Julie. What was she doing here so late? "I know you have probably known lots of girls, but who was your first love?"

Alphonse laughed, but Edward heard a little bit of hesitancy in his brother's voice. "My first love? Promise not to laugh?" She promised fervently. "Well, my first love was Edward."

Ed and Julie gasped at the same moment; Ed in his head and Julie in his ear. "Your brother?"

Ed flattened himself against the wall, his heart thumping so loud he felt it resound across the world.

"It was right after my soul was put in that suit of armor. I watched my brother undergo the painful surgery of automail grafting for both his limbs. He pushed himself through the recovery, all for me, determined to correct everything." Ed could hear the soft smile on Al's face as he spoke. "It was such a shock. There I was, nothing but a suit of armor, but amazing that I was even that. My brother sacrificed his arm just to save my soul; at the risk of his own life, he saved mine. How could I not fall in love with that?"

"How long did that last?" Julie whispered.

"Not long. I think, when we reached Aquroya, that's when it ended for me. It was a silly, confused crush, but we were brothers, and anyway, it was kind of hopeless. After all, I was just a suit of armor. I doubted even brother could love me that much, looking like that."

Edward turned away at that moment, and walked towards the back of the house. There was a large garden back there, surrounded by a large stone wall. Pushing the back door open, Edward slipped outside, the plush, dewy grass soft against his pair feet.

He approached the wall slowly, contemplating it, then clapped his hands together and pushed them against the stone. A loud flash of blue sparks lit up the yard for a moment, then fizzled out. A large section of the stone wall was missing; in its place, a perfect replica of the suit of armor Edward used to call brother. Lifting the helmet up, Edward slipped inside and curled into a ball.

The metal replica was cold, but cozy. Edward traced his hand along the back of the armor, resting his fingers at the spot where a soul was once attached. Bringing his left hand to his mouth, Ed bit on his finger until he drew blood, then brought the bloody finger back to the spot, tracing the old array. He smiled, then closed his eyes. Within minutes, Edward was fast asleep.

* * *

The next morning, Edward woke up shivering. Glancing around, for a moment he forgot where he was, but then he saw the array of his blood on the metal and remembered. Slipping out of the metal, he clapped his hands together and transmuted the replica back into a stone wall. Then he walked into the house.

Chatter floated from the kitchen down the hall. Laughter and Ed's stomach twisted. Had his worst fears finally come to fruition?

Ed shuffled into the kitchen, where Julie sat at the table talking to Alphonse at the stove. Al wore only a pair of pajama bottoms; Julie wore the matching top. Ed's blood turned cold in his veins, and since neither of them had seen him, he rushed back to his room and flung himself onto his bed.

So. Julie had stayed the night. And if Ed had slept indoors (or rather, waited hours and hours for sleep to find him) he would have heard the whole thing, every little moan, scream, groan...still, his imagination could provide him with enough. His imagination supplied him with too much.

They must have slept together. That was the only explanation, no matter how Ed looked at it. There were only two bedrooms in the house, and since neither knew he slept outside last night, Julie must have slept in Al's bed.

It was too much, too much, Ed told himself. Too much torture staying in this house.

Outside, a car horn sounded. It was Falman, who for the past month had given Edward a lift to military headquarters. Edward stood, changed quickly, then glanced into the mirror. His eyes had a haunted look; his face was paler than usual. In short, he looked horrible. But then he set his eyes, as though reaching an agreement with his reflection.

He would have to move out, that evening. He could no longer live here without dying.

* * *

Edward came out late that evening, when the street lights were all out, as were the ones in the house. The front door was unlocked, so his absence must have been noticed. Slipping inside, Ed crept down the hall to his room, pulled the suitcase out from under his bed, opened his closet and flung the few clothes in there on top it.

And that's when he heard it.

Moaning, coming through the wall, from Al's room. The headboard of Al's bed knocked against the wall.

Ed stiffened, his hands clenched in a red cloak, his eyes staring blankly ahead of him. His imagination went wild with jealousy, filling his head with images of them, images of something he could only imagine. A loud cry from Julie, a scream proclaiming Alphonse a god, broke him from his frozen shock. Ed shoved the rest of his clothes into his bag, then rushed out of the house, leaving his key on the counter on his way out. He jumped into the taxi waiting at the curb for him and directed him to a hotel, where Ed had rented a room for the night. Then he closed his mouth and shut his eyes, trying desperately to hold back the cry building up inside his broken heart.

Fifteen minutes later, the taxi pulled up to a hotel, the lights still on below in the bar. Ed crawled out, paid the man his fare, then hesitantly entered the building. No one took notice of him as he climbed up the stairs and into his room. Dropping his suitcase at the door, Ed fell face first on the bed, the course cover rubbing against his moist cheek. Below, Edward heard laughter, boisterous conversation of people much happier than him, people intoxicated with life and liquor. But inside Ed's head, all he could hear was Alphonse, imagining his brother whispering in Julie's ear, telling her how much he loved her. Now the tears flowed easily, and Ed buried his face in the pillow to smother his sobs.

After a while, the tears stopped, and Ed sat up. The debauchery from the bar below permeated his depressed mind and brought a thought to him, that perhaps it would be better to go down there and pretend he was happy. Join in the revelry and maybe, if they believed him, he would too. Maybe it was time to move on. Maybe it had been time for a long time.

Ed stood up from his bed and slipped out of his red coat, dropping it to the floor. He pulled on his black jacket and left the room, closing the door behind him and climbing down the stairs. Ed emerged from the dark corridor into the cheerful yellow light of the room below. Faces red with drink and love smiled all around him. Ed felt strangely out of place, but even as his heart clenched with unease, he made his way into the room and over to an empty table.

Edward gazed around the room, at all the bright, happy faces around him, and it reminded him of that time up at that coal-mining town. He remembered Al's kindness, how he brought Ed his dinner, so he would not starve.

"Excuse me sir?" A woman bent over him, placing a pint of beer on the table. "Compliments of the gentleman in the corner," she said.

Ed looked at the glass of pale drink, up toward the man in the corner, who, when he saw Ed's eyes on him, tipped his hat in his direction. Edward blushed, then studied this stranger. He was blonde, handsome, and the hand he tipped his hat with was metal. Ed was intrigued, stood from his table, and approached the man in the corner.

The man smiled once Ed stood above him. "Hello, Edward Elric," he said. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

Edward frowned and crossed his arms. "You're not from around here," he said, nodding at the man's automail arm.

"Well," the man said, "this is an inn. I'm from Rush Valley. My name is Caleb Wells."

Ed nodded. "So, what's with the free beer?" he asked.

"You looked like you could use it," he replied, smirking.

Ed contemplated him for a moment more, then bent over him and whispered, "Why to come up to my room?" Caleb sat back and grinned.

"Sure."

Edward led him up to his room, wondering what he was doing. He wondered what he could be thinking, even as Caleb took off his clothes. He wondered what was going on, even when the lights went out. And even as he cried out in release, he wondered how he could betray Al like this. He swore to himself, only Al would do this.

Even though, the entire time, he imagined that it was.

Chapter Three- And with it, I will go on living.

So, first things first. References to the anime/manga (which means spoilers, if you didn't get the allusions, and want to understand, read on.) _"Don't forget 3.Oct.11"_ is the message that Ed carved into the lid of his pocket watch, to remind him that he cannot turn back, but must keep moving forward. Mustang's log of research notes are in code, like most alchemists do (Dr. Marcoh's was a recipe book, Edward keeps his in a travelogue, and Roy uses women's names as code. Volume 3 of the manga, I think.) The part in the mess hall after Ed's loud proclamation on Al's worth, where he is very grateful to be sma- AARG is in reference to when Ed and Al were investigating Lab 5 and Ed nearly thinks how happy he is to be small, otherwise he would never be able to crawl through the ventilation system into the building. The he realizes he almost called himself "small."

My favorite thing in here was Rosette, the automobile mechanic! Ah, the jumper cables...ahaha...well. I am sure you all want Julie to die now, ne? Shout out loud if you do! I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite the fact that Al is sleeping with Julie and Ed just lost his virginity to a stranger. Mwahaha, this was a very fun chapter to write. I am looking forward to writing Chapter 4 for next week! Until then- Rowan


	4. Fusagaranu kizuguchi mo

Disclaimer: Rowan is tired and can think of no clever way to say this. So: Rowan does not own FMA. She did not write it, she did not create it.

AC (Author's Claim): The OCs in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Julie Hakuro and the gossiping soldiers are my characters! Yay, some things here are totally and completely mine!

Note: This is probably the most depressing of all the chapters. I apologize, but I do want things to get better, so Chapter five will be much nicer! Um, but this chapter, I fear, is necessary. (It is, on the plus side, the longest one yet!)

**Darling**

Chapter Four- Fusagaranu kizuguchi mo

Only hours later, after Caleb had crawled out of bed and pulled on his clothes, after he whispered a puzzled, "Who's Al?" as he slipped out the door, after the sun began to peek over the window sill, did Edward remember.

It was two weeks before his twenty-first birthday.

Ed buried his face in the pillow and tried not to think of Alphonse as tears fell from his eyes.

* * *

"Hey, Colonel," Edward called as he entered his office later that day. "You were off by about ten years."

Roy glanced up from his work- yeah right, Ed thought- and frowned. "What?" But then he noticed something different in Ed's eyes, something lost within those glimmers of gold. "You mean…"

Edward sat down a little too roughly in the seat in front of Mustang's desk. "Uh huh," he said, his eyes dark.

Roy smirked and leaned forward. "So…tell me about it!"

"I'd rather not," was Ed's short reply.

Roy sat back. "That bad, huh?" he said. "I understand. What was it that made it bad? Was she not into you?" He wrinkled his nose and whispered, "She didn't fake it, did she?"

Ed glared up at Roy. "I don't want to talk about it," he ground out.

"All right, all right, I understand. Jeez, what's with you today?" Mustang glanced at Ed. "Oh yeah, that's right. It's _you_."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Roy grinned. "It means you've always got a stick up you're a-"

"Excuse me, Colonel Mustang?" Master Sergeant Fury said as he glanced into the room.

"Yes?"

Fury entered the room, in his meek manner standing on the threshold. "Um, you haven't see Edward Elric have you?" Ed turned around in his seat and Fury jumped. "Oh, Edward!"

Ed frowned in consternation. "What is it, Fury?"

"Uh, your brother was here earlier. He said you never came home last night." Fury looked down at his hands, instead of stare at Ed's intense eyes. "He looked really worried."

Ed could feel Mustang's eyes boring into the back of his head, so he laughed to throw off the older man's concern. "Oh yeah, I forgot to call him last night. I, uh, stayed at the library all night, doing some research. Thanks for reminding me, Fury."

Fury nodded. "Oh, okay. Shall I call him and tell him that you're here?"

"No!" Ed cried, then realized that both of them were watching him warily. "Uh, don't trouble yourself. I'll call him later."

"Okay Edward." Fury stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him again.

"So, Colonel, what were we-" Ed began to say, then scowled at the blank look on the Colonel's face. "What is it?" he said.

"…I just realized," Roy said, "that Havoc won."

Edward could not help but begin to laugh, a bitter, biting, sarcastic laugh. "I wonder, Colonel, just how much you put up on that bet!" he said.

Roy turned completely pale. "I bet...a date with Hawkeye," he muttered, eyes wide.

Ed paused and raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I bet...that if he won, I'd go on a date with Hawkeye, and spare no expenses." Ed wanted to laugh again, but refrained. Wasn't it obvious anyway, that Roy need not spare any expense on Riza, that she loved him no matter what? But then, men are dense, and Roy was as dense as a fifty foot thick concrete wall.

"Well then, Colonel, shouldn't you come out here and ask for that date before someone else snatches her up?" a voice from the door interrupted, startling both Ed and Roy. They turned in their seats and found Havoc smirking at them from the doorway. "Hello Edward, I heard the great news!" He smiled around his cigarette. "Knew you had it in you."

Edward began to rise from his seat, his face red with rage, but Havoc ducked out of sight before he could male it halfway across the room. In his place stood a puzzled Riza Hawkeye who blinked owlishly into the room.

"Colonel Mustang?" she said. "Havoc says you have something to ask me?"

Roy flushed and Ed quickly fled the room. Closing the door on the stuttering colonel, Ed turned to make his escape when he was cornered by Havoc, and Fury meekly behind him.

"So, Edward, I understand that you were very busy last night," Havoc said nonchalantly. "You were studying all night in the library, and yet you found enough time to get laid?" He smirked. "Oh, you're good. Mixing work and play, huh?"

Edward flushed now, and tried to shrink into the wall. Could he transmute the wall- but no, that would only lead back into Mustang's office... "What's your point, Havoc?" he grumbled.

"Um, Edward," Fury stepped forward, standing at Havoc's elbow and watching his hands. "You didn't have a disagreement with your brother, did you?"

"What, did Al say anything?" Edward asked, eyes anxious.

Fury shuffled his feet. "Well, no, but it seems that way. Alphonse mentioned that you've been looking upset lately. He thought that you might have...run away..."

"I'm twenty years old," Ed said. "Anyway, there's nothing wrong between Al and me. I...just find it inconvenient trekking out that far every day."

Fury glanced up eagerly. "Oh! Are you looking for a place to stay?" he asked.

Ed frowned at the man. "...I guess so. Why?"

Fury grinned. "Well, to tell you the truth, I've been looking for someone to room with me in my new apartment. It's got two bedrooms, but it was the only thing I could find that was reasonable, and close to headquarters." Fury blushed. "You see, I need someone to split the rent with..."

Edward folded his arms over his chest and thought. He could use a place to stay, and Fury wasn't a bad person, though rather timid. He wasn't annoying (though he did have the annoyingly Al-ish trait of bringing lost animals home), and he probably wouldn't complain if Ed was moody. In fact, there was no reason not to, but then Havoc had to speak. And what did he mean by:

"It's completely across town from Alphonse's home."

Ed shot him a look. "What does that matter?" he spat. He furrowed his brows, gazed off into space, compared the pros with the cons, and chose to ignore Havoc's remark.

"Okay, Fury. I accept your offer. When can I move in?"

* * *

Edward had been living with Cain Fury for a week now. A week until his birthday. Not that he was counting down. And, except for that small lapse in judgement, his celibacy now nearly extended to his twenty-first year. Which was more than he could say about everyone else around him.

Roy was definitely...well, if it wasn't Hawkeye, it was some other girl.

Painful, but true, Al hadn't lasted two decades.

And Fury was up to _something_, though who or what it was Ed couldn't say for sure. But he had been coming "home" - it felt weird to say that, because even though he lived here, this was not home either- rather late, in the "wee hours of the morning", as they say. Not that Fury ever disturbed Ed, who was perpetually up doing research, too tired of everything to sleep. Too tired of trying. If Winry saw Ed now, her heart would burst with pity. But Winry was in Resembool and happy as far as he knew.

But yes, Fury was up to something, and after a week in the apartment, Edward found out exactly what that was.

That evening he and Sheska had stayed up late, poring over books. While she had been making tea one afternoon, she happened to knock down a stack of very dusty books. While cleaning them up and piling them up again, she got distracted and began to read them. Needless to say, she was only roused from her fervent read when the water had long since boiled. Luckily, the house survived. Anyway, much of the books she had found were on very advanced forms of alchemy and she immediately thought of Edward. That day, once work was complete, they spend hours reading them and Sheska, rather tearfully, even found it within her to part with a few of them, giving the books to Ed as an early birthday gift. So by the time Edward finally returned to the apartment, it was early morning.

The first suspicious thing he noticed was a blue military coat lying on the coach, as though tossed there by some careless person. Fury, Ed knew, was anything but careless, and besides, the coat was much too large for him. So Fury had a guest over, but...but that guest left his blue pants in the middle of the hallway. And this would not have upset Ed if he hadn't nearly tripped over them. He was lucky though and managed to save his nose from making friends with the floor. The next thing Edward noticed was an accumulation of clothes- obviously whatever was left of the guest's attire and what looked to be all Fury's- lying beside the ever-so-slightly open door. Ed was too curious for his own good. He peeked inside...

...and saw a sight he wished he could erase. But the only thought that drove that image from his mind was the thought of Al and Julie, and that was a thought he needed great willpower to get rid of. In short, basic, livable terms, Ed saw Havoc and Fury. And that's all he is willing to say. No need to impart the image to anyone else.

But Edward, now at his third encounter with sex in the past two weeks, soon overcame his shock, and decided to surprise the two officers. Picking up their clothes with a wrinkled nose, he tossed them in the wash, then proceeded towards the kitchen, where many disasters occurred...

When Havoc and Fury woke up many hours later, the sun was already quite high in the sky and the wonderful smell of bacon permeated the air. Jean rolled over in bed, expecting it to be empty, and muttered, "Thank you Cain, that's so sweet of you to cook breakfast for me."

He did not expect the slim arm thrown across his chest or the "Your welcome," to sound so giddily sarcastic.

Jean shot up and looked around him. With a glance down, he saw Cain clinging to his side, a gentle smile on his face. A sharp turn of his head told him that Edward Elric was smirking at him from the doorway.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Ed said. "Sleep well last night?"

Havoc jumped out of bed and rushed past Edward into the hallway to grab his clothes. Edward watched the wonderful expression of confusion cross Jean's face when he saw the clothesless corridor.

"Looking for your clothes? They're in the wash."

Havoc blinked at Edward, then suddenly became aware that he was naked. With wide eyes, he dove back into bed with Fury. "Shit!"

Fury blinked awake at this rather loud expletive. "Huh? Jean, what is it?"

Havoc looked at bleary-eyed Cain. "Edward found out."

Fury sat bolt upright, the sheet held protectively around his middle as he turned to Edward on the threshold. "Edward! I-I hope we didn't wake you," he said, blushing.

Ed stared at him for a moment, then snickered into his hand. Cain blinked at Jean, who shrugged. When Ed calmed, he straightened then said, "I made you guys breakfast and your clothes should be dry soon. But next time you leave your clothes in the hallway, I'm throwing them out the window. And I'll give you toast for breakfast the next time you scare me like that." Ed stepped into the hall, his hand on the door knob. "I'm going out now. Can you do me a favor and next time, keep your door closed all the way?" He then shut the door on their stunned faces.

* * *

That morning, Edward found himself in the grocery store that Alphonse frequented when he stayed with him. He hadn't realized at the time, only fixated on getting something to drink other than milk. He made the horrible discovery that they were out of orange juice and coffee beans. There was only...milk...and that just would not do. Fury would not complain about him food shopping (though later Havoc did object to Edward using some of his "hard-earned" cash for it.)

Edward was standing in front of the orange juice when he saw him out of the corner of his eye. Alphonse, and he was coming closer. Ed turned around and tried to walk out of the aisle before Al saw him, but...Al could recognize that braid of golden hair anywhere.

"Edward!" Al called instantly, and Edward had to freeze in his tracks. "Ed!" Al rushed forward and spun Ed to face him. Al shook him by the shoulders. "Where have you been?"

Ed glanced up into Al's worried grey-blue eyes, the color of a turmoiled sky, and lost all words. "I..." he looked away, his eyes resting on the cold cartons of milk to his right. "I'm sorry Al. I've been really busy." He chanced a glance up again, but couldn't bear it. "I've moved in with Fury near headquarters. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Al's hands fell from Ed's shoulders. "Oh. _Why_ didn't you tell me?"

Ed looked up at his brother and swallowed. "...I'm sorry. I...didn't want you to take it the wrong way. It's just..." Ed trailed off. Al's head tilted into the corner of his vision.

"Yes? What is it, Ed?"

"How can he forgive me like that?" Edward thought bitterly. "...You and Julie just seemed so great together, I felt a little like the third wheel, so I decided to move out."

"But what about you and Sheska?"

Ed laughed, short and sad. "No, there's nothing between us. She's just a friend." Edward turned away from Al's sweet face, because he longed to cover it with kisses. How he had missed him, how he always missed him, even now. Where was the armor that kept his brother safe? Kept him his?

"Hey, Alphonse...I was supposed to marry Winry this year," he whispered suddenly, wondering what he could be thinking. Not that they had promised not to tell, but...why reveal everything?

Alphonse crept closer, until Edward could feel his breath down the back of his shirt. "What happened? Kenneth?"

Ed shook his head. "Kenneth had nothing to do with it, though I supposed it helped. No, I knew that I could never marry Winry."

Al laid a hand on Ed's soft arm. "Why?"

"Because..." Why? Because he loved his brother, that's why. Because he could never hurt Winry like that. Because...no one was good enough. No one matched up to Alphonse... "Because she didn't love me."

"Brother..." Al said and pulled Ed into an embrace he thought he needed.

"She does not love me like that..." He forgot to mention that neither did he.

"It'll be okay, Edward. You 'll find someone new."

But all Ed wanted were those arms around him, hugging him with love, not with sympathy.

Not out of sympathy for a lie.

* * *

"I doubt it," said one of the men standing on the steps to headquarters. He and his companion both wore the blue uniforms of a soldier. Edward barely noticed them as he started climbing the steps.

"What makes you say that?" the second man asked. He had a nicer look to him than the first, who was surly and sullen.

"I still believe that Elric is a eunuch. I bet it's all I lie that Second Lieutenant Havoc came up with so he could win that bet."

The second fellow laughed, and now Ed could hear them. "How much you want to wager?" he said to his gruff friend.

"I'm serious! I think Elric's a eunuch!"

"Which one?"

The first man blinked. "What do you mean?"

"FullMetal or his brother?"

The surly one glowered. "Wait, the brother's the one dating General Hakuro's niece, isn't he?"

"Yes, that's right. Why?"

Edward was now paused on the steps above them, listening with attentive ear to their otherwise unintelligent conversation.

"Haven't you heard about her reputation? She's a man hater, that one. Swore off men completely."

"That so?" The companion laughed. "I think you say that because you couldn't lay her."

"It's not that! I swear she is!" the first man bellowed. Now Ed was growing very interested.

"Well, I heard that Julie Hakuro was very serious about Elric."

"Hmph," the surly soldier grumped. "Bet he's a girl then," he remarked. "Looks like one, don't he?"

A fist suddenly flew through the air and the man found himself staring up at the sky. His friend jumped back at the fearsome cry.

"Insult me all you want, call me a eunuch- hell, call me short! But never talk about my brother like that!" Edward shouted before he pounced on the unfortunate man and began to attack him with angry fists.

"Stop! Help! Please!" the man, frantic, tried to scurry away from the tiny golden demon whose blows fell like hail on his body. Edward's golden eyes were yellow with rage and madness, as though he were taking out all his frustrations on the poor soldier punching bag.

"Edward! Stop!" Edward felt his arms being held back by strong, invincible arms. Struggling, Edward realized it was futile as he recognized the voice of his captor. "Edward, what is going on?"

The soldier lay on the step, his left cheek and eye so swollen it looked like he was growing a watermelon on that side of his face. He scrambled up and inched away from the angry flushed face of the young alchemist, then collapsed into his worried friend's arms.

"Take him to the Infirmary," Major Armstrong instructed, his strong arms still holding on to the struggling Edward. "I'll take care of him." Edward stopped struggling, his rage seeping out through his hanging hands.

"I...I'm sorry."

* * *

It was rare to see Roy as upset as he was right now, standing with hands clenched on his desk. Edward could not bare to look at him; his eyes chose instead to stare holes into the floor, his face burning with shame.

"Edward, I'm disappointed in you." Mustang's voice was harsh and sorrowed. Edward hung his head lower. It was embarrassing enough for Major Armstrong to bring him into the Colonel's office like a naughty child, but this shame was ten times worse. "I thought you were above that. I thought you had grown up."

Ed chanced a glance up as Roy sank to his seat. His face looked tired, but despite the surfaced anger, there was a glow about his face.

"You are no longer a child, Edward," said Roy, his dark eyes catching Ed and holding his gaze. "When you were younger, it was cute and we tolerated your little tantrums. But you're an adult now, and adults have to control their emotions."

"I-" Edward began to say, but Roy cut him off with a shake of his head.

"I have to punish you, Ed," he said. "I don't know how I'll do that yet, but...you could have killed that soldier."

Edward clenched his hand into a fist and stared down at the white glove over metal. "...I...didn't mean to get so upset, but...they insulted Alphonse."

Roy sighed, then reached into his desk and pulled out a notebook. "Here," he said, handing the book to Edward.

"What's this?"

Roy sat back in his chair and glanced out the window, then turned a kind face back to the young man. "Edward, I know you don't like to talk about your feelings. But bottling them up like you have will only result in another outburst like today." Edward raised an eyebrow in question, his eye on the book in his hand. "So I want you to write your feelings out in that book. No one has to read it, it's just a sort of therapy."

"...What are you, my psychiatrist?"

Roy smiled. "Try it, Ed. Everyone has to express their emotions in some way. Even you, FullMetal."

Edward shook his head, but tucked the notebook in his pocket anyway. He smirked at Roy then. "Who told you that psychobabble shit anyway?" he laughed.

"A-hem," came a cough from the doorway and Edward panicked to see Hawkeye's sharp gaze on him. He laughed nervously and sank into his seat until the top of his head was just visible.

"Oh."

* * *

The next night, Fury, Havoc, and Edward sat together for dinner. Five days until his birthday, but who was counting? Edward watched Havoc inch his chair closer and closer to Fury until he was nearly sitting on top of him, and wondered if they knew apparent they were with each other. Even at headquarters, Ed bet that Hawkeye noticed how they exchanged glances, how Havoc would stop by Fury's desk and linger there for far longer than was necessary.

Not to mention the fact that they were jointly holding a surprise birthday party for Edward at the end of the week. They were rather loud, Ed admitted with chagrin. But they were bearable.

That day at headquarters he overheard the pair talking in whispers in the men's room about the celebration. It was amusing to walk in and see two pairs of feet in the same stall. He nearly walked out before bursting out in laughter when he heard them say his name. Now that was worth spying on and so he stayed. And since Ed hated surprises in general, it was good to have the heads up.

Ed got several more reminders as he heard them mention the party to Hawkeye, Mustang, Armstrong, Breda, Falman, and Al.

Havoc called Al on the phone, and invited Julie too. At least, he assumed the "Feel free to bring your girlfriend too," meant Julie.

And so commenced the first entry in Mustang's therapy note. The handwriting was messy and so Ed didn't bother with code- who could decipher it anyhow? Who would want to? But Roy did have a point; it was very relaxing.

Edward swore that as soon as the book was full, he would burn it.

Now _that _is therapy.

* * *

_Today, I came across a picture of Al I had shoved to the bottom of my suitcase. It is crumbled and torn, but strangely, Al's face is completely visible. Winry and I are nearly rubbed out, but Al's face is clear. It's Alphonse the suit of armor, so maybe I shouldn't say face, should I? Well, his helmet shows up plainly. _

_Even though it's just Al inside the armor, seeing that helmet in the picture gives me a strange jolt of pleasure, the same I feel anytime I hear his name. That same squishy, squashing pain in my heart that reminds me that I love my brother._

_That's right. I love him. Damn me, please, somebody damn me for this. For once I wish there were a God, because then I could blame this feeling on him. But it's my fault I feel this way, right? And therefore it should be my responsibility to get rid of this...emotion, isn't it?_

_I had a dream last night and woke up again, with Al's name on my lips. I don't want to spend eternity like this, God, please. Someone help me forget, someone help me please. Someone...because I didn't choose to love him, but I do._

_The thing is, if I were given the choice...would I love him anyway?_

* * *

The rest of the week passed in secrecy, and then it was Edward's birthday. Twenty-one had never been important until recently, and yet it still marked a certain point in Edward's life; twenty-one made him officially an adult, even though more than a decade ago he took on all the responsibilities of one. This would also be the first birthday he'd recognized in a while too- maybe since the last three or fours ago.

He was not looking forward to the party; all the same, when he walked into the apartment that evening, even Edward was surprised. Havoc and Fury had decorated the entire salon area with streamers and balloons and bright, cheerful colors. Beneath a large banner that congratulated Edward on making it this far stood Roy, with his arm around Hawkeye, Fury and Havoc, who looked like he wanted to mimic the Colonel's gesture of possession, Armstrong, Breda, Falman, Sheska, Gracia Hughes with Elycia beside her, and on the very end and with the largest grin, Alphonse, holding Julie's hand.

"Surprise!" they all shouted, Elycia, now nine years old, rushing forward to give Ed a hug.

"Happy Birthday!" she said, grinning up at him. The top of her head was just below his chin; Ed's eyes widened in surprise.

"Happy Birthday to you, Elycia," he said in her ear, returning the enthusiastic embrace. And then the festivities began.

Edward was seated at the head of the table with Elycia on his right. Beside her was Mrs. Hughes who took pity on the two men and cooked the dinner and baked the birthday cake. On Ed's left sat Alphonse, and beside him was Julie, red hair and proper manners. At the other end of the table sat Major Armstrong, who could be seen flexing his muscles to an unreceptive audience, though Sheska eyed him curiously from her seat beside Gracia. Edward watched as dinner was set on the table how Havoc and Fury restrained their desire to hold hands and each other like Roy and Hawkeye and Al and Julie were. Watching them took Ed's focus off Al's doting attention on Julie.

Elycia, however, would not let him forget that he was supposed to be happy, constantly engaging Edward in conversation and reminding him how great this day was, because they were both born. "Now, isn't that something wonderful?" she said with a grin. "Mommy told me how you helped me be born!" she told Edward at one point, pulling him down to her level to whisper this in his ear. "Thank you very much."

Edward blushed with pride. "I didn't do anything, Elycia," he told her.

"Sure you did! That's what Mommy says!"

Gracia smiled at Edward. "Yes Ed, you were a wonderful help, you and your brother. I'm glad that you were able to celebrate your birthday that year, despite..."

Ed nodded. "Yeah...thank you for that."

After dinner, Edward was ushered back into the living room and forced to sit on the couch to open presents. Edward blushed the entire time, not enjoying so much attention "just because I'm that much closer to growing old," he said gruffly.

After presents, the crowd of well-meaning friends finally stopped concentrating on Edward and began to mingle. Out of the corner of his eye, Ed saw Havoc follow Fury into the kitchen, where he caught him by the waist and kissed him lightly on the lips. Ed looked away, sad.

"Brother?"

Ed glanced over to Alphonse sitting beside him. Vaguely, Ed wondered where Julie was, but his mind held that thought for only a second before turning his attention to Al. "Yes?"

Al hugged Ed gently around his shoulders. "Happy birthday, Ed. You are enjoying it, aren't you?"

Ed felt his chest tighten at the contact, but he forced his shoulders to relax and his mouth to widen in a grin. "Of course I am." Al held Ed out at arm's length, a probing look in his dark, sweet, eyes. "Really, Al. I'm overwhelmed."

Al smiled. "I'm glad." But when he turned his face away, Ed recognized worry in his face.

"What's the matter, Al?" he asked.

Al glanced up. "Huh? What's- oh, nothing." Ed folded his arms over his chest. "It's just..." Al sighed. "I miss you, brother. I wish you would come back home."

Ed tried to keep his mouth shut, but, "I don't have a home," slipped out before he could stop it.

"Oh." Al stood, a half smile, which looked more like a pathetic grimace, sliding over his mouth. "Oh, okay." He moved across the room, his back on Edward.

Edward cursed inside his head and before he could cause a scene, he hurried back to his room. Who should he find there but...

Julie.

She stood at his desk, her back to the door, her red hair giving her away in the dim light from the hall. She was looking for something, though it wasn't clear what.

"Excuse me, Miss Hakuro," Ed said coldly. "May I help you with something?"

Julie turned around, her green eyes wide with surprise. "Edward! I-I..."

Ed frowned at her. "What are you looking for?"

"Well, you see..." Julie glanced around the room, her eyes frantic as she tried not to look at him. Her cheeks glowed pink. "You see, Mr. Edward, I have done extensive research on you for years now. Many of those books in Alphonse's library that refer to you got their information from me. I am a journalist, Edward Elric, and you are a mystery to many people. No one knows your heart; they barely know what is readily available." Julie smiled nervously.

"And this explains why you're in my room?"

"I came to see if you kept a journal or something. Dating Alphonse sure has its perks."

Ed glowered. "You better not be using my brother to further your career," he said, recalling what the soldier had said about her, about her hating all men.

"Not at all. I love Alphonse; it's just convenient that you happen to be brothers. Anyway, I happened to have found something rather...interesting." Julie held up a notebook in her hand. It was the one Mustang gave him. "I wanted to understand the emotions of the FullMetal Alchemist. There are enough books out there on your accomplishments, but what about the person beneath?" She flipped to a page near the beginning. "This notebook has some truly insightful passages, all on what you feel. This entry goes on and on about your guilt over the death of Nina Tucker, and this other one..." Julie began to flip through the packed pages of the note, searching for something legible.

Edward rushed forward, his eyes wide when he realized that some of the passages were quite easy to read. Panicked, he tried to rip the book from her hands. "How dare you," he hissed. "That's private!"

"Oh!" Julie squeaked as Ed wrenched the book from her grasp. Some pages were torn from the binding and fell to the floor. Julie smirked as she bent down to pick them up. "Now I am more interested to know what's in that book," she said. "I think I'll start with these pages..." She began to read the scrawled handwriting, then her skin turned pale, her eyes wide, and her breath would not come. "Oh..." she gasped, shock and slowly creeping disgust like shadows crossing her face.

Edward's eyes narrowed in horror, tears coming to his eyes as he recognized the pages on her hand.

Her eyes flashed up, the green a fierce, terrible light- like truth, bright and horrifying. "You...you...how can you," she muttered under her breath. "You creature. I'll never let you...never..." Ed hung his head and buried his face in his hands.

"Damn you," he whispered softly, "damn you."

Julie, seeing Edward weak, pulled herself up to her full height and sneered down at him. "Did I tell you, Mr. Edward? Your brother asked me to move in with him the other day. I did not know what to tell him, but I just decided that I will. So whenever you come to see him, expect to see me." She bent over his head and put her lips beside his ear. "I'll never let Alphonse alone with you. Never." She sprinkled the torn out pages over him like confetti, then stormed out of the room.

A sob escaped Edward's throat. "Damn it," he thought. "That's why I never pray to God. He's an evil, vindictive bastard."

Chapter Four- I'll tightly embrace your wound

This was the most depressing, wasn't it? Julie knows that Edward loves Alphonse...damn, that's not good, is it? I apologize if anyone is offended by the heresy at the end of this chapter (though I hope none of you are.) Though there were some positive things about this chapter, such as Havoc and Fury. Oh, by the way, I only used their first names for the scene when Ed wakes them up because...well, Jean and Cain only worked in that scene, that's why. (Note- Jean Havoc and Cain Fury. Just in case- after all, I forget Havoc's first name all the time!) What is Edward going to do now that Julie knows his secret? Find out in Chapter Five, same day, same place. I promise that one will be better, okay? Until then- Rowan


	5. Gyu'tto dakishimete

1Disclaimer: Rowan is tired and can think of no clever way to say this. So: Rowan does not own FMA. She did not write it, she did not create it.

AC (Author's Claim): The OC in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Julie Hakuro is my character! Yay, some things here are totally and completely mine!

Note: This was a long time coming, and I apologize for the long delay. Let's just say that Mother Nature was not on my side and she, along with many college visits, forced this chapter to the back burner. And instead of rushing this chapter, I wanted to make it good, so that is another factor that went into that delay. But at least it is now finished. You waited two extra weeks for this, so without further delay, on to Chapter Five!

**Darling**

Chapter Five- Gyu'tto dakishimete

_Edward Elric is more twisted than I ever gave him credit for. I'd heard he was a bit of a hermit, certainly very anti-social, barely knows how to function in public at all! As a State Alchemist, quite disappointing. But last night I discovered just how messed up he really is. Elric keeps a diary of sorts and in many of the entries I read, he confessed to having incestuous feelings for his brother, Alphonse. He seemed to realize how sick he is to have such thoughts; still, while he pleaded many times for those feelings to go away, he lingered on many fantasies he imagined up between himself and his brother. Both fascinating and vile to read._

_Of course, I shall keep this information to myself at the moment. No real need to destroy Alphonse's image of his older brother, and as I have promised that neither shall see each other alone- should those disgusting urges overtake the elder Elric in the solitary companionship of his brother- I need not worry about Alphonse being corrupted by such desires._

_It is a pity, though. I have grown rather...fond, of Master Alphonse. Even enough to consider marrying him. After all, I must be careful in choosing a mate worthy of my status as a General's niece, and Alphonse would have been an excellent choice. Well-bred, with a famous older brother, soft-spoken, and not bad in bed (though I've had better.) Of course, after my biography of Edward Elric is published, there can be no question of marrying Alphonse. While he does not currently seem to reciprocate any kind of similar feeling toward his brother, the mere association will, undoubtably, make him quite taboo among the better social circles. Not his fault, and if I could I would spare him the humiliation, but the truth must be known. Edward Elric must be exposed as the monster he is. Not only to transgress the line between life and death, performing the forbidden art of human transmutation, but to harbor such sinful lust for his brother Alphonse as well? No, the public must be made aware of just who it is they are idolizing. Yes, it is a nasty job, but someone has to do it. No matter the cost._

_

* * *

_

"Alphonse!" Edward sat up in bed, his body covered in sweat, his eyes wide, searching the room as if expecting to see his brother, or the suit of armor he once called brother, waiting and watching. But his room was empty, the door open only a crack to the hallway. Across the corridor, Ed could hear Havoc's snores. Al was nowhere to be seen.

Lying back down, resting the nest of golden hair in the damp impression in the pillow, Ed felt sad enough to cry. Another dream of course, about Alphonse and things that he could never know. The contours of Al's stomach, the skin stretched tight over his ribs, the tight ropes of muscle in his arms, and how strong they felt holding Edward to his chest. And lower, where he could only fill in with what little knowledge he had and the time he brought Alphonse's perfect body back. Ed closed his eyes and wished himself back to his dream, where everything was perfect and where Al loved him and where that was okay. But sleep evaded Edward and would not let him escape to that fantasy.

Sighing in defeat, Edward slipped out of bed and crept over to his desk, turning the desk light on and pulling the notebook out from an alchemically locked drawer. It had been about a week and a half now since his birthday party and since no one had come to kill him for his sins, least of all Alphonse, Ed could safely assume that Julie had kept the information she found from his note to herself. At least for now he was safe, though how close she was to finishing her book was unknown. No doubt in Ed's mind that she would mention that then.

The thing that bothered Edward equally as much as Julie's knowledge of what no one should have ever known was Alphonse's soft refusal to speak to him. Ed had called at least a half a dozen times to apologize to Al for being so heartless- though honest- but every time he was immediately hung up on. There was the possibility that Julie was behind that, but she couldn't have answered the phone all those times, which meant that Al really did not want to speak to him.

Edward held the detested notebook in his hand, his lip curling at the soft leather cover. Flipping through the pages with his metal thumb, his eyes caught words like "love" "help" "death" "please" and, scrawled with love and hate and passion and desperation, "Alphonse." How stupid, to think writing in this book would help him!

Ed placed the notebook on the desk. Behind him, he could feel the moon watching over his shoulder. Edward smirked at her soft blue light leaking through his shades into his room, like it was some place important. Laughing under his breath, Edward solemnly clapped his hands and held them dramatically over the note. "In honor of you, Colonel," he said, then placed his hands on the book.

At first nothing happened and Ed raised his hands away from the leather cover. Stepping back, his shadow fell away from the book and the moon illuminated a tiny spark in the middle of the yellow pages. Slowly, the spark grew, hunger in its nature, like a tiny dragon gobbling up the words, food for thought and fuel. Soon the book was nothing more than a tiny bonfire, a pagan ritual to some god or other, asking, perhaps, for salvation. Or maybe it was a ceremony in honor of the deity, thanking them for the gifts they showered down. Edward watched, unsure of what he wanted more: to forget, or liberation. The kind of liberty only gotten from drink or hermitage. The kind of freedom that took away shame.

As the book fizzled into a tiny pile of ashes, Edward's eyes began to droop and, staggering into bed, he managed to fall into a tortuous, dreamless, sleep.

* * *

One afternoon not long after that, Edward found himself sitting at a table near a window inside a restaurant in downtown Central. It was not a particularly memorable lunch, except Alphonse walked inside, alone. Julie, with her flame-red hair, flawless speech, and aura of feminine perfection, was nowhere to be seen. Edward was in the middle of a bite into his sandwich when he saw Alphonse walk inside, his face free from worry and looking as beautiful as ever. Ed tried to hide among the cold cuts and cheese, so only his eyes showed above the rise of the bread, golden suns over a wheat-covered hill watching as his brother sauntered over to the counter. His heart beat in his chest and the blood turned his cheeks pink with excitement. At once Edward wished for Al to see him, and at the same time not, so he could unabashedly study him from afar.

As Ed's mind raced to pray to whomever would listen, not quite sure which he wanted more, someone seemed to decide for him, as Alphonse's eyes wandered over to the window and, inevitably, Edward's wide eager eyes. He started in surprise and Ed's heart froze for a moment, until a warm, generous smile spread over his face and broke Ed's heart. Speaking to the man behind the counter for a moment, Al pointed towards Edward's table, then walked over to it. Ed dropped his sandwich, his fingers numb with shock and each step that brought Alphonse so much closer. Even his automail hand reacted as though it were part of his biological structure, falling to his side, useless against the power of Alphonse's presence.

Finally, excruciatingly, Alphonse stood beside Edward, the smile still gleaming on his face. "Edward!" he cried, his hand inching through the air toward Ed's shoulder, but hesitating. He had not forgotten what ed said at his party, and his heart had been wounded; despite the grin, Edward could see that in his brother's dear eyes. "What a pleasant surprise. Do you mind if I sit?"

"Uh...no, not at all," Edward replied, so conscious of his over-squeaky voice. Ed never thought he'd see him again, and here he was, completely, orgasmically, whole, and all his for this moment. No wonder his throat felt so tight with disbelief. "It's great...to see you, Al."

Al grinned, but it faded at Edward's wide eyes and tensed body. "Is something wrong?" he asked, worried, reaching his hand out again, but retracting it before making contact. "Brother, are you under a lot of stress at work?"

Edward shook his head quickly and returned, too late, a shaky smile. "No, I'm fine. In fact, Colonel Mustang hasn't given me any assignments lately and I've been begging him for some kind of work." Ed laughed uneasily. "The bastard, he must have something huge planned and wants me to get used to this leisure so he can dump it on me unexpectedly."

Alphonse laughed, throwing his head back and letting loose the most musical sound in the world. Ed turned his head toward the window so he wouldn't have to watch. What a wonderful place to let his love show, and surely if Al looked up now, he would see the light of love in his older brother's eyes. Wouldn't that be wonderful, for only around Al did Edward feel completely naked.

Al's laughter faded into a shimmering note, hanging in the air then coming to rest in Edward's heart. Al looked out the window to the sunny afternoon outside, his eyes trying to meet Ed's reflection in the glass. "You know Mustang doesn't really live to make your life miserable, Ed," he said.

Ed sighed and closed his eyes. Even in the glass, Al's eyes were intense; even his reflection gave him away. "No, I suppose not. I guess it's just habit to say that now; tradition, you know?" Ed lifted his eyes to Al, but away before Al could glance back at him. "Anyway, I heard that...that Julie's moving in with you?"

Al blushed. "Oh, yeah. Well, she insisted that it was the right thing to do, now that we've reached that part in our relationship."

Ed glanced up sharply. "What?"

Al nodded. "Yeah, it was really weird. The day after your birthday, she came up to me and said that we'd reached that point in our relationship where we should move in together or break up. 'Progress,' she said, 'is the only way for a relationship to develop. Either you move forward, or you get off the train.'"

"She said that?" Ed gasped.

Al chuckled. "Yeah, I was very shocked when she did too. Never imagined something like that coming from her."

Ed laughed with his brother, but it ended abruptly when the waiter came to get Al's order. When he left, a silence, not quite uncomfortable, reigned over the table. Neither spoke until the waiter returned with Al's lunch. When he left a second time, Ed could no longer stand the silence, the question nearly bursting from him.

"What did Julie mean by that 'point' in your...relationship?"

Al looked up from his food, his dark eyes meeting Edward's eyes, but missing the evident jealousy coloring the golden hue. Al unconsciously blushed. "Well, uh...Julie and I have kind of...well, a couple weeks ago was the first time we...we slept together."

"Ah," said Ed. "That point." His heart wondered loudly why he did that to himself. Maybe he really was masochistic.

"Say, Edward?" Al looked away from Edward, already embarrassed. "Have you ever...?"

Ed laughed bitterly. "You mean, am I still a virgin?" he asked. Al nodded slowly. "...Yes, I am."

"Oh..." Al didn't know what to say, and what was there to say to that anyway? Sorry? Do you want to be set up with someone? Or perhaps, maybe you can join us sometime. An offer Ed would pretend not to even consider.

Though, to be invited into Alphonse's bed, Julie or no Julie, would be a hard thing to refuse.

* * *

A painful two weeks passed, slow, agonizing, as Edward watched Al's relationship with Julie flourish from afar. Sleepless nights were spent staring at the moon, while the nights Edward managed to fall prey to slumber, horrible, wonderful dreams of Al and sheets and sweat and sex haunted him until morning. Edward moved from day to day, like a fully automail thing, moving mechanically from task to task, until he fell to his pillow, hoping for a reprieve from his pining and from his terrible fantasies.

The only thing that kept him alive were the secret meetings with Alphonse every few days. After the first lunch, the brothers made a regular habit of meeting for lunch a couple times a week. While Al was oblivious to Julie's decree that Ed would never be alone with Alphonse, Edward found an exhilarating pleasure in these lunchtime dates, as unfaithful to the girl as Al would ever get. And they talked, like they used to, and Ed slowly overcame to overwhelmingness of his love to hold a decent conversation with his brother, eye contact with no fear of self-betrayal. It was invigorating; it felt a little like living.

One subject Edward never brought up was Al's relationship with Julie. After the first time, he realized it just hurt too much to mention it, and so, he did not. There were much more interesting, neutral things to discuss anyway, such things as Winry's wedding, already being planned, or the tenuous relationship between Hawkeye and Mustang, who, despite their obvious feelings, were still not "physically involved." That detail Edward got from Havoc one evening at dinner, something Ed didn't really care about, but still amusing nonetheless, considering Roy's reputation.

One afternoon about two weeks since that first incidental meeting, Edward and Al sat in a cozy booth in the restaurant of a prominent hotel in the heart of Central. If Edward had cared to notice, he would have remembered that for one night, he had taken up residence there. But he was too mesmerized by Alphonse to notice anything but him. They were engaged in deep conversation when Alphonse grew quiet suddenly. Edward leaned forward, would have reached out his hand if had had the guts, and asked what was wrong.

Al sighed. "Well, Ed, I love hanging out with you, especially after not seeing you for the past few years. But why don't you ever call me at home? I don't know your number, but I know you have mine. I was just wondering if you liked talking with me, or if you're just doing this to be kind."

"Alphonse, I, um, I've been trying to call your house for the past month or so, but you keep hanging up on me," Ed said.

From the puzzled expression on Al's face, Edward knew something more was up. "You did? I never knew. You sure the connection wasn't bad?"

"No, because I always managed to announce myself before I heard the click of the other end. Maybe..." Ed didn't say it, because that would be spiteful.

Al shook his head in disbelief. "Julie? But why would she hang up on you? That doesn't sound like her at all."

"Well, Al..." Edward glanced down at his half eaten sandwich. Suddenly he remembered that day some weeks ago when he lost his temper, the gossip about Julie that he hadn't really thought on since then. "Maybe you don't know everything about her, and maybe some things you think uncharacteristic are who she really is."

Al frowned. "What? Ed, you're speaking in code."

"Yes, I know." Ed smiled sadly at his brother. "Perhaps I want you to find out for yourself. Perhaps I don't want to ruin your relationship." Which was a lie. This was the opening he had so longly anticipated. Even though he knew there was much more than Julie in the way of Al's heart.

Al shrugged. "Maybe she's mistaken you for someone else," he said, still not wanting to believe that Julie would hang up on him on purpose.

Ed smiled widely, perversely. "I think she doesn't like me," he said.

"Why wouldn't she like you Edward?" Al, innocently, asked.

Ed shrugged. "I don't know, Al. Just a feeling." He didn't say it was because he disgusted her.

"Well, what do you mean, Ed?"

Edward glanced into his brother's eyes. She was using Al, right? To write a novel on his brother. Alphonse ought to know that. And the other thing, whether it was true or not..."I...don't trust her. I think she's using you, Alphonse."

Al shook his head. "No, Julie wouldn't. She really likes me, for me."

"Well, I've heard that she's a 'man hater' Al. That she can't stand men in general."

Alphonse laughed. "Oh, Edward, you think I haven't heard that silly rumor? That's just because Julie has high standards and won't date just anyone. She explained that as her uncle's niece, she has a responsibility to not blemish his good name, and so only certain people are good enough for her."

Ed grit his teeth. "Okay, I admit that's only a rumor and that you really can't trust other people's gossip, but do you know what her profession is? She's a journalist, isn't she?"

Al frowned, annoyed. "I...I think so..."

"And what's her specialty? Does her connections with the military make her the perfect correspondent for the news into the military's inner workings, the people to know?" Edward smirked, his face lit up with cruelty. "Don't you think it's odd how eager she was to get to know me? To find out all about me and become such _great friends_?"

Al's eyes widened up in obstinate disbelief. "I don't believe you, Edward. I can't understand your insistence in hating Julie, nor why you want me to mistrust her too. You may be my brother, Ed, but I trust Julie too. She wouldn't use me like that." Al stood up from the table and strode away from Ed.

"Wait!" Ed jumped up and ran after him. "Alphonse, please wait!" Al pretended not to hear Ed; they were halfway through the restaurant's bar now, Ed desperately following his brother. "Alphonse!"

"So that's Alphonse," a smooth, warm voice said, stopping Ed in his tracks. Turning, Edward saw the blonde from Rush Valley. Caleb? He couldn't remember, nor could he care less. "I can understand why you're chasing after him. He's quite a catch." Caleb glanced at Edward, a friendly smile on his face. "Hello again Edward. Was that another lover's quarrel?"

"You again," Ed said. "What do you want?"

Caleb shrugged. "Nothing. Just happened to notice that your Alphonse stomped out of here looking rather angry, and you following behind him like a lost puppy." Caleb winked. "Your Alphonse sure is fine, I wouldn't mind to have a piece of that." And then, to Edward's horror, Caleb licked his lips with a long red tongue. "Hey, if you two are into threesomes, I'm up to it any day."

Edward glared fire bolts at the young man. "Don't you dare talk about my brother like that!" he shouted too loudly.

Caleb's eyes were wide. "Your..._brother?_" he gasped.

Edward's golden orbs were as large as shocked plates as they stared at Caleb for a horror-stricken second, before Edward fled from the bar in haste and shame.

* * *

Alphonse, despite himself, found he could not forget Edward's accusing words. Julie would never use him like that, but why would Ed say that? He had to have a reason, and looking out for his brother's feelings was certainly one of them, but shouldn't he let Al make some of his own mistakes? He wasn't a child anymore.

Ah. That was why Edward had upset him so much. It didn't bother him so much that Ed was looking out for him as it made al feel…young. But he was grown-up! Heck, he was more mature than Ed was, in some ways. Much calmer too. He hated when Ed treated him like a child, like someone who couldn't see the bad in people, didn't want to see that and therefore was like one blind.

After dinner that night, Alphonse and Julie curled up together in front of a gently roaring fire. Al thought and thought and thought on Ed's words, and finally could no longer take it, his own bursting curiosity. "Julie, I've been wondering…"

Julie glanced up through her bright hair, nearly golden from the fire's gold. Like Edward's hair, only softer, sweeter. "Yes, Alphonse?"

"…well, um, have you written anything lately?"

"No, I haven't." Her verdant eyes blinked in wonder. "Why?"

"Today at lunch, Edward told me that…well, he seemed to think that you could have ulterior motives for dating me." Al found himself unable to look Julie in the eye as he said this, a question of trust.

Julie sat up from her comfortable lounging by al's side, her wild hair like rage flaming around her face. "You saw Ed at lunch?" she whispered, her voice terse.

Alphonse didn't notice the roughness in her voice for what it was, taking it instead that she was offended. "Yes, but don't worry Julie! I told Ed that there was no way you would use me like that!"

Julie remained still a moment more before sinking down next to Al again. "But of course I wouldn't, Alphonse. What reason would I have to use you? Anyway, I wouldn't listen to anything Mr. Edward says. He's just jealous, you know."

Al glanced down at the girl leaning against him. "Jealous?"

"Yes. He does not like that you have found love so quickly while he has not. It irritates him to see you happy."

"You think so?" Al asked with a frown.

Julie leaned up and brought Alphonse into a long, tender kiss. As she pulled back, she smiled softly. "Trust me, Alphonse."

"I…do."

* * *

The next morning, Edward barged into Roy's office and placed his hands firmly on the edge of the desk, his eyes narrowed into thin slits. "Colonel, I request that you give me something to do that will get me out of Central, _please!_"

Roy, bleary-eyed, blinked up at the young man. "Why so eager to leave, FullMetal?" he asked with a yawn.

Edward turned his head away, the glare softening with something that resembled sorrow. "I just need to get out of this place. I…was always better when traveling."

Roy frowned. "Edward, please sit down," he said at last. "I can't think with you hovering over me like that."

"Sorry," Ed mumbled as he sat down in one of the seats on the other side of the desk.

Roy turned his seat to face the window and Ed scowled at the man's back. "I told you last week I don't have anything for you. And I also remember saying that when I did, I'd let you know." Ry turned back around and raised an eyebrow, the only sign of sarcasm on his face. "Please correct me if I'm wrong, FullMetal."

Ed let his head fall a little; his next words came out in a whisper. "Then let me go on a vacation, anything, but please let me leave Central." It was the closest thing to pleading Roy had ever seen from Edward.

Leaning his arms on the desk, Roy's eyes softened. "Edward, you just got back from a vacation. Besides, I need you to stay in town in case something comes up where you'll be needed." Edward sighed. "I'm sorry."

Edward stood and walked towards the open door. "I understand, Colonel. I'll be back next week."

Roy stood just as Edward began to leave. "FullMetal, just one second please." Ed paused on the threshold and glanced over his shoulder toward Mustang. His eyes were like amber coals, smoldering with some uncertain, tenuous emotion.

"What is it, sir?"

"Why do you want to leave so badly?"

Ed's spine stiffened. "Are you asking as my commanding officer or-"

"As your friend, Edward. You don't have to answer, but if something is bothering you, I would like to help."

"No one can help me, but…"Ed said with a slight frown. He stood in the doorway, contemplation deep in the thin wrinkles of his forehead. Then he closed the door and returned to the chair across from Mustang. Roy, seeing Edward sit back down, seated himself as well.

"The reason I want to leave Central is…is…" Edward pouted when words would not come, as though they had vanished like smoke from the tip of his tongue. "It's complicated," he muttered, visibly frustrated.

"Take all the time you need, Ed. I'm surprised that you're actually trying to tell me at all," said Roy, an understanding smile on his face.

Edward glanced down at the gloved hand resting on his knee and clenched the cold fingers into a fist. Stupid, he thought, that I'm thinking of telling someone! No, no one must know, bad enough that Julie's planning on telling the world soon enough. Edward stood up and walked back to the door.

"Edward? What-"

Ed glanced back at Roy, a haunting look in his eyes. "I'm sorry Colonel. You'll understand eventually."

"Understand what?" Edward's hand was on the doorknob, slowly pushing it open.

"You should read my biography Roy. Comes out in a few months. I hear it's gonna be good." Ed smirked, then slipped out the door.

"…how come he gets a biography? He's just a little pipsqueak compared to me!"

* * *

Despite Julie's smooth assurances by the fire, Alphonse spent the whole of the following day teetering between his two loyalties- that to his brother, and that to his lover. Edward, no doubt, knew Al better and would always have his brother's interest at heart; he would have no reason to manipulate him. Meanwhile, Julie could have ulterior motives; she might be only out for herself. But then what was the point in trusting someone if you always looked for the bad? However, if Julie was in the right, then Edward was wrong, and despite Al's initial reaction in the restaurant, he really wasn't sure whom he trusted more.

Though to say that Edward's suspicions had not crossed Al's mind would be an enormous falsehood. He too once had doubts in Julie.

If only Ed and Julie could be friends, as great as what Julie had once proclaimed she wanted to be! Then Edward would see just how wonderful Julie was and learn to love her as Al did. Only, not quite as much. And then there would be no doubts, and they could be one happy family, and Alphonse would have nothing left to worry about.

That evening, Al returned home earlier than usual, the circuit of doubts throwing his concentration askew. Determined to go home and lay to rest once ad for all his questions, of Julie's loyalty, of Ed's supposed jealousy, Alphonse strode purposefully inside the darkened corridor. This was unexpected, as Julie was usually home with dinner in the oven or on the table, and her smiling face ready to greet him with a welcome kiss. But the silence and shadows were strangely ominous in a way Al could not describe.

Venturing further within, Al glanced into their bedroom, to see if Julie had taken a nap, perhaps, but she was not there. And a look outside the window showed Alphonse an empty backyard. Alphonse seated himself on the edge of their bed and rested his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. Gazing around the dark room, Al seemed unsure of what to do now, his determination from before deflating into the quiet. Perhaps his reasoning was foolish, that for one t be right the other had to be wrong. Could it be that Ed was right in worrying, just as Julie was right that the rumors were unfounded? Perhaps the only one wrong was Alphonse himself, for which he needed to apologize to both of them. Alphonse stood up to call Edward then, or at least, find out from the Colonel how he could contact Ed; he would apologize to Julie when she returned home.

But just as Alphonse was leaving the room, he spied on the desk in the corner a tiny brown leather bound book, old and heavy with words. It resembled the note that Edward used to use back when they had traveled together, the 'travelogue' which to Alphonse was ever only that. Picking it up, though, Al recognized the scrawling cursive of Julie's pen, and curiosity compelled him to read the tiny fancy words inside. Hadn't she told him that she wasn't working on anything? Ad this was not her diary; that much was certain, or else it would be locked

Alphonse sat in the dark and read, the only light coming from the curtained window in the corner, and the words he read shook the world.

Jealous? Yes, Julie was right, Edward had been jealous, if what she wrote was true. If it was true that Edward...loved him. _Loved_ him. That sent shivers down his spine, for he knew this was the black and white truth of it. Jealous, jealousy...yes, a thousand times true.

For the words in the note brought to Al's mind Edward- blushing, eyes turned away, embarrassment, shrugging out of hugs and always those eyes turned away from Alphonse's eyes, because Al used to think that light in them was simply a reflection of a lamp, of the sun, of something other than a feeling inside, an inner fire lit for him. And Alphonse, who used to know his brother so well, realized the jealousy he must have felt and understood Ed again.

And he realized the pain he caused his brother, and began to shake with sorrow and hopelessness.

* * *

When Julie came home that evening, she was surprised to find the front door unlocked, and even more so to see Al's boots in the hall. But when she entered the kitchen to make dinner, she was not surprised to see Al sitting at the table, waiting for her. Only the expression on his face was one she could never have imagined on his face, and that was what told her this was real.

And then she saw the notebook in his hand, dangling from his fingers like a delicate, horrible, withered flower.

"Alphonse," Julie said, freezing in the doorway. "Have you been reading my research log?"

Al lifted his hand and waved the book in his hand. "You mean this?" he asked, his voice cool, demeaning. "Yeah, I did."

Julie frowned, not sure what to say. "So, what are you going to do?"

Al stood up and walked slowly towards her, his eyes fighting to be fierce, but only coming out in the dim light as hurt. "You _used_ me," he whispered. "Didn't you? You just pretended to love me so you could write your book."

Julie gazed into Al's glassy eyes, her own hard as rust. "Maybe I did, maybe not. Maybe things just worked out that way. But you never believed what anyone told you about me; so why are you starting now?"

"Because these words prove it, Julie!" Al shook the book in her face. "You say it, right here, in your very words!" Al threw the note to the floor and looked away from her hard eyes. "And to think I called my brother a liar."

Julie, suddenly aware that she could actually lose Al because of this, a thought that had not, until this moment, caused her pain, suddenly burnt inside her chest like an angry dragon. Gripping his arms with a fierce fear, she yelled into Al's turned-away face. "You think your brother's so pure, that he doesn't have an agenda of his own? You read my notes, you ought to know that he only said that to get me out of the way, so he could have you all to himself!" Julie shook Al's body, limp with emotion. "I told him, when I found out his vile lust for you, that I would never let him see you again! He knew that and so told you those vicious things about me so that you would take sides, and choose him! He wants you all for himself, that's what he wrote, and I told him that I would never let him have you!"

"You think I'm that low, Julie?" Al lashed out and threw her away from him, slamming her into the wall. "I love my brother, that's true, and if it comes to choosing between him and a girl, I will always put my family first. But just because I choose Edward does not mean I love him like that. And Edward loves me enough not to interfere with my feelings, or force me to love him like that." Tears were forming small lines down Al's face as he shook and spoke. "Julie, you were trying to find the true FullMetal Alchemist, but you didn't even realize that. Edward is so distraught over losing my body once, he would never do anything to me again...Even at the cost of his own happiness? How could you not discover that about him?"

Alphonse bent down and picked up the forgotten notebook.

Julie made a step forward, her hand outstretched. "Alphonse, I-" she said.

Al shook his head. "No, I don't care what you have to say. I don't want an apology, I just want you out." Julie let out a sob that she had tried to keep in. Al glanced up and smiled weakly. "I told you, I'd choose him over you. Now I want you to gather your things and leave." Al turned and walked into the living room, where Julie heard him start up a fire in the fireplace.

Julie hesitated in the kitchen for a moment, then went quickly to Al's room and packed the few clothes she had placed in the closet beside his slacks. She paused in the gloom, took in one final glance, then returned to the living room, where Al was waiting.

He sat in one of the chairs near the fire, which glowed softly on his handsome face. Julie let her bag fall on the threshold as she stepped closer to him. Cradled in his hand was her note.

"Um, Alphonse, are you going to return that to me?"

Al glanced down at his hand. "No, because you are not going to write that book. Therefore, you have no need of this." And with one last contemplative look, he tossed it in the fire.

"Oh!" Julie jumped as did the sparks on the log immersed in the flames leapt up, then embraced the word-heavy pages. Turning away, she said, "Then that's all. Farewell, Alphonse."

Al nodded, but said nothing, and so Julie left out the front door, leaving her keys nestled in one of his shoes by the door. And she was gone, and there was silence.

Chapter Five- The one that will not close

So, I promised a "nicer" chapter and I'm not sure I delivered. If anything, this is more depressing that last chapter, which at least had the Havoc/Fury and Roy/Riza humor. But there are some positive things about this chapter, such as Al dumped Julie! Now, I know he didn't kill her, but at least she is gone and Al has seen what a- go on, you know she is- what a bitch she really is. Of course, now Alphonse knows Edward is in love with him. That might not be a bad thing, though, ne? As for Al's remark that he would never love Edward as Ed loves him...clearly Al is unaware of my intentions. But he shall discover that later on in the story. By the way! This is the halfway point, so I'm pretty sure everything goes uphill from here! Only four/five chapters left to go! Until next time- Rowan

P.S. There was one thing I had thought would happen in this chapter that ended up changing right at the last minute. Can you guess which scene I'm talking about and what I originally intended? I'll give you a cookie and a more speedy update if you do!

P.P.S. Longest chapter yet! 6,000 words! Woot! And thank you for all the support for this story from everyone! You are all the greatest ever!


	6. Futari wa aruki tsuzukeru

Disclaimer: Rowan tosses a coin into a wishing well and says, "I wish I had created FullMetal Alchemist! I wish Edward were mine!" There you have it: hasn't happened yet, but she's waiting patiently for the well to come through for her.

AC (Author's Claim): The OC in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Mr. and Mrs. Fury are my characters! Yay, some things here are totally and completely mine!

Note: This chapter also took a long time to write, but I am very proud that I managed to finish it in time for a Tuesday. If I had managed to keep with my original schedule, we'd be on Chapter Eight by now, but I'm sort of happy that I've been able to drag the story out a little longer than anticipated. For one thing, I get to enjoy it more, rather than rush through the story. Secondly, I finished the series on Saturday! I have now officially seen every single episode of FullMetal Alchemist. I'm sure that that has nothing to do with the writing of this story, but I just really wanted to mention that. But I will ask that you really don't leave spoilers in your reviews, just as a courtesy to other readers who may have not seen the entire series. Thank you, and on to Chapter Six!

**Darling**

Chapter Six- Futari wa aruki-tsuzukeru

It had been a few days since their argument and Ed yearned to speak to Alphonse. But he had restraint, he resisted, and so the days that passed went by in agonizing pain. Edward wanted to call him, wanted to apologize, just wanted to hear Al's voice, but was afraid that the mere sound of his breath would make him come. And how awkward that would be. So Edward had only his imagination and his taunting dreams.

Most nights, since Edward moved in with Fury- with Havoc almost as common a fixture as a toilet- the three ate dinner together, though some nights Havoc bribed Edward to forgo his supper so the couple could enjoy a nice candlelight dinner together. They didn't like going out in public, mainly because of the stares, but also because it wouldn't be fair on their friends if they saw them together before the couple revealed themselves as such. Anyway, it was much less complicated in the privacy of their homes. Edward didn't mind too much, especially since they were very mindful of Edward's presence at night and were kind enough not to proclaim too loudly their happiness. Not that Ed would have been envious of their luck, but it did remind him too much of another mating pair.

One evening, not too long after Ed's quarrel with Al, the three friends were sitting at dinner when Fury had the bad timing to announce that his parents were coming to Central that weekend and were staying with Fury while they were visiting, and would Ed mind sleeping on the couch those few nights? Not that Edward really minded, but Havoc, obviously not aware of this news, stared at Fury with incredulous wonder. Fury, at first, did not notice the look on his lover's face, until Havoc coughed loudly into his hand.

"Cain, if you don't mind, but when were you going to tell me this?"

Fury blinked at Havoc. "Um, well, just now, Jean."

"But…but…you're supposed to tell me these things first. Your parents are coming! That's huge!" said Havoc.

Fury frowned in confusion. "How is that? It doesn't affect where you're going to sleep."

"But it's your parents, Cain! I need a lot more time than this to prepare." Havoc's eyes were wide with his intensity.

"Prepare for what?"

"Well I'm meeting your parents soon, aren't I?" Havoc said. "I don't even think I'm mentally there yet, so we've got some work to do Cain. I mean, on our relationship, that is."

"...oh, right." Fury glanced away.

Havoc peered closely at his lover's face. "You're going to introduce them to me, aren't you?"

Fury laughed nervously, his face beginning to glow. "Uh, well..."

Edward watched with fascination the slow dawn of understanding come into Havoc's face, the blood running out of his cheeks. Havoc slowly stood from the table, his eyes hard as stone. Fury shrank beneath his shadow. "What, then, were you going to call me, Cain, if I'm not your lover?" he asked.

Fury turned his eyes down. "I...Jean, honestly I...I'm not ready for that yet. I...can't call you my lover..." He swallowed, knowing how weak his words were.

"Then what am I, Fury?" Cain flinched at his last name.

"...a...my friend."

Havoc closed his eyes as though in pain. "Well. At least you didn't say colleague." He walked over to the door leading out of the apartment.

Fury stood. "Jean-"

Havoc shook his head. "No, Cain, I don't want to hear it. I'm sorry you're so ashamed of me. But until you've figured out just what I am to you truly, I can't...I just can't be with you." Havoc turned his head towards the door, his hand resting on the knob. "I can't be your friend to the outside world, but only your lover in bed. I'm either one or the other, Cain. It can't be both ways." And with hardly a sound, he slipped out the door.

Edward stared at the door a moment, his mind not on the quiet split between his friends, but rather of Alphonse running away from him, motivated by anger and betrayed trust. When he turned his eyes to Fury, Ed felt he understood the icy look of pain on Cain's face, sure that beneath the mask of his outside face, he wore the exact same look.

"Fury..." Ed cleared his throat, and the man glanced over at him, his eyes blinking rapidly, as though he had just noticed Edward for the first time. "I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that was the wrong answer."

Fury nodded slowly. "I know, Edward. I just...didn't expect him to care so much."

"Do you think he'll come back?"

Fury screwed his eyes together, as though that would make Havoc reappear at the dinner table. "...I don't know. I think...," he shook his head. "No. I don't know."

* * *

Edward marveled at the control Fury had over his emotions the next few days. It was obvious to him how much Fury really cared about Havoc clearly he had not meant to say that he did not see Havoc as his lover, but rather that some things are said over the phone, or in a letter, better than spring it on his unsuspecting parents without the least bit of warning. But that also showed how little Fury thought of his parents, or rather he betrayed his fear that his parents would be reluctant to support their son. Edward didn't know Fury's parents, so he could not say if those fears were founded, or just a reflection of Fury's own uncertainty. He could tell, at home, when Fury was open, vulnerable, just how miserable he was without Havoc.

Three days since Havoc walked out on Fury, Edward saw him at headquarters, leaning against a pillar at the entrance, slowly smoking a cigarette. He was the image of carefree laziness, but Ed suspected that the only thing keeping Havoc from racing back inside and taking Fury back into his arms was the cigarette balanced in his hands.

As Ed walked past Havoc, he paused. Was he allowed to greet Havoc? Not that he cared much, but he was not part of their quarrel. Ed shrugged, and decided to forget it. Havoc had the appearance of one seeking solitude anyhow, and Ed would respect that.

But just as Ed moved past him, Havoc cracked an eye open and stood up suddenly, his air of calm thrown away like ashes from the end of his cigarette. "Edward!" he said, catching Ed's attention.

Ed turned around, surprised. "Yes, Second Lieutenant?"

Havoc coughed, then turned his eyes away. "Um…how's Cain?"

Ed frowned, then comprehension dawned on him. "Oh, Fury. He's…okay," he said, not sure whether that was the truth or just the lie that Fury himself wanted to believe.

"Really?" But the pain in Havoc's eyes told Ed that perhaps he wanted to hear how much Fury is suffering without him.

"…Well, he misses you, I think."

"Oh." Still unhappy, Ed thought. Did he want to hear that Fury wanted him back, that he knew he was wrong? Because Havoc would have to hear it from Fury himself, even though Edward knew that was how Fury felt. "Well, Ed, I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

Ed frowned, but nodded. "What is it?"

"...I need a place to stay for a few days." Havoc glanced away, his eyes dark with embarrassment. "I, uh, haven't been paying my rent because I was always at...ahem, well, basically, I've been kicked out of my apartment."

"I...I can't make that decision, Havoc. It's really not my apartment-" Ed paused, his brows furrowed. Well, how strange. It was a lie that the apartment wasn't his; he and Fury split the rent evenly between them, which gave Ed as much right to invite Havoc to stay as Fury had to invite his parents. But even so, the apartment was not 'home.' Ed shook his head. "I'm sorry Havoc, I was wrong. If you can't find any place to stay, then I suppose Fury will have to accept that you'll be staying with us."

Havoc gave Ed a shaky smile before he brought his cigarette back up to his lips. Edward nodded and then proceeded into the building. Of course he understood what Havoc was up to; he could just as easily have stayed in the barracks for a few nights, until he got his apartment back. Havoc just could not bear being separated from Fury, despite his anger with him. Just to be near him, to watch over him, and know he's okay...

Ed lifted his chin proudly. He was stronger than Havoc; he had restraint.

But maybe Havoc had the right of it. To hell with his pride.

* * *

Fury was outwardly furious with Edward for allowing Havoc to stay with them, but Edward could see inwardly the happiness, the joy, and the bitter regret that Fury truly felt at his former lover's presence. It was similar to that damning feeling he felt blossom in his chest every time he saw Alphonse. Edward resisted many times the urge to rant at the pair of men and tell them to get over their issues and make up, because their hesitancy was driving him mad. It was frustrating to understand everything and be unable to do anything.

The worst thing was the silence in the apartment. The first evening, whenever Havoc entered a room, if Fury was in there, he would silently leave, passing Havoc with a pained, martyred expression on his face. Edward watched this constant dance of avoidance, how graceful and silent they would pass each other, not a single moment of weakness or tiny glance into the other's eyes. They were determined to remain mad at each other. Though Ed postulated that the true anger each man felt was inwards, rather than to the man he loved. It was enough to make him scream from the pointlessness of it all.

And by the third day, the day before Fury's parents were supposed to arrive, Edward decided that his pride really could go to hell and tell the devil hello for him, because to stay in that apartment another moment with the pair of them, like petulant teenagers, would be the death of him. Well, he could always return once Fury's parents were gone and knock some sense into his friends, but distance, he felt would be the best thing for him. And perhaps, with Edward gone, the two of them would find their own way to reconcile. Perhaps having Ed around held their emotions in check. Edward figured that his absence was the next best to locking them in the broom closet together and leaving them in there until they sorted out their problems. There were too many problems in that plan, however, for Ed to try it out. So instead of devising a way to maneuver Havoc and Fury into the closet without arousing their suspicion, Ed called Sheska.

And got a dial tone. Either she had gotten herself buried again (which would mean Ed would have to go by later to dig her out) or she was out at the moment. Ed decided to go with the latter, and gave her two hours before calling her again.

"Hello?" a female voice, not Sheska, said from the other end of the line.

Ed frowned. "Lieutenant Ross? Where's Sheska?"

"Edward? I'm sorry, Sheska left a couple days ago to visit her parents and won't be back for another week. Was it really important?"

"Uh, no. But Lieutenant Ross, what are you doing over there?" Ed asked.

"I came to pick up some documents she finished copying before she left. Um, if you don't mind, Ed, but I have to get them back to the library as quick as I can, so..." she trailed off.

"Uh, yeah, no problem. Well thanks, Lieutenant."

"Anytime, Edward. Bye."

"Goodbye."

Edward placed the phone in its cradle and frowned. Well, that was no good. He had hoped he wouldn't have to, but picking up the phone, Edward called Al.

The phone was lifted from the cradle on the first ring, and Ed hesitated to speak. What if this was Julie again, and she hung up on him as she had before? He held his breath and waited.

"Hello, who is this?" Edward slowly released his air. It was Alphonse after all, but now for the hard part. Al had not forgotten Ed's comment about home, and he certainly was not sure if Al would even forgive him for what he said about Julie, even though it was true. Ed paused a second longer, then spoke.

"Alphonse? It's me, Edward."

"...oh, hello Brother. What is it?"

Ed dropped his eyes to the ground beneath him, the grey stone of the military headquarters. Below on the street, Ed could hear cars drive past and the world buzz by, but the only sound that mattered was Al's voice in his ear, so close and so far. "I was wondering if I could stay at your house for a few days. Fury's parents are coming for the weekend and I need a place to stay."

There was a moment of silence on the other end. Ed gripped the phone in his hand and held it tight to the side of his face. Alphonse wasn't that mad, was he? Edward prayed to hear something, anything, other than this torturous silence. Finally, Al spoke. "Brother, it's your home too," he said. Ah, so he hadn't forgotten. Well, okay, Ed thought, if he wants to call it my home, then I can let him do that. If that's what makes him happy. "But you can only stay here on one condition."

"What is that, Al?"

Al's voice was harsh, raw. "Answer me honestly. Do you love me?"

Edward froze. What...? Alphonse, how did he... "Of course I love you Al. You're my brother," Ed replied, his face stuck in a horrid grimace of a grin. He laughed, but nervously, transparent.

"Edward, you were right, Julie was just using me. All she wanted to do was write a biography on you." Al paused, let this new twist sink in, elate Edward for a moment, then horrify him with his affirming words. "I read her notes. Edward, be serious, I mean it." Edward could see his gentle face contort with sage seriousness. He gasped for air; he was drowning. And then, Al said them, the words that killed him.

"Brother, are you in love with me?"

* * *

Mr. and Mrs. Fury were looking forward to this visit to Central, to see their only son Cain again. Their last visit had been five months ago, and they had such fun, meeting Cain's friends and colleagues, and, Mrs. Fury recalled with a blush, the handsome Colonel who was Cain's commanding officer, Mustang. Mr. Fury glared at his wife at the mention of the dashing colonel. But both of them remembered Cain's good friend Jean Havoc with warmth. Such a nice young man, Mrs. Fury would say, Mr. Fury nodding. Decent, loyal fellow. Just the kind Cain could depend on to be there. Yes, Jean Havoc was a good man.

When Mr. and Mrs. Fury arrived at their son's apartment, they were surprised at how messy the place was. Well, compared to three months before, and Cain was so neat for a male, that surely the mess they saw in the salon- papers strewn about the table, coffee cup stains on the varnished wood- was the cause of another occupant. But where had Cain found such a disorganized young woman?

But then Cain entered the room on the way to the kitchen, dressed only in his boxers and a white undershirt. He started, then blushed bright red. By now, it was nearing noon. "Mom, Dad!" he exclaimed, and moved forward to embrace them. "I wasn't expecting you until this evening!"

"Were you planning on picking up later, Cain?" his mother sniffed, her eyes going to the mess on the coffee table in front of the kitchen.

Cain frowned in consternation, then realized she was referring to the piles of papers, magazines, and newspaper clippings on the table, and he shook his head, a look of slight irritation crossing his face. "I told Jean to clean up when he was done, but does he listen?"

"Oh, Jean Havoc?" Cain's father asked. "How is your friend, by the way?"

Cain opened his mouth to reply when a voice from down the hall called, "Oi, Cain, who are talking to?" Cain's eyes went wide. The voice was distinctly male and distinctly came from his bedroom. Cain began to blush.

"Oh!" his mother exclaimed. "Does Jean live with you now, Cain? I thought that was only temporary."

Cain laughed shortly. "Well, you know, we decided it was cheaper if he just stayed here and we split the rent..."

"So Jean is giving his room up to us while we stay here?" Mrs. Fury said. "That's very kind of him. I always thought Jean Havoc was such a good young man."

Cain turned bright red. "Actually, you'll be staying in the guest room, Mom. You see, Jean-" but before Cain could finish his sentence, Jean himself appeared in the doorway, his eyes half drooping with sleep. He too was dressed in his boxers, but he'd been too lazy to pull on a shirt, so Cain nearly fainted with embarrassment when Jean appeared beside him.

Mr. and Mrs. Fury stared in silent surprise at the two young men. Mrs. Fury was the first to speak. "Cain, I suppose this...I mean...I'm confused."

Cain burned red shame. "Well, you would have found out eventually, but I suppose now's as good a time as any. Mom, Dad, Jean is my boyfriend. We've been dating for nearly a year now." Their eyes grew large as plates. "I should have told you before, but I didn't have the courage. I hope you can forgive me?"

Cain closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to face his parents'...whatever reaction they could possibly have, rage, disgust, shock, whatever it was could not be worth watching. But then he felt the soft arms of his mother encircle him around his shoulders and, opening his eyes, watched his father shake hands with Jean, a benevolent though confused fatherly look on his face. And his mother whispered that while she wasn't sure what to say, as long as he was happy...

And, Cain was.

* * *

"...and I tell you, pregnancy suits her. She practically glows now. But, you know, I just don't know how I'm going to handle it if she has the baby tomorrow. Emotionally, I mean..."

Edward sighed in boredom, but he still could not hold back the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He supposed it was a testament to their friendship, but who would have guessed that, when it came to fatherhood, Roy and Maes would be exactly the same? It was heartwarming to Ed, to listen to Mustang gush over the baby, and at the same time sad, for it reminded him of Hughes. Though this was now the fifth time that week that Edward had to listen to Roy's bubbling-over excitement. If he didn't change the subject soon, Edward would seriously consider doing Roy's child a favor and saving it from having Mustang for a father. (Of course, he thought this all in good jest; he would never really do anything to Roy.)

Alphonse was in the kitchen preparing lunch for the four of them- Riza was resting in hers and Roy's bedroom, at her husband's insistence. Down the hall, Al could hear Roy talking Ed's ear off, how beautiful Riza was, how wonderful children were, and...Al frowned. What would Roy do if the baby was...he shook his head. "I don't mean to interrupt, sir, but babies can't be born after just five months!" Al shouted down the hall, then turned his attention back to his sandwiches.

There was a pause in the flow of Roy's rant, but a second later it started up again. "Jeez, doesn't your brother realize I'm only joking?" But Roy was laughing; he knew that Al was half-joking too- only half, because there was a part of Mustang that wondered just what he would do when the baby finally was born.

Edward was laughing too. "You know, Colonel, you are just like Hughes. Who would have thought that married life would turn you into your best friend?" There was the slightest trace of sorrow in Ed's voice; so slight that only Al's ear could catch it. Over the past five months Al had come to remember a time when he had been so attuned to his brother's emotions that he didn't even need to see Ed's face to know just how he looked; the simplest inflection in Ed's voice told Alphonse all he needed to know about Ed's mood. He wondered sometimes how it was for Edward. Did he know Al's voice so well that the merest fraction of a change in it spoke volumes of his emotions? Or was it beyond the moon of that? Could Ed see a single hair in the middle of a haystack and know Al had been there? What was it like to love that way? Al wondered, but did not know.

He picked up the tray of sandwiches and walked down the hall toward the living room.

"You know, Edward, Maes was right. Married life liberated me in a way I cannot describe. I cannot imagine life with Riza, without having that special bond of marriage tying us together, bonding us together forever. And this baby, our baby, is the result of that bond, a representation and result of it, and so I can say with confidence that this baby will be beautiful. Because...because how could it not be?" Alphonse smiled sadly at the thought, sad for Edward, who would never understand. Alphonse wished on that moment that Edward would understand that feeling Roy had described, despite and beyond his love for...his brother. Al shivered as the moment passed and continued walking down the hall.

"So, Edward, is there anyone special in your life yet?" Roy asked just as Alphonse walked over the threshold. Edward could feel Al's eye's on the back of his stiff neck. Both brothers were frozen by the question. They knew the answer, standing right in front of them, something they had promised each other never to discuss, because that was just something that was easier to ignore than fight face on.

Edward grinned. "Nope, no one," he said.

Roy's eyes were wide. "You're kidding, right FullMetal? You don't have a girlfriend yet?" Edward shook his head. Al stepped forward and placed the tray on the table between Roy and Ed. Mustang glanced up at Al as he stepped away. "What about you, Alphonse? Anyone since Julie?"

Al shook his head ruefully. "No, I've been too busy for a girlfriend," he said, but he saw Ed look away from him. They knew the reason Al wasn't dating, and Ed felt guilty anytime the subject came up. Not that it was Ed's fault that Al felt guilty, hurting his brother whenever he showed interest in someone. Alphonse just felt too terrible doing that to Edward.

"Well, I'll go bring Riza her lunch. There's a pitcher of lemonade in the kitchen if you guys want something to drink."

"Thank you, Al," Roy said with a grin. Edward tried to smile as well, but his mind was distracted and his eyes stared over Al's shoulder.

Al returned to the kitchen, grabbed Riza's sandwich, and made his way down to the other end of the hallway, where Riza rested propped up on the pillows. The curtains on the window were thrown back, sunlight flooding in and covering the room with a soft shimmer. Riza's face was turned toward the window, her face pale but glowing in the sun's rays, a faint smile playing on her lips. Roy was right, Al thought. Pregnancy had turned Riza Hawkeye into a woman conscience of herself.

At the sound of Al in the doorway, Riza turned her gaze away from the window. Alphonse hesitated at the piercing, sharp look in her eyes, then approached the bed, placing the plate on the table beside the bed. "Hello, Hawk-, erm, Riza," Al said, still not used to the fact that she was no longer Hawkeye, but Mrs. Riza Mustang. And though she insisted that they call her "Riza," neither brother was quite used to that.

Riza smiled. "Thank you, Alphonse. How are you, today?"

Al sat in the seat by the bed. "Not bad. It's good to get away from work, once in a while. And you, how are you doing?" Al nodded at the bed and Riza chuckled.

"Roy insists that I get plenty of rest. To be honest, I feel slightly cooped up in this house, but I don't want to worry Roy, so I stay in bed to humor him." She smiled as only a woman could smile, tolerance for her man's idiocy mingled with love for that silly authority. Alphonse grinned back.

"Say, Hawkeye, I-" Al blushed at that slip, but Riza waved her hand as if to say she forgave him that lapse of memory. "You know," Al observed, "it's strange. I always knew that you loved Mustang, and that somehow, you two would marry one day. But the way Roy used to be with the ladies back in those days, I don't know how I could have been so sure. Isn't that odd?"

Riza shook her head. "No, I know what you mean, Al. I never doubted in my mind that Roy loved me, even when it seemed like he never could. But in the end, he does love me, and to be honest, I never lost hope that he would." She laughed, the round sphere of her stomach moving up and down as she did so. "Perhaps that makes me the strange one, huh?"

Al frowned in thought even as he smiled at her confession. "But what made you so confident that he would love you? How could you be so sure?" he whispered. He wasn't thinking of Riza as he asked, though, but of someone else, of someone that, thinking this, his heart grew heavy with sorrow. He didn't want Edward to hope as Riza hoped, to believe as Riza had.

Alphonse hated causing Edward sorrow.

Riza glanced down at the white sheets covering her legs. "I'm not sure, Al, what made me so confident. I think it was just the strength of my love that convinced me to hold on to hope. I mean, I loved him so much; how could he not return those feelings?"

It was what Alphonse feared the most. "I suppose...you were really lucky, Riza, that Mustang didn't end up hurting you instead."

"Yeah," she said after a moment. "I suppose I was."

* * *

The entire drive home, Alphonse found himself lost in thought, contemplating Riza's words. Would Edward hold on to hope as she had and allow this terrible, horrible, fascinating love to fester like a wound within his heart? Alphonse wouldn't bear watching such love eat Edward up, the monstrous feeling growing within him until neither could stand being in the same room together- Ed for fear of succumbing to the deepest, most dangerous pent-up desires within his heart, and Alphonse for fear of submitting to them out of pity. Then they would drift, until Al's heart grew so heavy from guilt that he would seek his brother out and pretend that the guilt that drove him was love instead. But one day Alphonse would meet someone and love her with all his being and Edward would realize that all that time Al had been living a lie, and then...then Ed would realize his hope had betrayed him, clouded his vision. And then what? Because Alphonse would not leave his brother, because he did love him, but he would wilt with misery, and Edward would finally let him go. And would Al abandon his brother...but Al shook his head. He was letting his imagination run away from him, and none of that would happen. Instead they would always skirt around the subject, the fact that Ed loved Alphonse _like that_. And both would be miserable, but nothing more. Nothing would come from nothing, and Alphonse had no love like that to give.

And the fear that Riza was right, that the strength of one's love was enough and that Alphonse could possibly love Edward that much? It would be a lie to say that thought had never crossed Al's mind.

But he tried not to dwell on it.

When they entered the house, Edward disappeared into the library and resumed the book he was currently reading. Alphonse, silently, went into the kitchen and began to prepare dinner.

As Al watched the water in the pot begin to boil, he reflected on the past five months. The call from Edward had come about a week since he'd gotten rid of Julie, a week where Al had sat in his library, questioning, doubting what he'd read in her notebook. He'd pored over every reference to Edward in his books, to find some clue, something that would refute what he would later confirm as undeniable truth. But he found no answer in his books, instead finding confirmation of his fear in every memory of Edward. There was nothing in the world more important to Ed than Alphonse himself, and though they'd known many women in their journeys, none had managed to capture Edward's attentions. Yet whenever Al needed him, Edward came running to help him, willing to drop everything for Al. And what about that time when Ed had declared that, with a word from Al, he would purposefully fail his State Alchemist examination? Everything had pointed to the inevitable conclusion: Alphonse was the sun in Ed's sky, the apple of his eye, his everything.

And then the call came, and Ed needed a place to stay for a couple of days. Who knew that what Al said would come true, that this place would become home for them? For even when Julie had stayed there with Alphonse, there was something missing, something that only made it his house. But having Edward there in their house somehow made it home, like the one they'd burned in Resembool so many years ago.

However, Edward could only stay at the house if he answered Al's question. He knew it would be difficult for Ed to hear, especially over the phone, especially because, if it were true, it was a secret he'd kept for many years that he would have to reveal. And with a weighted, "I am," Edward verified what Al dreaded to hear. But despite the truth, Edward was still his brother, and Al allowed him to stay.

It was...Al wanted to say that it was never weird between them, that they were able to overlook Edward's feelings, but that would be a lie. Yes, they never discussed it since that phone call, and when Edward arrived later that afternoon, they acted as though everything was the same, but there was an unspoken distance between them now, an agreement to avoid contact, when before they had been so much more open with their brotherly affection. Neither of them could pretend that those feelings were still hidden away, buried somewhere within Edward, because it was out there now, like a silent specter living in the house with them, hovering over the table at dinner, residing within the bindings of books, waiting under their covers when they went to bed.

Yet over time, things began to grow normal again. They developed a routine, an order of doing things, that domesticized the ghost living within them and helped exorcize the spirit from the halls of their home. At times, Alphonse allowed himself to forget completely what kept them still at such a distance. But there was always something there that would provide him with a rude awakening, a reminder that nothing between them would ever be normal again.

The water reached a boil, and Alphonse poured the pasta into the welcoming water. Mindlessly, thoughtlessly, he finished cooking the sauce and the pasta, then laid out the table in the kitchen. Leaving the simmering spaghetti on the stove, he went to get Edward and try to tear him away from his novel.

When Alphonse entered the library, he found Edward sleeping, his book resting open on his chest. Al smiled at his slumbering brother, who looked so innocent as he slept. His face relaxed and his mouth was turned up in a tiny, content smile. Al picked up the book and placed it on the table beside the armchair, then brushed a stray hair out of Ed's eye. It reminded him of the time, so long ago, when he'd been a suit of armor, clamoring behind Edward across the country. Edward had acted so grown-up, but of course, they were both only children and had to look after each other. Ed, always the more reckless one, would often get himself into many parlous situations, though Al got into many of his own scrapes as well (but that, Ed argued, was due to Al's stupidity. But he paid for those comments; it is not wise to insult a seven-foot sheet of metal.) Alphonse found himself watching over Edward a lot in those days though, not just when Ed got himself into trouble (for he usually managed to get himself out of that) but when Ed forgot the time with research, it was Al's responsibility to see his brother ate and got his rest.

How is that any different from now? Al wondered silently as he brought his hand back from Ed's soft face. Without realizing it, his fingers had fallen to caressing Ed's cheek, the skin there soft and smooth, delicate beneath the tips of his fingers. A small, frightened smile tightened Al's lips. Once, he had longed for nothing more than to touch that face and feel the warmth in that cream-colored skin. And now...? Strangely, Alphonse felt those old desires, from his armored days, rise full-blooded into his chest, twisting his heart into a tight knot and blocking the natural flow of air in his lungs. Yes, there was a time when Al had longed to cover that face with kisses, to place his lips against his brother's smirking lips, and pay him thanks in love.

Slowly, Alphonse lowered his face toward Edward, until his quiet breath tickled Al's flushing cheeks. This was crazy, what was he doing? Al thought even as he moved closer still, until his mouth hovered over Ed's mouth. And closer still, until Al's wide eyes could see each individual lash on Edward's eyelids. Closer, and their lips were touching; Alphonse was kissing his brother, softly, gentle, and his eyes were beginning to close, because what if Edward woke up? Al watched and waited for a moment, his lips glued to Edward, frozen, hesitating. But nothing happened, and Al closed his eyes and, imagining for a moment this was...this was...but the only face that came to him was Edward, and yet he continued to kiss him, drove closer even. What was he doing, what was he thinking...was he insane? Probably, who could say?

But the fact of the matter was, Alphonse continued to kiss Edward. And then, Edward woke up.

Chapter Six- The two of us must keep on walking

So, I'll first address the matter of that scene from last chapter: it was the one between Edward and Mustang, and I originally was going to have Edward confess his feelings for Al to Roy. Only when Ed turned around did I realize that Ed would never do something like that! So to everyone who guessed that scene, here is a cookie! As for the "speedy update," I think this was a little sooner than last chapter (I think.) But I promise that I will not leave you guys hanging on this scene, waiting to know what happens next, for long! I know I said something about uphill, but...well, we'll just have to see about that, won't we? Well, at least this chapter was a little more uplifting, imo, than last one. Edward's back in Al's house again, Julie's gone, and, to verify that you really did read right, Alphonse kissed Edward! Ah, you say, why did he do that? Well, be patient, and I'll tell you in Chapter Seven! Until then- Rowan

P.S. For the person who leaves the lengthiest review for this chapter, Rowan will owe you an FMA one-shot of your specifications once "Darling" is complete. This is to encourage you all to say something- anything- about this other than "It was good. Update." This is Sakura, promoting healthy reviewing.

P.P.S. Somehow, each chapter is longer than the preceding one, and with this chapter it's no different. Once again, past the 6000 word mark!


	7. Ato ni wa modorenai kara

Disclaimer: Rowan tosses a coin into a wishing well and says, "I wish I had created FullMetal Alchemist! I wish Edward were mine!" There you have it: hasn't happened yet, but she's waiting patiently for the well to come through for her.

AC (Author's Claim): The OC in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Julie Hakuro is my character! Yay, some things here are totally and completely mine!

Note: Yes, you read right. Julie is back again! Oh, what in heavens is Rowan thinking? Well, for me, it was nearly essential to bring her back, and I hope you see why once you read this chapter. Oh, but I'm very proud of myself. This only took a week to write because I really wanted to finish that scene from Chapter Six! Yay, this was a quick update! Though I'm not so sure about this chapter, I still love it anyway. Now, on to Chapter Seven!

But before I start, let me just thank everyone for the reviews this story has received! Yeah! Darling has hit 50 reviews (which, for me, is always a landmark.) As for the "longest-review" thing from last chapter? Well, Tiama wrote the longest review (but all the reviews were wonderful.) So email me please with what you want your one-shot to be! I will write that as soon as Darling is completed. Thank you! Now...onwards!

**Darling**

Chapter Seven- Ato ni wa modorenai kara

Edward's eyes fluttered open to eyelashes and Al's mouth pressed against his. For a moment Ed almost let himself fall back asleep, but it was too late; Alphonse felt the difference between Ed asleep and Ed awake and had already pulled away, his grey eyes dark and frightened. Edward gasped, and brought his metal hand up to cool his hot lips. "Alphonse."

Al turned his face away, his cheeks blushing. "I...I'm sorry, Ed," he whispered, not sure what he was apologizing for. He'd kissed his brother. But wasn't that what Edward had been wanting all this time?

Looking up, Al saw Edward wipe his mouth off on the back of his gloved hand. "Don't _do_ that," he said quietly, his golden eyes staring up at Al with fire.

"What? Why not?"

Ed stood up from his chair, his eyes glaring up into Al's. "Don't think I can't read you, Alphonse. You kissed me, but not because you suddenly realized you're in love with me. That was some kind of experiment, a test to see how much you could take." Al blinked, afraid because Ed had seen right through him.

"But-" Al protested, his voice weak.

"No!" Edward yelled out in a sudden rage. He flung his arm out and pushed his book to the floor. "You can't tease me like that, Alphonse! It's bad enough that I want you to kiss me again, but if I let you, if you kiss me, but you cannot reciprocate my feelings, then you're only letting me hurt myself."

Alphonse turned away from Edward, ashamed. "I...realize that, Brother," he whispered, "and I apologize for hurting you. I was just...curious."

Edward glanced up, a wry grin on his face. "Yeah, well, you know what they say? 'Curiosity killed the cat.'"

"Why is it cats, though?" Al speculated, unconsciously changing the tense dynamics of the room. He crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side in thought. "I mean, I'm sure curiosity could kill dogs, too. And mice. Or rats. Or people. Yet the saying is about cats. Why is that, Brother?"

Edward straightened and playfully pushed Al back. "It's so fools like you can sympathize," he said.

Al sniffed. "Cat-people are not fools. Cats happen to be very smart animals."

Ed frowned. "I like dogs better. They obey you; cats are uncontrollable. You can't make them listen to anything," he said.

"Yes," Al said, laughing at the serious expression on his brother's face. "They remind me of a certain person I know." Edward looked up at Al from the corner of his eye, asking the question with his sharp gaze. "Maybe that's why I like cats so much."

A faint touch of pink colored Ed's cheeks as he turned his face away again. Edward, seeing his book lying on the floor, bent down and picked it up and placed it back on the table. When he looked back to Al, the moment was gone, and an uncomfortable silence was forging a chasm between them. Ed coughed into his hand, bent his head down and let his bangs cover his eyes. "Well, um, promise to never do that again?" he asked softly.

Al hesitated, then nodded. "I promise, Brother." He didn't add "unless I form feelings for you," because he _had_ promised, and that meant everything. No getting Ed's hopes up for nothing, which really meant that he was hoping for something, a faint hope like the flicker of a flame before it succumbs to the darkness. Oh, and Alphonse wasn't that cruel to add fuel to that fire, but rather let it die quietly, and maybe, maybe Edward could move on.

Edward strode over to the door suddenly, walking quickly past Al. "Say, I smell pasta. That wouldn't happen to be dinner, would it?"

Al turned to Edward standing in the doorway, his nose directed toward the kitchen. Once again, that look of innocence graced the profile of his face, his eyes closed, his face eager; it was the same expression that Alphonse had come to treasure in his brother, and at that moment he found himself almost wishing to love Edward and fulfill his seemingly hopeless desire. But instead of stepping forward and...what? Kissing Ed again? Instead of that, he simply nodded. "Yes, it's time for dinner. I set the table already, so all you have to do is eat."

Edward turned, a joke in his eyes. "Oh, so was that why you..." he paused, his mouth open in mid-sentence, but without finishing his phrase, Edward proceeded into the kitchen, throwing behind him a , "Good, because I'm starving!" as he went.

Alphonse paused a moment, picking up the book Ed had been reading and finding the page Edward had left off at. It was a collection of poetry, which was surprising because Edward seemed too...concrete for such things. But Al supposed he deserved a break from all his alchemical texts to something more whimsical, once in a while. The particular poem Ed had left off at was about waking, but waking to your lover, and not wanting to leave.

What was the rest of Edward's question? Al wondered as he followed his brother out of the room. "Was that why you came to wake me?" probably...but maybe he really wanted to say, "was that why you woke me like that?"

And if it had, what would Al's answer be?

* * *

The call came on a weekend, while Edward was out shopping. Al was in the library dusting the books when he heard the ring. He took his time to answer it though, finishing the shelf before he walked into the hall and lifted the phone from its cradle. "Hello?" he said, expecting to hear Roy's euphoric voice exclaiming over Riza and the much-anticipated child. So when he heard the familiar voice of Julie Hakuro, Alphonse nearly dropped the phone.

"Hello, this is Julie Hakuro. May I please speak to Alphonse?" she said in her overly polite voice. But she didn't know that Ed was now living with Al, so that was probably out of habit.

"…Speaking," Al replied softly into the phone. His voice was dangerously cold. "What do you want, Julie?"

"Alphonse," she breathed. "It has been a long time."

"Not nearly long enough," he replied. "I thought I made it clear that I want nothing to do with you. What is your purpose for calling me?"

Julie sighed, though it seemed a sad one rather than exasperated, as though she were sad that she had hurt him. As though, somehow, she regretted it. "I'm still going to write that book, Alphonse. You may have burned my notes, but I haven't forgotten. Like I could ever forget that how your brother loves you is wrong."

Al frowned. "...So. You're writing the book. I expected as much, but why tell me? Why not just write the damn thing already? The suspense is killing me more than the criticism we'll get after the book is published. For you know they'll just assume that Ed and I are involved in a forbidden affair."

"..." There was a dumb pause and Al wondered for a moment if she had hung up on him. But then Julie's voice returned, quiet, in his ear. "I know that, Alphonse. Why else would I call? I'm warning you. Forsake your brother now, so no one will think such horrible things about you. Don't let Edward ruin your reputation, just because he has feelings for you!" Suddenly, Julie was pleading with him; this was not the same woman Al had known, had loved. This was one desperate, driven by her irrational emotions rather than rational thought. But why was she so upset? Because Alphonse stood up for his brother? Because he had chosen Ed over her? Because even she did not understand own her motivations?

"You don't have to write that book, Julie," said Al calmly, though even he was shaken by the emotion in her voice. "You could do the right thing and leave us alone."

"But Alphonse-"

"No, Julie, hear me out. Why are you so determined to ruin our lives? Do you hate Edward that much?" Alphonse shifted the phone to his other hand and leaned against the wall. "You know, Julie, when you first met my brother, it seemed as if you admired him. Yet once you discovered his secret, you decided that it was your duty to ruin his reputation. Why?"

"Because I have nothing else, Alphonse!" was her immediate reply. Al stood up, his back leaving the wall in surprise. "There is nothing left for me to do but write, because you took everything else from me!"

"...I?" Al gasped. "What do you mean, Julie?"

"I mean...oh, curse you," she muttered, surprising Al all the more. "I mean, there is nothing that I care for now. I lost you, and...and I realized, a few months ago, that I made a huge mistake. But you would not take me back; you made your choice and you chose...your brother, Edward." Her voice curled as she said Ed's name, the disgust visible to Alphonse. "And that's why I want to ruin his life, Alphonse. Because he took you away from me! Because you love him...more than you will ever love me!" Julie's voice cracked, and Al, frozen, could feel her tears on his own face, those his cheeks were dry. "You might as well be in love with him, Alphonse, because no one will ever be able to come between the two of you!"

"That's...not true..." Al said.

"Oh, fuck you Alphonse. You and your naïveté. You can't even see it yet, but your devotion to your brother will always hold you back in relationships, and no girl will want to share you with Edward. He will be your loneliness in your old age; he will be why you never find your special someone." There was a bitter laugh from Julie, but it was so much not Julie that Alphonse wondered if this really was her. "I'm just glad I got out when I did." She sounded so...derisive, almost...crazy. "Whatever. Do whatever. Like I give a damn anyway. And I don't. I don't care what you do. I'll write that book; I'll write it and I'll make you both suffer for it. Then you'll understand just how much...how much I hate you!" A loud clang announced the end of the conversation, and Al, shaking, slipped the telephone back into its cradle on the wall. Then, dazed, he walked into the kitchen and sank into a seat at the table, staring into space.

* * *

It was in the kitchen where Edward found Alphonse, a blank, worried expression on his face. Dropping the brown food bags on the counter, Ed poked Al in the shoulder to rouse him from his meditation. "Hey, Al, what's wrong?"

Alphonse glanced up and blinked in surprise. "Oh, Ed! When did you get back?"

"Just now. What's the matter, Al? You were gazing off into space, and you looked really worried. Something bothering you?"

Al turned his head away. "...Julie called today."

Ed sat abruptly in a chair beside Alphonse. "Oh. What did she have to say?"

"She said she's going to write that book. She wanted to tell me so that I could abandon you before it comes out, denounce you as family so that her book won't burn me too."

Ed grinned. "That it? That's what had you so worried?" Edward laughed softly. "Don't worry, Al. She won't be writing that book."

Al jerked his head up. "What? Why not?"

Ed shrugged, that familiar cocky look on his face. "I'll sue. I will make it impossible for her to publish that book. I mean, there's no way they would print a nonfiction biography about me without my consent."

Al was amazed at how calm Edward was acting, as though everything would be alright for them, book or no book. How could he be so nonchalant, when Al was sweating bullets over the mere prospect? But Edward was so easily enraged that it was odd to see him so cool and collected now, as though everything would solve itself. How was that possible?

"But, Al, I think something else is bothering you," Ed said, breaking into Al's reverie. "There's something you're not telling me."

Al jolted up, his face flushed and embarrassed. "...there was something Julie said that...unnerved me."

"What?"

"...she said that my...devotion to you would prevent me from having other relationships."

Edward frowned. Then he stood and paced the room, once, twice...and when he started to walk around the room the third time, Al had to cry out for him to stop. "You're making me dizzy, Brother!" he said. Edward paused and glanced up in surprise.

"I'm sorry, Al. I was just...thinking."

Al nodded. "Yes, yes. About what?"

Edward walked over to the counter and began to unload the bags. "It's something I've been thinking about for a while, actually, and this call from Julie just solidifies it in my mind." Pulling out a carton of eggs, Edward stuck his head in the fridge and said, so his voice was barely audible to his brother, "I think you should start dating again."

"Excuse me?" Al asked, half in disbelief and half from hoping he heard wrong. "Did you just say I should start dating again?"

Ed straightened his head out of the refrigerator and nodded solemnly. "Yeah, Al, I did." But Edward's eyes were not happy.

"Why!" Al exclaimed, standing up from his seat. "Brother, isn't that the last thing you should want?"

"Why is that, Alphonse?" Ed asked with a serious smile. "I want you to be happy; I don't want to hold you back. Yes, I will be...jealous," Ed admitted, "but it's what you want to do, right? You miss girls, don't you?"

Al bent his head down. "I..." But to be honest, he wasn't sure what he wanted. Did he really want a girlfriend again? The pain of Julie's betrayal still stung, but it was something more than that which held him back, kept him from dating again. Perhaps it was the pain in Edward's eyes whenever a beautiful face caught Al's attention, or when a girl would flirt with Al. Perhaps he was scared to lose Edward again to that jealousy which had driven him from their home the first time.

Perhaps it was the prospect of losing that- the sense of home- that scared Alphonse the most. Because what was home without Edward?

Yet Alphonse voiced none of these thoughts, instead nodding slowly. "Well, I don't really want to get into a relationship again, but…I suppose you're right. I should…start dating again."

Ed nodded. "That's right. You were hurt by Julie, so it makes sense that you wouldn't want to get back in a relationship, but dating just might take your mind off her betrayal." For some reason, Al noted, Edward seemed to think his brother was upset by Julie's phone call because he still felt hurt by her. It wasn't that though; at least, not really.

"Brother, I…" Al began to say, but trailed off, not sure what it was he really wanted to say.

Ed looked over, a puzzled look on his face. "Yeah, Al?"

Alphonse stared up at him for a moment, in silence, wondering what it was that made him sad when he looked at Edward. Guilt? Maybe. He looked down at the kitchen table. "…nothing."

* * *

So Alphonse began to date again, though one girl melted together with the next and the next, so on until three weeks had passed and Edward was growing frustrated. It was bad enough to see Al go out every other night, nicely dressed and ready to impress some girl with his charm and beauty. It was worse, because Ed was the one encouraging it!

Alphonse, meanwhile, could not understand his own mind. Why was it so hard to date now? Before Julie, dating had been fun: the prospect of someone new, someone different, for him to impress, to charm, to woe. But now Al viewed it as a chore, a promise he made to Edward to give his life a bit of normalcy. The whole situation demonstrated the amount of guilt Ed felt for holding his brother back, burdening him. Yet Alphonse never had blamed Edward for that in the last five months, only wishing to make up for his careless inconsideration for his brother's feelings. Alphonse hated that, thinking over every kiss he and Julie shared in front of Edward, how he hurt him each time.

In part, that was why Alphonse now could find no joy in dating. The women hadn't changed; they were all still friendly, pretty, intelligent, even interesting people to hold conversations with. No, it was Al who had changed, for always in the back of his mind was the haunting, harrowing image of Edward's sad, wistful eyes every time he went out on a date. And it wasn't even so much that Alphonse felt guilty for the pain he caused Edward, but because, each time he went on a date, it felt to him like he was...cheating.

Cheating! No, impossible, why would he feel that? He could never really think that dating other girls was a form of cheating on Edward! Agh, no, Alphonse thought. No way. Never. Im.poss.i.ble.

It wasn't like he was in love with Edward. His brother had many faults and flaws, and was too proud to admit to them (unless it was to Teacher, before whom Edward was eternally humble- even when he tried to give her attitude.) As a brother, he loved Edward unconditionally, but as anything else, well, Alphonse had standards. Alphonse was going to marry, eventually, and it would do no good to consider _that_ cheating either. So he forced himself to continue to see girls, though never the same one.

And maybe that was because, whether he liked it or not, there was a heavy feeling inside his heart that told him that what he was doing was...wrong.

Yet three weeks had passed and finally Al threw in the towel. "Brother, I give up," he said one evening, standing in the library door and glaring at Edward. "I don't want to go on another date. I can't."

Ed looked up from his book. "But Al, why not? Surely you must have seen one girl who interests you?"

Al shook his head. "Not really. I'm just not..." Al frowned. Well, to say he just wasn't in the mood to see girls would probably scare Edward, but to say he was tired would be worse. "I'm just not ready yet," he finally said, playing off of Ed's belief that he was still upset over Julie.

Edward got the message. Putting his book down, he sighed and stood. "Oh, Al, I know it's hard, but give these girls a chance. You may," and no matter how hard it was for him to suggest it, Ed somehow managed, "you may just find your future wife."

Al scowled. "I don't want to find my wife right now. Can't you accept that I'm happy without a girlfriend? That I don't need one?"

"Al, why are you being so stubborn?"

Alphonse clenched his fists. It wasn't fair for Edward to accuse him of being stubborn; he was doing this mainly to keep his promise to Ed in the first place. And it wasn't as though he wasn't trying, he really was, but somehow...somehow he just could not enjoy it, their company. "I'm not being stubborn, big brother! I just don't want to date right now!" Al shouted in frustration. "It's all your fault, Brother!"

Ed's jaw dropped, taken aback. "My fault? How-?"

Al screwed his eyes shut, tears of anger and confusion beading at the corner of his lashes. "It's your fault I can't enjoy dating anymore! All! Your! Fault!"

Edward glared. "What do you mean, it's my fault?" he said sharply.

"I mean that since you came back, I can't...I can't...I don't like girls anymore!" Al covered his face with his hands, horror striking his face a clammy white. "What have you done to me?" he whispered.

"I...Al?" Edward muttered, falling back into his seat. "You really blame for that, huh? 'What have I done to you,' indeed." Shadows ate up his face. "I suppose it would be better if I just left, then?"

Al looked up at Edward from behind his long pale fingers. "Yeah, I think so," he said back, bitter. Bitterness eating him up inside.

Ed stood up again. "Fine, if that's how you feel."

"Fine!"

"Fine! I'll leave!"

"Good riddance!"

"You guys need to get laid."

Ed and Al, now face to face, their cheeks red, their eyes narrowed, glanced at the doorway where a puzzled Mustang smirked at them. Both took a step back and looked down at their feet.

Roy stepped forward, a look of concern on his face. "What's this about, FullMetal?"

"Nothing," Ed muttered. "We were just...arguing. It's...nothing."

Al glanced up at Roy and frowned. "How'd you get in here, Colonel?" he asked.

"Oh!" Roy turned to Al with a smile on his face. "The front door was unlocked. And you two were so loud, I could hear you from the porch."

"What did you hear?" Ed asked softly, his voice cautious.

Roy shrugged. "Nothing really. Just shouting."

Ed sighed. "Oh."

Al rubbed his eyes ruefully, then smiled widely. "What did you come over for, Colonel?" he said cheerfully.

"Mustang asked me to do some research," Ed replied. To Roy, he said, "I'll go get the notes." Nodding at Roy, Edward quickly left the room.

Alphonse stared at the ground, still embarrassed that Mustang had walked in on them arguing. Oh, if he had heard what they were yelling about too, that would have been worse.

But, Al thought, what had he meant when he told Edward that he no longer liked girls because of him? Alphonse had been searching for the words to explain his frustration, and those had just sort of...come out. Was that really how he felt? Al thought to himself. Was he really upset because he...

No! No! Impossible...could not happen.

He liked girls. Of course. That was just a...slip. A sign of his anger; he was so upset he did not even know how to explain himself properly. He hadn't meant it, though. Girls were the best! He loved girls!

But even thinking that did not settle that bubbling feeling in his stomach, the one that said if he had to spend another evening with a girl he would hurl.

Alphonse cursed himself.

"Here you go, Colonel," Ed said, handing a file to Mustang when he returned a moment later.

Roy nodded and was about to leave but paused and stared at the pair of brothers for an intense moment. They were so solemn, Roy wondered what that quarrel had been about. Then, laughing, he said, "I'm serious! You two need to get laid!" Roy slapped the file against his hand, though there was no need; he had their full attention. "You're coming with me tonight. Neither of you will go home alone- and if you do, at least not sober."

"But-" Al began to protest.

"No, no protests. I won't hear of it," Roy cut him off. "The reason you two were arguing with each other is because you feel cooped up in this house. You need to get out and have fun! Enjoy life!"

"And by enjoying ourselves you mean have meaningless sex and binge drink?" Edward asked.

Roy glanced at Ed for a moment, then dropped his research notes on the table and grabbed them both by their collars. "For tonight, yes!" he said as he dragged them out of the house and dumped them in the backseat of his car.

And the only thoughts running through their minds was that marriage had given birth to Maes Hughes all over again, as Roy effectively kidnapped the Elric brothers.

* * *

"He left us here." Edward watched as Roy drove off down the street. "I can't believe he just left us here!"

"And with all this cash!" Alphonse exclaimed, now slightly woozy after three drinks. He fanned the money in front of Ed's face.

Edward's eyebrow twitched. "This has to be illegal. There must be some law that forbids leaving me alone with a drunk minor!"

Al frowned. "Hey, I'm almost twenty-one, Ed. I'm not that young."

"I know, I know," Edward grumbled under his breath. As Al began to totter, Ed grabbed his arm and steadied him. "Come on, we might as well go in. I'm not going to stand out here all night."

Edward dragged Alphonse inside the restaurant and sat them down at the table. Ed then took the money Al held loosely in his hand and tucked it in his coat pocket. Al pouted. "But Ed, I'm hungry."

"You'll throw up if you eat," Ed snapped, not in the mood for Alphonse to start acting like a teenager. After Roy dragged them out of the house, he took them to a bar and tried to encourage them to pick up girls. And by encourage, Roy meant to booze them up a bit first. Unfortunately for Al, who was gullible, he really believe Mustang when he told him it was just really foamy apple juice. Edward, who knew better, refused anything to drink. Al, however, drank three pints of beer; he only stopped when he complained about his head hurting. Roy then tried to coax Al to approach a girl, but she immediately started flirting with Mustang. Alphonse did not seem to care and Ed pointed out that, with Roy around they were less likely to meet anyone, because Roy was married.

He never imagined that Mustang would abandon them in the middle of nowhere to "try their luck."

Edward clenched his fists and glared at a spot over Al's head.

"Hey, Ed, I don't feel too good," Al muttered. "My head really hurts and my stomach feels all sloshy."

Edward sighed. "Do you want to go home, then?" Al nodded. "Okay, I'll get us a cab." Edward stood and Al tried to follow, but the effect of the alcohol was taking its toll on his coordination and Al slipped to the floor. Edward patiently helped Alphonse to his feet, then let Al lean on him as they left the restaurant. Hailing a cab, they made their way home, Alphonse resting his head on Ed's shoulder.

When they got home, Alphonse was nearly asleep and Edward had to carry him inside. Ed made slow progress to Al's bedroom, where he dropped Al on top of his sheets. Sitting beside him on the bed, Ed wondered if he should get Al into his pajamas or leave him in his day clothes. He reached a hesitant hand out to the top button of Al's shirt, but he drew it back after a second.

"This is stupid," Ed mumbled, standing up. But he didn't leave the room, for Alphonse looked so peaceful as he slept. His lips were parted slightly, his hair swept over his forehead and across his closed eyes. It was hard to imagine arguing with that gentle face.

Edward sank back down beside his brother. What did Al mean when he said he didn't like girls anymore...because of him? Surely he hadn't meant it that way; perhaps he got no joy out of it because he...felt guilty? That sounded more like Alphonse, who would blame himself for Ed's jealousy.

"Oh, Alphonse, if only you could...but no." Edward shook his head. "Don't you see? The more you date now, the more girls you go out with, the easier it will be for me when you finally get married."

"I'm not getting married, Edward," Alphonse slurred, startling Ed.

"Al! Y-you're awake?"

Al smiled a little and cracked his eyes open. "I'm not getting married, brother. And I'm not dating any more girls either. I can't." His voice was thick, but his words came out more distinct than before.

Edward frowned. "Why not, Al? Y-you heard me, didn't you?"

Al nodded sleepily. "Yeah, but...I can't. I love you."

"What!" Edward gasped, falling off the bed. Ed scrambled back up to his feet. "What did you say, Al?"

"I...love you," Al said, sitting up. His eyes were drooping, but his voice was determined.

Ed laughed nervously, his eyes watching his brother sadly. "Oh, Al, you don't mean that. You don't even know what you're saying." Edward pulled the blanket out from under Al and tucked him in bed, but Alphonse pushed him away.

"I'm not a baby," he mumbled stubbornly as he tugged the blankets out of Ed's hand and wrapped them around his body. "And I do too know what I'm saying. I said I love you, and I do."

Ed's eyes grew full with sorrow. "But you don't Al. Now cut it out and go to sleep." Edward turned to leave.

Alphonse grabbed Ed's arm. "But I really do love you, Ed," he insisted, his words melting together, but still distinct enough for Edward to freeze. "That's why it kills me to see you so sad," Al whispered.

Edward turned around. "What do you want me to do, Al?" he asked in defeat.

Al released Ed's wrist and scooted over in the bed. "Stay," he said simply.

Ed hesitated for a moment, but then Al smiled, his eyes now beginning to close. "Please," he muttered. Gently, Ed lay down on the edge of the bed and when, a moment later, he felt Al's arm encircle his waist, Edward felt a small smile pull at the corners of his mouth.

"Just don't regret this in the morning, okay?"

Al nestled his head into the back of Ed's neck. "Mm...promise."

"Good night Al." Ed sighed and let his eyes fall shut. "...love you too."

Chapter Seven- Because we can't go back

This was shorter than some of the other ones. Only five-thousand words. But Chapter Eight, I think, will be quite full, so I'm excited to get started on that! Yes, there are at least two more chapters (and a possible epilogue at the end.) Just what do I have planned next? You want to know, don't you? As for this chapter, Julie's back and she's bitter! Edward asked Al to start dating again (even I doubted that scene, but...it sounded good in my head.) Be glad that, for the last scene, I did not really slur Al's words. "'I lofu, Ed...'" Oh, goodness, I cannot even imagine. But the main idea of this chapter...gosh! Could Alphonse really be in love with Edward? And what happens in the morning? Heh heh...on a separate note, I calculated the approximate time that has passed so far, since chapter one and, disregarding the "four years later" bit, it's been nearly a year since Edward came to Central. Eleven and a half months, to be precise. And that is something I want to address- because it will come up soon. Winry and Kenneth have yet to get married. Yet Roy and Riza got married within two months? Well, I explain that by saying...um, they didn't want to make a big fuss about it? I guess so...speaking of Riza, I cannot wait for the baby to be born! Any guesses as to whether it's a boy or girl? I already know, and I have the name picked out too, but speculation on that is more than welcome!

Alrighty! That's all I can think to say right now. Oh, do you think the story is taking any sort of positive progression? I'm afraid that the whole thing is filled with angst...yes, I apologize for the kiss at the beginning, but it was necessary! Well, the last scene was cute, right? Ignore any angsty foreshadowing...heh. Edward, why am I so cruel to you? See you in Chapter Eight! Until then- Rowan


	8. Ima demo kono mune no oku

Disclaimer: Rowan tosses a coin into a wishing well and says, "I wish I had created FullMetal Alchemist! I wish Edward were mine!" There you have it: hasn't happened yet, but she's waiting patiently for the well to come through for her.

AC (Author's Claim): The OC in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Julie Hakuro is my character! Yay, some things here are totally and completely mine!

Note: This is not being updated on a Tuesday, and thatis because of two things: 1- a huge project in my history class took up all my time and so I only just finished this chapter; and 2- I won't be updating next week. I'll be away, and so won't have the opportunity to write chapter Nine. However, that will be up o the 18th, which also happens to be Rowan's birthday! Speaking of Nine, that is the official last chapter of this story, so that means **Darling** is nearly over! Ten will be more of an epilogue than anything else, but I anticipate the epilogue being very _long_, so I'm sure you'll all enjoy that. Meanwhile, on to Chapter Eight!

BTW- Before we begin, remember that longest review thing? Well, **Tiama**, since I can't contact you, please contact me, because you won! Oh, my email is: whitedragon0235 yahoo. Com- without the spaces, of course. Alright, on to the chapter! Enjoy!

**Darling**

Chapter Eight- Ima demo kono mune no oku

It was raining hard and Julie had forgotten her umbrella at home, but she did not mind the raindrops falling upon her, plastering her clothes to her skin. She thought briefly of turning back, in case she caught a cold, but a moment later dismissed the idea. What was the point anyway? she thought bitterly. What did it matter if she got sick? Nothing was worth nothing, and since she'd lost Alphonse, everything was nothing to her; everything but him, and he loathed her now.

"But it's all my fault anyway," she muttered under her breath as she continued walking down the street. It was the time just before dawn; the sky above the buildings was turning a dusky grey, the sunlight fighting to get through the heavy storm clouds crowding the sky. A futile battle, she thought, and yet there was the sunlight just beyond the clouds and if she peered hard enough, she could imagine the sun was shining on the distant horizon. But Julie bent her head down into her chest, her eyes on the wet pavement at her feet, as she drudged down the street.

Soon, she stopped before a shop, into which she cautiously stepped inside. A bell rang above her head and a rather sleepy young man stepped up to the counter at the end of the tiny store. Julie approached the man, her clothes hanging like wet laundry off her thin body.

"Good morning," the man greeted her when she was close enough. He wore a smile on his face, either glad to see another human being, even one as bedraggled as Julie, or he was paid to be friendly. Julie did not care, nor did she even notice. "How may I help you?"

Julie sagged against the counter, leaning her elbows on the wood, her soggy hair dripping on the surface. "I need the cheapest bottle of wine you have. Nothing fancy; I don't even care if it's good. Just as long as it has alcohol in it."

The man frowned at her. "Are you sure that's wise, miss?" he asked her kindly, a touch of concern in his otherwise fatigued voice.

Julie snapped sharp green eyes at him. "I don't care if it's wise or not; just do your job and get me some wine!" The man jumped at her shout and hurried into the back of the store. Julie scowled after him, tapping her fingernails impatiently against the wood counter.

The man returned a moment later, carrying a bottle of red wine. "Here you are, miss," he said, setting the bottle on the counter. He calculated the price and she handed him the correct coinage. As he placed the green bottle in a brown bag, he paused and scrutinized Julie closely. "If you don't mind my impertinence, miss, but...do you plan on drinking this?"

"Of course I'm going to drink it!" she exclaimed. "What else does one do with wine?" The man shrank back from her short-temper. "Now, if you don't mind, I would like to get going, so..." She indicated the brown bag in the man's hands.

"Oh! Here you are," he said, handing the wine over reluctantly. "Pleasure doing business with you. Good morning!"

Julie grunted in response, grabbing the brown bag at the neck of the bottle and sweeping out of the place, her red hair following behind, leaving a showering of sprinkles. She left like a soggy butterfly.

It was still raining outside, though the sky had now brightened to a brighter silver and somewhere, Julie imagined, the sky was bright with color. But like her heart, she probably would not be able to see them anyway. Quickly, she made her way back home.

The apartment was well-furnished, everything had a place. There was no dust to sneeze at here, and yet it had the air of loneliness. Only someone as lonely as Julie would find the time to keep the place neat.

The only amount of chaos in the apartment was at the table in a small room adjoining the kitchenette. At one end, the end of prominence, sat a typewriter, and surrounding it, an army of paper. Some were blank, some had words swimming across the white surfaces. Julie set her bottle of wine at the other end of the table, pulling the damp bag off the green glass. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a goblet from her cabinet, returning to the other room and placing the glass beside the wine.

Slowly, Julie brought her hand to the cork at the top of the bottle. Hesitating a moment, she let her fingers trace the top of the cork, then set her mouth in a thin line and gripped the cork tightly in her fingers. Gently, she coaxed the cork out of the mouth of the bottle, pulling it out with a resounding pop. Julie lifted the bottle, placed the top against the lip of the goblet, then paused and set the bottle back down on the table. She glanced down at herself, at her bare toes on the cold wood floor. She walked over to the typewriter and ripped out the page half-written. She scanned the sheet and scowled, then crumbled the page into a ball and dropped it on the ground. Julie picked up the papers spread out on the table and stacked them together in one pile, placing it neatly beside the typewriter. She smiled bitterly.

Julie then crossed back over to the bottle of wine, her green eyes intensely fixed upon it. But it seemed as though her eyes were looking through the bottle, past it to some distant vision. As she drew closer, her reflection appeared against the verdant glass, the unfamiliar surface contorting the shape of her body. Her eyes met her strange shadow's eyes, and they grinned bitterly. But it was as though she did not see herself, for she frowned, glared at her reflection, at whatever it was hiding behind herself. Her hand reached out and grasped the neck of the bottle, her knuckles growing white as she clutched it in her hand.

"What a foolish woman I am," she muttered, her eyes darting suddenly to the typewriter on the other side of the room. "Damn you, Alphonse," she whispered bitterly, then lifted the bottle in the air and flung the wine at the typewriter. The bottle sailed above the machine, wine spilling over the white pages as it flew, then crashed into the wall behind it. The red color stained the paint like blood, like some wretched thing had exploded from the inside against the wall. Julie stared at the stain for a moment, triumphant, but then her eyes shattered like the glass shards scattered across the floor, and she too crumbled to the ground, her body bent within itself, as she began to sob.

* * *

It was the sound of the rain outside his window that roused Alphonse from his sleep. Blinking, he slowly accustomed his eyes to the dim light creeping over the windowsill. He sighed. Al hated rainy days; they made him feel cooped up inside. He closed his eyes and rolled over, deciding that there was no way he was getting up now, but that rainy weather meant sleeping in.

Only there was a something wrong about his bed. As Al rolled over on his bed, he felt something hard under his shoulder. Glancing up, he saw the blonde tangled braid hanging down Ed's back. Al blinked, then realized he had rolled onto Ed's automail arm. His sleep-veiled mind did not question why his brother lay beside him in bed, but rather lingered on the arm under his shoulder.

Al moved back to his previous spot on the bed, his back to the window. In the faint amount of light that streamed in through the glass, he could vaguely see the outline of Edward's metal arm. This was the arm that Ed had sacrificed to keep Alphonse with him, even if it meant trapping his brother within a suit of armor. It had been a selfish act rather than one out of selflessness, for Al knew that Edward was willing to give up much more than simply one arm to keep his brother with him. Yet Alphonse had never seen it as such, for while he hated the clunking body that was both his anchor and his prison, he never blamed Edward for his existence. Back then, it had been just good enough to be with his brother still, to know he was there to watch over him. With all the trouble Edward got himself into, it was comforting for Alphonse to know that he was there to help him.

Al brought his right hand to Edward's silver one, and gently placed their palms together. Reflexively, Ed's fingers clenched Al's hand, but it was so gentle the way Ed grasped it that Al barely noticed the cool fingers resting against the back of his hand. Al lowered his head down until his breath tickled the tiny hairs on his knuckle. He smiled softly, sadly, fearfully. He recalled the time he had accused Edward of creating him, his memories, his identity, and how Ed had been so afraid to tell him something…how what he feared to ask him was whether Al blamed him for the existence Ed had given him. Al shook his head. No, he had never blamed him for that, could never blame him for that; there was no room for all the gratefulness within him.

But Al had a fear too. Was there any time that…did Edward ever…regret losing his arm in exchange for his soul? Did he ever glance down at his automail arm and wish that his real arm was there instead? Al knew that sometimes he would look at Brother with his metal limb and wonder how he could possibly be worth that. Especially remembering all the pain he had caused Edward…unwittingly, unknowingly killing him from inside. Would it have been easier for Edward if he had died that day, easier down the road for Ed to fall in love with someone else? For all Ed had sacrificed- his arm, his childhood, and his heart- would it have been better for him? Ed might be married to Winry right now, and they would name their first son after him, and their daughter after their mom, and they would be living happy lives, no military, no Philosopher's Stone, no yearly check-ups trekking all the way to Resembool. No heartache, no sorrow, no death.

Sometimes Al imagined life would be like that, if he had never been pulled back from the Gate.

But he liked life the way it was now, even with all the pain, the sorrow, the frustration. Hughes was dead, but Al was here and Al had Edward, and Al had life, and slowly Al realized that he even had happiness. There was a reason home would never be home without Edward there. It was probably because Alphonse loved him…

Al pulled his arm back suddenly and moved to the edge of the bed, his eyes wide. Wait, wait, he thought. That's not right, I can't love Edward! He shook his head, then flipped over so his back was to Ed. There is just no way, he denied to himself. Once, long ago, he had had a boyhood crush, but that's all it was! A crush, a crush, a crush! Nothing more...and he was over that now! He was nearly twenty-one and could no longer blame any of these thoughts on hormones...unfortunately...

Al shook his head. No, no, it had to be the growing pounding ache behind his eyes, clamped to the back of his head that made him think such things. Like he could ever...he could ever...but Al gave up, exhausted. It was all bull shit anyway, and Alphonse was a very bad liar.

Al rolled onto his back, his grey eyes staring up at the dark ceiling. So, he loved Edward? He asked himself. Obviously, when he said love, he meant _that kind_ of love, but...it was such a strange and sudden thought...well, no, maybe not even that. Alphonse knew there was a reason why he could not concentrate while on dates, his mind constantly going back to the heart-breaking look in Edward's eyes every time Al left. There was a reason his heart fell at the sadness in his brother's eyes, the grief, the pain, the restraint. And Al could not deny that sometimes he dreamed...often he dreamed...oh, but what did dreams mean? They would say more about Al's lust than true heart feelings.

The rain was beginning to thin, and yellow spears of light fell to the carpet below the window. Al blinked up at the brightening ceiling, his face red. So...he was in love with Edward. Was he?

Al glanced over at his slumbering brother, whose golden bangs fell across his shut eyes. He seemed so peaceful, so free of trouble; he could have been a little sleeping angel, the gold strands of his tangled hair glimmering in the sunlight looking like a halo hanging about his face. Al smiled, felt tempted to kiss that sweet young face, but resisted. Still, he was not sure. His heart swelled as he realized that only he had ever seen this side of Edward; this Edward was his and his alone. The thought sent a shiver down his spine. Al turned his face back to the ceiling.

Was he in love with Edward? Al felt that he was and felt the desire to make Ed's dreams come true, but hesitation, uncertainty kept him from waking him. What if it was just a fleeting feeling? What if this was sympathy? Or worst, what if Roy had been right, and all Al needed was to get laid? That this was just lust? He couldn't let Ed's hopes up, then.

Al nodded. To protect his brother, he would just have to hold onto these feelings- whatever they were- until he was sure or not, until certainty told him to tell...or to let Edward on with healing.

Al looked back over at Ed. He was unusually attractive when his eyes weren't glaring at him, or sighing with sorrow. Al reached his hand out to brush the hair out of Ed's face, then leaned softly over and kissed his closed eyelids.

Suddenly, beneath him, Edward began to stir. Al panicked, flew back to his side of the bed and pretended to still be asleep. His heart was racing, though, and he feared that Edward could hear it. That was so close, he thought as he tried to calm his breath. Al steadied his racing mind, opened his ears, and listened.

Edward seemed dazed as he sat up in bed, groaning as the sun hit his eyes. Glancing over, he saw Alphonse beside him, gently sleeping. Ed smiled at his brother's innocent face. But the day was beginning and, reluctantly, Ed realized he would have to wake him. He did not look forward to Al's reaction, knowing, just _knowing_, that Al would forget everything that had happened. He just hoped his brother would not kill him for sharing his bed.

Ed leaned over Al and shook Al's shoulder. "Alphonse. Time to wake up."

Al's eyes opened halfway, and Al glanced up at Ed. He smiled and closed his eyes again, then suddenly jolted up in bed and their foreheads bumped together. "Ow!" they cried in unison, Edward moving away from Al, each nursing their head, but Al with a terrible look of agony on his face.

"S-sorry, Al," Ed muttered.

Al looked up at Ed on the other side of the bed. "B-brother! What are you doing here!"

Ed winced, hurt. He knew it. "Y-you…you don't remember anything from last night, do you?" he asked.

Al blinked, his face blank. "Huh?"

Ed shook his head, his face covered with reserved gloom. "Oh…nothing." But Al's mind was racing. What happened last night? he wondered. He hoped he hadn't said anything…or done anything…that he really ought not to have done. Al lifted his head to speak, when-

"Um, when I said you guys needed to get laid, _this_ was not what I had in mind."

Ed and Al swung their heads toward the door, where, once again, they were surprised to see Roy leaning on the frame. They blushed and scooted even further away from each other.

"I-it's not what it looks like!" Ed squeaked.

Roy smirked. "Well, no, I didn't think so," he said, walking into the room. Under his arm, he carried a dripping brown package. Al's eyes focused, curious, on the bundle and Roy, seeing his eyes on the package, laughed and laid the soggy thing on the night table beside him. "I came over to see how successful you two were and found that thing on your doorstep."

"Who's it from?" Ed asked, getting out of bed and leaning over the parcel. "Oi, Al!" Ed glanced up, his eyes wide. "It's for you."

"Me?" But that made sense. Not too many people knew that Edward was living with him...Al blushed. Suddenly, the idea that Ed lived with him, that the too of them lived alone together, and the idea that it was some sort of secret sent a shiver down his spine. Fear? But it felt more like a thrill of excitement. Al shook his head quickly and got out of bed too, walking around the foot of the bed and joining Roy and Ed by the table.

Picking the package up with care, trying not to get the wet wrapping on his wrinkled clothes, he untied the twine and pulled the paper off, only to find a large bundle of papers. On top of the white pages was a tiny note, the words starting to run together, but on the whole, readable. "There's a note," Al said, placing the stack of damp papers on the table again. "It's from...Julie."

Ed's eyes snapped up, them darted over to the pile on the table. "Do you suppose...she finished it already?" he whispered.

"I don't know..." Al replied. He handed the letter to Ed. "She doesn't say."

Roy frowned at them. "Julie who?" he asked Al. "Finished what? What's going on?"

Ed read the letter, then handed it back to Al. He turned to Roy, a grim, worried- no, scared- look on his face. "Julie Hakuro. Al used to date her...a while back."

"Julie Hakuro!" Roy exclaimed. "General Hakuro's niece?"

Al nodded. "Yeah. Why?"

Roy stared at Alphonse in incredulity. "Haven't you heard? Hakuro's niece is pregnant! It's been a huge scandal throughout Central these past few months!" Roy glared suspiciously at their blank faces. "You guys _really_ don't get out, do you?"

"Julie's...pregnant!" Al gasped. "H-how long?"

"Six, maybe seven months. Why?"

Edward looked sick to his stomach; Alphonse had paled sheet white. "She's...that's..._my_ child," he muttered.

Roy blinked at him. "What?"

Alphonse brought his hand up to his face, then dropped it carelessly on top of the stack of papers on the table. His round eyes fell down, unseeing, upon the pile. Slowly, his grey eyes focused on the pages beneath his hand. "This..." he whispered. "Her novel?" He turned the top page and scanned the page below, then skimmed over the next few pages feverishly. "But why did she give it to me?"

Edward could not stand the white look on his brother's face any longer. "Alphonse-" he called, reaching his automail hand out to Al's back.

Al straightened suddenly, as though from a trance, and peered over his shoulder at Ed. "Brother...?" Alphonse kept his eyes on Edward's forehead, not able to bear the look in Ed's eyes. "I...need to go." Al frowned in thought. "Yeah." He picked up the manuscript and, nodding vaguely at Roy, left the room.

Edward scowled at the door, then turned away when the front door closed with a click heard barely over the water dripping outside the window. Roy watched him curiously as Edward made the bed, pulling roughly on the blankets and pounding the pillows into shape with his iron fist.

Laughing, Roy sat down on the freshly spread blanket. Edward glared at him, but seeing the easy smile on Roy's face, relaxed somewhat and sat down on the other side, his back to the Colonel. "FullMetal, what was that just now? You looked so...jealous." His smile slid down his face a little. "Is it because...you are in love with Julie Hakuro?"

"No!" Edward said too quickly, turning his head around to face Roy. His eyes were wide and wild. "I mean," he said more slowly, "it's not that. I just...Julie used Al, that's all. It's upsetting that she hurt him, still has the power to hurt him." Ed's shoulders sagged and he sighed. "That's all. Just being overprotective, I guess."

But for some reason, Roy was not inclined to believe him.

* * *

Alphonse ran the few blocks to Julie's house. Chances were, even five months later, that she still lived there. The papers under his arm struggled to fly away in the wind, so Alphonse hugged them to his chest and sped up his tripping feet. He needed to know…to know… but thinking slowed him down, so he bent his head, bit his lip, and concentrated on his feet on the wet pavement.

In a moment he was there, standing on her doorstep, knocking on the door. There was a hollow feeling behind the door, but Al didn't care, didn't bother to think, only pounding harder on the door, begging for her to be there. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to say, only that he would know when she opened the-

-door. Al dropped his fisted hand and swallowed when he saw the shadowed green eyes peering through the crack in the opening of the doorway. The eyes blinked, and Al blinked back. "Julie?"

Julie stepped back and pulled the door with her. "Alphonse?" she whispered, her eyes puzzled. "Come in."

Julie stepped away from the door and as she turned, Al saw her stomach, like a melon, hiding under the vast tent of her dress. He sighed and followed her inside, the manuscript clenched to his chest not forgotten.

They passed through what appeared to be the study, and Al winced at the reminiscently gruesome stain on the white wall, reminding him of a particularly rainy night a long time ago. Julie let him through the room to the other side, into a cozy but sparsely furnished parlor, the tawny colored armchairs and the mahogany table between them taking up most of the room. Here, Julie collapsed into a chair, her brown sprinkled with sweat, her hand massaging the small of her back. Al remained standing, thrusting the rain-spattered manuscript in her face.

"Are you going to publish this or not?"

Julie stared at the paper in Al's hands, and slowly she broke into a bitter giggle. "So that's why you came. You're not worried about me or your baby…you only came for Edward." She tore her face away from the pages and turned it towards the floor. "I should have known better."

Al frowned at her. "You left this on my porch. Why? Isn't this your only copy? Or are you telling me that you've finished it already?"

Julie shook her head. "I…couldn't bring myself to finish it. I…" She stood and walked over to the window filled with grey sky. "I couldn't bring myself to hurt you."

"Why not?"

"Because…" Julie smiled and placed her slender hand on her round belly. "Because I love you, Alphonse."

Al shook his head and tossed the manuscript on one of the chairs. "It's the baby that makes you think that. You don't really love me, you only think you do."

"What do you know of it!" Julie shouted, spinning around suddenly and glowering at him. "What do you know about anything? You don't even know what love is, Alphonse! And you know why? You know why you can't understand a…" Her eyes were wild, yet they held within their depths a clarity that astounded Al.

"All right, why can't I understand?" he challenged when she didn't speak.

Her lips trembled. "You can't understand the love of a woman because you're in love with Edward. You love your brother and always have. I…" She looked back out the window. "I didn't think until now, but…but you do."

Alphonse shivered, then glared and pushed Julie around to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?" he said, voice sharp with denial. "I don't-I don't…I couldn't…" he looked away, thoughtful.

"You do," Julie whispered bitterly. "And for that alone I could finish that book, but…but I love you too much, Alphonse. I do not…want to see you hurt. I thought that revenge on the both of you would make me happy, but if you are happy…even without me…" she stepped back, her eyes on Al's shoes. Suddenly, she began to laugh, hysterical sob-like laughs. Al looked up, his eyes grazing over her expansive girth, that thing that was his…his child. Julie watched the wonder in his eyes. "You know, I wanted to kill this baby. I thought about throwing myself down a flight of stairs, or drinking exorbitant amounts of wine so that the baby would be deformed." She paused, a tiny smile on her lips. "However…at least, I can give you life, Alphonse. I can be useful to you. I could give you a strong son, or a lovely daughter whom you will love more than you could ever love her mother. I can give you…what no one else will."

Al swallowed, his eyes huge with the thought of fatherhood. "Could I…when the child is born, will you let me...see him?"

"Oh!" Julie thought for a moment. "Well, I suppose so, Alphonse. I mean..." she looked away, a blush on her face. "I'd get to see you then, wouldn't I?"

Alphonse nodded. "I...yeah, I guess you would."

She smiled. "That would make me happy."

Al bit his lip and turned his grey eyes down. "And Edward? Could he come too?"

Julie stiffened and moved away from Alphonse. But Al's eyes shone and she knew how proud Al would be and...wouldn't she get to flaunt it then? Something Edward could never have with Alphonse. "He... is the baby's uncle," she admitted. Al grinned at her. Julie inwardly scowled at her weakness.

Alphonse walked over to the discarded manuscript on the armchair, lifting a few scattered pages that had fallen on the floor and placing them all in a neat pile on the nearby table. "So, Julie, why did you give me your manuscript, anyway?"

Julie shrugged as she eased herself into the other chair. "I had nothing better to do with it and...I thought it would be a good way to tell you that I was not going to publish the book. Didn't I say that in my letter?"

"Perhaps, but the whole thing got soaked, so all I could read of your note was your name at the bottom. That's why I came here."

Her eyes narrowed. "Meaning, of course, that had you known what the package meant, had you not had doubts of my intentions, you would not have come."

Al opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated. "...I also just found out about the baby..._my_ baby."

They were silent a moment, the ring of possession in the air. Then, Julie raised her head and spoke, a mere mutter of a sound. "Alphonse?"

"Yes?"

"Will you be a father to our child? I know I cannot expect marriage, but...don't abandon your child?"

Al smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, Julie. I won't leave him." Alphonse knew what it was like to grow up fatherless. "The question is, where will the child live? With you, I suppose, but how will you support the both of you? Of course, I could help out, give you money and the like, but even I don't make that much..."

Julie frowned in thought, then her eyes lit with an idea that made her turn her head towards the floor. "Our child could...always live with you, Alphonse. You and Edward," she said reluctantly.

"What?"

Julie lifted her head. "State Alchemists...they make good money, do they not? If you and Edward...raised the child, there wouldn't be any financial problems." She sighed. "I don't like the idea, but it would solve that problem. And...it would make you happy, wouldn't it, Alphonse."

Al walked to the threshold, his steps agitated. "L-let's talk about this some other time. Thank you, Julie, for not publishing that book. And...take care of yourself, for my child's sake." And then he left, and Julie felt like crying.

So she did.

* * *

"Riza! I'm back!" Roy called loudly as he and Ed entered the house. Roy strode into the living room and over to the couch, but it was unoccupied and his face fell. "Riza, where are you?" Edward, standing in the middle of the doorway, wondered how he allowed Mustang to kidnap him.

Well, no, he knew that. Roy, convinced at least that Edward was useless when it came to women, and Roy, realizing that his skills as a womanizer would never rub off on Ed, decided that Ed should get the advice of a woman (though he had offered to set Ed up with a few of Roy's "acquaintances." Edward coolly declined.) So Roy dragged Edward back home with him to get some advice from Riza. But apparently, Ed noted, Riza was nowhere to be found.

Edward glanced down the hall, curious as to where Hawkeye- for she would always be Hawkeye in his mind- really was. Roy was too busy circling the couch to use his common sense.

A door at the end of the hall- the bathroom door, to be precise- opened just as Ed glanced down that way, and Riza paused as she tried her hands on the towel, staring blankly at Ed. Then, blinking, she smiled and came down the hall. Ed smiled back.

"Edward, I can't find her! She must have sunk between the cushions!" Roy's panicked cry suddenly bursted from the living room, and Riza crossed her eyes at the sudden exclamation. Walking quietly passed Edward, she stepped up to Roy, smirking playfully down at him as he stuck his head behind the sofa cushions.

"Roy, what are you looking for?" she asked after a moment. Mustang sat up suddenly and grabbed Riza around the knees.

"There you are, Riza! I thought I lost you!" Roy pulled away and stood up, his face furrowed with a worried frown "Where were you, anyway?"

"…I had to go to the bathroom, Roy." Her tone was serious, but her smile gave her away.

"Oh." Roy sobered, now that he knew where Riza was Ed recognized him again as the calm colonel he had come to loathe…and befriend.

Riza kissed him on the cheek and the settled back onto the couch, Roy bending over and tucking the blanket over her lap. Reverently, he placed his hand on her belly and glanced up into his wife's bright eyes, then kissed her and stood back up. Edward, feeling awkward, stared at his feet, and tried not to feel too jealous of them. Not that he was jealous so much as he wanted what they had, but wanted them with Al. Regret, more like, and sorrow, and a tiny fluttering wish like a bird caged within his chest.

The moment was broken and Ed was rescued from the ocean of his thoughts when he heard Roy say his name. "Riza, I want you to help Edward. He's no good with women, so we thought you might know…something, that could help him in the slightest?"

Riza glanced at the door to Ed, who unconsciously blushed and tilted his head down. Hawkeye had the certain quality to her that made him feel she could read his mind.

"Well, I'm no expert, but I'll try to help, if that's what Ed wants."

Ed shrugged. "Thank you, Hawkeye."

She smiled. "You can call me Riza if you want, Ed. I'm not in the military anymore, so there's no need for to be so formal."

Edward pulled up a chair nearby as Roy left the room. "I forgot. Habit, I guess."

"I understand." Riza leaned back and studied Ed for a moment. "So, Edward, you wanted some advice?"

Ed nodded, then shook his head, then nodded again. He sighed. "I'm not really concerned about…dating. It's not something I want to do, right now. I just came to humor Mustang."

Riza shrugged. "That's what you say, but I'm not so sure I believe you, Edward. You think you're a good liar, but you're really not. Well, at least not with your friends." She tilted her head to the side in concern. "What s it that's bothering you?"

Ed shook his head. "Nothing, honest. I-no, nothing."

"You love someone? Afraid to tell them, perhaps?" Edward glanced up quickly at the womanly intuition in Riza's eyes. Pregnancy, Ed decided, did strange things to women.

"What makes you say that? You sound as if you know, but you're wrong, Hawkeye. There's no one."

Riza was quiet a moment, and Ed wondered, as she stared at her toes, if he had spoken too harshly, gave anything away. He was affronted to think that she knew he was lying, and tried to prove to himself that he could lie, that he could hide his emotions. He was good at it by now; at least, he ought to be.

"Alphonse, maybe?" It was an internal whisper spoken aloud, a question in Riza's head that Ed heard, and feared, and shivered when she asked.

"No, it's not-" Ed shook his head quickly. "Why would it…?"

But that look was in Riza's eye again, the one that said she could read his mind, and his heart as well. She knew, Ed thought. She _knew_, and she knew he was still, even now, denying it to himself, even when he knew Al was the only one for him.

She nodded, as though to confirm his racing thoughts. "I know, Edward." Her eyes, soft, were also sad. "And I don't want to give you false hope, but is there anything wrong with loving someone if you love them purely?"

Ed bowed his head. "'Pure' isn't exactly what I'd call it," he admitted.

"But it's true, is it not? You truly love him, for all the reasons there are in the world to love a person, you love him. Why shouldn't that be pure?" Riza smiled. "And why shouldn't he love you for loving him? That's what worries you, Edward. Am I right? You're afraid he hates you for loving him. But all we want in this world is to be loved."

"Hawkeye, I-"

Riza laid her head against the side of the couch, her eyes half-closed, as she listened to the sound of Roy in the kitchen, probably making tea or coffee, the kettle only now beginning to whistle. "I think Roy was surprised when he first realized that someone in this world loved him. And so fiercely, too. I don't think he ever expected so much affection, devotion, or loyalty."

"But Alphonse is so easy to love. Everyone-" Ed protested, knowing that the hope he never wanted was blossoming under Riza's words.

"But he probably doesn't expect so much love from you. I'm sure he has times when he thinks that you…regret him."

"What!" Edward exclaimed, heat in his heart protesting such an idea. "I'd be nothing without Al! How could he ever think that?"

"The heart does funny things to us, makes us think irrational, stupid things of the people we're most afraid to lose. It's so, in the end, we don't get hurt. Though, we don't realize that those walls are usually what pushes them away in the first place."

Ed thought for a moment, then turned and walked out of the room. "Thanks Hawkeye," he said, pausing in the doorway as he left. "I think…I needed that. Promise you won't tell anyone?"

She nodded. "Promise."

Chapter Eight- Even now, deep within my heart

You know, I was less cruel than I imagined it would be. The scene when Al wakes up was totally **not** what I expected would happen. I really wanted him to freak out. This way was better though, don't you agree? Another interesting thing I noticed I wrote this chapter was that everything that happens occurs in one morning, while Chapter six covered five months. My favorite thing about this chapter, I think, was writing that first scene with Julie and the wine bottle. Speaking of, the stain on the wall is a allusion to episode seven/eight, when Scar kills the chimera of Nina and Alexander. I'm not sure if Al says that specifically, but that's why it unnerved him. Oh, and Julie is pregnant! I bet none f you saw that coming, did you? So, what ever is Rowan going to do in the last chapter? I'm excited that I actually got this far with the story; that makes me so proud that I will actually finish this story! Thank you all for the reviews; it makes me so happy that, of all my stories, this one has the most hits (and by a lot, too!) Thank you all, and until next time- Rowan


	9. Kesenai tsumi wa itamu kedo

Disclaimer: Rowan can only draw Edward's left eye. And that's on a good day.

AC (Author's Claim): The OC in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Kenneth Morgan is my character! Yay, some things here are totally and completely mine!

Note: I couldn't wait for tomorrow, so this is up (well, six days late, but...) on a Monday! And, uh, this is the last official chapter of **Darling**! There will be an epilogue, but that...well, that is exactly what it sounds like, an epilogue. Tying up the loose ends, following through any story lines that remain, etc. But this, my friends, is what you have been really waiting for! The conclusion to this chaos! Will Alphonse realize he's in love with Edward? Will this end happily? Read on and find out! As always, Enjoy!

**Darling**

Chapter Nine- Kesenai tsumi wa itamu kedo

By the time Edward returned home, Alphonse was already there, in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Ed smiled; on the counter there were two plates, one for each of them. His stomach growled as the pleasant aroma of eggs and bacon reached his nose, reminding him that neither of them had eaten yet. What a morning, he thought as he pulled out a chair at the table and sat down, though the thought was both amused and slightly bitter, recalling how quickly Alphonse had rushed off at the mention of...well, what did Ed expect? He was in love with her, wasn't he? Edward scowled and, shaking his head, discarded the thought.

Al turned his back on the stove and smiled softly at Ed, though his grey eyes were full of an inscrutable emotion. "Hey Edward. Where did you run off to?"

Edward bit back the retort that Alphonse ran off first, instead saying, "Oh, Mustang dragged me to his home. He's still trying to get me laid, so he had the 'brilliant' idea to ask Hawkeye's advice."

Al nodded, but his mind was off somewhere else and Edward turned his eyes down to the table, noticing this. "Hn," Al grunted unintelligibly, then turned back to the stove. Ed began familiarizing himself with the grainy pattern of the wood beneath his nose when a plate full of food was thrust under his face. Glancing up, Ed saw Alphonse pulling out his own chair and sitting down across from him. They exchanged a glance, then began to eat in silence.

Halfway through Ed's eggs, however, Al stood up suddenly and left the room, to the confusion of his brother. He returned a minute later, a bunch of envelopes in his hand. At Edward's questioning gaze, he explained. "We got a letter from Winry today...and a rather late wedding invitation."

"Oh? How late?"

Al sat back down and pulled out the letter from Winry. "About six months late, according to this. And that's not too good, either, because her wedding's in two weeks."

"What!" Ed exclaimed. Al passed him the crumbled invitation and Ed scanned it quickly. "What took it so long to get here?"

Al shrugged. "I guess it got lost in the post. Looks rather beat up, doesn't it?" Ed nodded in assent. "The letter is recent, though. Here, there's something in there for you." Al handed Ed the letter and their fingers brushed in the exchange. Ed pretended to ignore the sharp shock that passed between them.

Edward found the part quickly, at the top of the second page.

_Anyway, what I am really writing this letter for is a favor. Edward, would you give me away at the wedding? I mean, walk me down the aisle. You see, the two of you are like family- no, you _are _my family and I want you to be part of the ceremony. Also, Kenny wouldn't let you be his best man. I can't understand why, but that's okay, because I really want you to give me away to Kenneth. Of course, you don't have to, but if you do- and I really hope you do- just come down here as quick as you can. For the fittings and the rehearsal and such and because Alphonse has to meet Kenny! We've got your room ready, so you both better get down here in time for the wedding...or else..._

Edward glanced up, his face wide with surprise. "Did I read right?" he asked. Al grinned at him and nodded. "Wow..." Ed blushed with pleasure. Yes, Winry could be cute sometimes, he thought. "She really wants me to give her away? That's..."And Edward felt the most grown-up he ever felt in his life, to have the responsibility of giving away his "sister"...despite the fact that it was Kenneth, who wasn't really all that bad, Edward admitted to himself.

He shook his head yet again in disbelief. "But…" he muttered, a smile teasing at the corner of his mouth.

"So, are you going to do it?" Al asked, though his eyes twinkled with mirth. He knew the answer even before Ed nodded his head and replied with a dazed, "Yes."

Al grinned. "Excellent. When do we leave?"

Ed glanced up, his eyebrows raised. Al waved the wrinkled invitation in his face.

"Oh…_shit_."

* * *

The country blurred together in a rush as the train sped through, pushing towards Resembool. They left that afternoon and as Alphonse watched the landscape flash past, he thought what a long day this had been. He glanced across to his brother on the seat in front of him and smiled when their eyes met, though when Ed turned back to the window, Al's face grew solemn, disquieted, unsure.

To think, Al mused, that this morning I woke up to Edward in my bed. Al shook his head at the image that flashed into his mind; the peace, the beauty of his brother as he slept. The sun creeping quietly into the room to stroke his smooth face and brighten his golden bangs. It was a warming image to Alphonse, causing little tingles in his toes and shivers up his spine.

And then, Julie. Julie, carrying his child. Julie facing humiliation for him. Because she loved him- but why? Alphonse peered over to the other one who loved him- like that- and wondered why. What was so great about him, to be loved so much? He was nothing- no one- too special. Alphonse was modest, but he was looking through the wrong eyes. It would be the same for Edward, who would never understand how Al could love him so much.

Al sat up straighter, his cheeks burning. Oh, did he just think that? Alphonse glanced quickly over at Edward, deciding that…that…to say something so he wouldn't have to deal with this now. Maybe he was embarrassed to think this. Maybe he was afraid that it was true.

Or maybe, he already knew the answer, just a scratch away, and he was drawing his trembling hand away before he could peel back the veil covering the reality he was trying, for one moment more, to conceal. From himself, from Edward, and from convention's sake.

"Edward," he said, his voice soft, beckoning. A call jealous of the window and the blurring trees. "I…there's something I have to tell you. About…Julie."

The look on his brother's face revealed his reluctance to hear what Al had to say. But curiosity and love battled over his initial instinct of repulsion. "Yes, Alphonse?"

"The baby- my child- well…" But Al's resolve faltered at the wounded expression that cast a darkness in Ed's bright yellow eyes. "Julie said that maybe _we_ could raise him, once the baby is born."

"What?"

Alphonse smiled. "She said that, financially, the child would have a better life with…us."

Edward pressed his back to seat. "You mean you, right?" he corrected, too amazed to believe it of Julie, almost thinking that it had to have been Al's idea.

"No," said Al. "She very specifically said 'us'. You and me, brother. What do you think?"

But the news was just too astonishing; Edward didn't know what he thought. It would almost be like the child he could never have, he thought, the one he could never give Alphonse. But…he would only be the child's uncle, and Alphonse would establish that Julie was his mother. Julie would be a part of their lives forever, and that would bring Al pain. What would happen if Julie got married and wanted the child back? She would have more claim over the child than they, unless…unless Alphonse married first and…and…and that was a train of thought he would rather not follow. Though had Edward known that those words spoken without inhibitions were beating in Al's heart, the ones that said "I will never marry," Edward might have been better comforted. But how could he know, when not even Alphonse truly understood?

Al frowned. He had been sure that Edward would rejoice at this news. Well, of course there was the fact that it was Julie's child too, but he didn't love Julie, so why should he worry about that? Al leaned forward. "Edward?" he said, not thinking in the moment he reached out his hand and placed it on Ed's knee.

Immediately, Edward drew his leg out from beneath Al's hand, his face blushing. "Oh, that would be interesting, I suppose," he said at last. Al's face fell. Deep down, he had counted on Edward's excitement, as though his reaction would dictate what Alphonse felt about the proposal. Al turned his face inward, towards the center of the train. They had the car to themselves; through the windows on the other side, the sun was beginning to set.

"I wonder," Edward said suddenly, dragging Al's attention back to his brother. "What would you name the child, if you could?"

Alphonse blinked in surprise. "I…I hadn't thought of that. I guess, if it's a boy I'd name him Edward, but…" Al caught the happy blush on his brother's cheek at that. Edward laughed when he caught Al's eyes upon him.

"Don't you have imagination, brother?" he joked. "Why Edward? That's so obvious."

Al pouted, but mockingly. He knew Ed was just teasing him. "Well, if you had to choose a name, what would it be?"

Ed tapped his chin in thought, then turned his eyes to Al. They sparkled with memories. "If I had to choose a name…I would name my daughter Nina Alexandra. And a son would be…Alphonse Maes Elric."

Al snorted. "What was that about being imaginative?"

"Hey, I'm naming him after Hughes."

Al smiled. "Yeah, and me too."

Ed's face grew red. "...well, I like that name, that's why."

Their eyes met, gold in grey and there was something unsaid that passed between them, an understood implication that it was more because Edward liked saying that name, thinking that name and...

"I like your name too," Al said, then broke the connection. They both looked out the window and a long silence passed between them, in which neither was sure if he was thinking anything in particular, or just trying to sift through a million emotions and tangled words mangled out of their proper order. Finally, though, Alphonse found some words to say and he broke the silence, not even sure why he did but for the tangible tension he was trying desperately to ignore.

"Nina Alexandra Elric, huh?" Edward sat up and looked over at Al from the corner of his eye. "That has a nice sound to it, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it does," Ed agreed, and this time when their eyes met the uncertainty in the air was dissipated by the memory of a darling little smile and a bouquet of magic flowers.

And outside, the world passed by and night crept closer to the horizon. Resembool grew closer with every heart beat.

* * *

When the train stopped at Resembool, it was already quite dark outside. But of the places to be left in the night, this was one place that they knew a warm meal and soft bed was waiting at the end of the black road. And sure enough, despite how late it was that they finally reached the Rockbell house, the porch light was still on and Pinako was standing outside with Den, enjoying a smoke on her pipe. As Edward and Alphonse stepped into the fringe of light cast by the lamp above her head, Pinako stepped forward and smirked at them. "You boys," she said, shaking her head. "Are you sure they have phones in that city?"

They climbed the stairs up to the porch and PInako nodded her head at the door. "Go ahead inside and make yourselves at home. I'll be in in a minute to cook you some supper."

They entered the house and found a gentle fire purring in the fireplace. On a sofa close to the sleepy flames sat, like a pair of cats, Kenneth with Winry curled up in his arms. At the sound of the door, they glanced up and Winry broke out in an elated smile. Jumping up with a squeal of glee, she lunged at them and caught each brother in a giant hug. "Edward! Alphonse! You're home!" she cried.

Al mirrored her smile as he hugged her in return. "It's good to see you," he said. Edward merely kissed Winry on the cheek and patted her on the shoulder. "Yeah, it's nice to see you again, Winry."

Winry beamed at them, then stepped back and looked them over, as though checking to make sure they were still the same boys she still remembered. Then she whirled around and pulled Kenneth off the couch. "Alphonse, meet Kenny! I've been so wanting you two to meet!"

Al took an instant liking to him and mentally approved him as the man in Winry's life. Though he could tell that Edward would never get along with Kenneth, simply because he had the gall to think he was good enough for Winry. It was a good thing then, Alphonse thought as he shook hands with Kenneth, that Winry asked Edward to walk her down the aisle in the wedding; that way, it was Ed who would have to give her away to him.

The four of them made their way into the dining room where they sat and talked. A year had passed since Edward had last been in that house and eons it seemed since Al's path had led him there. And though ever few months they wrote, there was so much that had to be said, had to be updated and that evening, over the late night meal that Pinako was more than happy to conjure up, seemed the perfect time to do it. Edward spoke of the military, work, and the marriage between Roy and Riza, which came as no surprise to Winry. "I always knew they would," she said with a smile. Alphonse discovered Kenneth's automail leg and then they all had to undergo his rendition of that fated hunting trip. Only Winry maintained her fascinated expression by the end of it; Edward was getting up from the table to get seconds which, by the time the tale was complete, he had gobbled up. He was nearly asleep in his chair; at least Alphonse had the decency to try to comment on the story at its conclusion. The only problem was he had zoned out during most of it. It was a valiant effort nonetheless and there is no doubt that Kenneth did not even notice.

Soon a lull fell in their conversation and Edward, who had been roused by a kick under the table from Al, was nodding off again. Alphonse felt his eyelids begin to droop and then Winry asked, "So, Al, what's new between you and, what's her name? Julie? How are you two nowadays?"

Edward sat up in his seat and Al's eyes snapped open. "Oh..." Al said. "We...broke up a while ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Winry said.

"Don't be!" Al said, standing suddenly. "I...I realize now that I didn't really love her back then, so I think it's for the best." Al was dreadfully aware of Edward's puzzled eyes on him.

"What happened, anyway?" Winry asked.

Al shrugged. "I don't really feel like going through the details, but let's just say she wasn't what I thought she was. No hard feelings on my part, really. At least, not anymore."

Edward was staring up at him with the most confused look in his eyes. But then, Al let out a huge yawn and Winry, noticing how tired the both of them were, sent them straight off to bed.

Minutes later, Alphonse rolled into bed beside Edward. There was only one bed for the both of them to share, the same they would have used when they were younger, so now that they were grown-up, it was a tight fit, but Edward was adamant about giving Al his space. To be fair, Al stuck to the edge anyway.

They lay in the dark and silence, two pair of eyes staring up at the ceiling. Just as Al began to drift down the river towards sleep, Edward permeated the mists of fatigue with a quiet whisper.

"Alphonse, did you mean that? You're not still upset about Julie?"

Al rolled his head to the side and studied the solemn profile of Ed's face, the eyes starting to fall shut, his bangs falling into his eyes. "I did mean that, Edward. I never loved Julie, I swear."

Edward let out a sigh. "But you did," he argued softly.

"I thought I did. There's a difference."

"I suppose." Ed's eyes slid shut and Al let out a deep breath, the emitted air teasing the blonde hairs of Ed's neck. The corner of his lips moved up in a tiny smile.

Minutes passed, or perhaps Alphonse had fallen asleep and the chill outside woke him up, but what felt like seconds later, he sat up to pull the converter onto the bed, kicked off earlier in the night before they fell asleep. As he sat up, he noticed the glint of a metal hand resting on Edward's pale stomach. Al shook his head and pulled the cover on top of both of them. Then he moved closer and whispered into Ed's ear. "Edward. Wake up. You're sleeping with your stomach out again." Ed's eyes opened reluctantly. "Brother, you're going to catch a cold sleeping like that."

Ed pouted. "It's comfortable," he said. "Besides, I haven't caught a cold yet, have I?" He settled his eyes shut again, preparing to return to sleep.

Al turned onto his back, his shoulder brushing Ed's soft shoulder. He hadn't thought of that before. And it was true, Edward had not caught a cold yet...Al pulled his shirt up a little and lay with his right hand resting on his stomach. He closed his eyes, but a moment later, sat back up. It wasn't comfortable, he thought, lying back down and tugging his shirt back down.

Then he had a thought and pulled his shirt up again. Blindly, he reached for Edward's hand, dragging it across his body and resting it on his cool skin. Al smiled at the touch.

Edward blinked awake, then saw his hand on Alphonse's bare stomach. He started to move it, but Al's hand moved up and held it to him. "No, leave it," he said. "You're right; it is comfortable." Edward stared down at his brother in disbelief then, smiling, fell back asleep. A moment later, Alphonse followed, strangely content with himself.

* * *

The next two weeks followed in a blur of tuxedo fittings and helping Winry in the final preparations and agonies of the wedding ceremony. When Edward told her that he would be honored to walk her down the aisle, Winry spun around with ecstatic joy and a glow of everything coming together lit up her face. The floral arrangements? All ordered and prepared just as she wanted. The wedding gown? When she received it from the dress maker in town, she slipped it on for Ed and Al to admire and Alphonse felt a lump in his throat, for she was so beautiful. The cake? Winry grinned wickedly and whispered that it was decadently chocolate. Neither really understood what it was about women and chocolate, so they just nodded and grinned. Everything was coming into place perfectly, but of course, something has to go wrong, and in Alphonse's eyes, they did.

A day before the wedding rehearsal, a call came from Central, Mustang to be exact, for Winry. At the time, she and Al had been sorting through the invitation RSVPs (Kenneth and Edward had left earlier that day to pick up the rings.) Pinako, in the kitchen making lunch, answered the phone, then poked her head in and told Winry she had a phone call. She stood and left the table. It only seemed a minute before she returned, her face white with rage.

"Alphonse," she whispered dangerously. "What is this I hear? You impregnated a woman in Central and now refuse to marry her?"

Al glanced up, a frown on his face. "Who told you that?" he asked.

"I just got a call from Mustang. He told me to pass the message on that she's staying at his house while they come out for the wedding and for you not to worry." Her voice was dangerous, and Al shrank in his seat.

"It's true; Julie's carrying my child. I only found out a few weeks ago." Alphonse made sure there weren't any nearby wrenches for Winry to throw at him. Certainly this did not sit well with her.

"So, are you going to marry her?" she asked, her voice cool.

Al hesitated. Now, that was something that hadn't really crossed his mind. He did not love Julie, and she knew that, and they would both be unhappy, so it never sounded to him like a solution to the problem. He shook his head. "I...don't love Julie. I did promise to help raise the child, but I cannot marry her. We would both be miserable."

"Alphonse," Winry said, sitting down. "Does she love you?"

Al looked down at the cards in his hands. "Yeah, she does. That's why I can't hurt her like that. Besides, we'd be miserable together. She...she thinks I'm in love with someone else."

"Oh. Who?" Winry's cold rage dissipated- the thought that Alphonse could be so cold-hearted and irresponsible had faded away with his words, and the obvious care he took in rejecting this woman reassured her.

Al shook his head. "Oh, it's silly. Not even worth mentioning," he said dismissively.

"So she's right?" Winry asked with a smile. Al's eyes widened and she giggled. "Oh, she was. Well, Al, tell me who she is!"

"I-I...it's no one, really, no one at all-" Alphonse stood to leave, growing very uncomfortable inside, because what if he said "Edward" and...and gave her the wrong idea? No, that would not do.

Winry frowned when he stood from the table, seeing how pale his face was and the beads of sweat on his forehead. "Alphonse, what's the matter? Why won't you tell me-"

"Hey everyone, we're back," Edward's voice suddenly broke through the house and Alphonse grew rigid at the sound, his eyes brightening, growing wide, happy...afraid.

Winry's eyes grew wide as well and she let out a little gasp. Al snapped his head around and realized that somehow she knew. How she figured it out so easily he did not know, but it must have been because she knew him so well. "No, no! That's not it! Winry-"

"You...Alphonse, tell me you're in love with Edward."

"I'm not! I swear I'm not!"

Winry stepped away, her face contorted, not sure what emotion she felt at this revelation. "The more you deny it, the more I know it's true. You are; you're in love with Ed. I...I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything to Edward?" Al begged, mainly because how could Winry "see" something he wasn't sure he wanted to acknowledge was there? Better not let Edward hope- the mantra of his heart.

"No, I won't," she whispered. "That I can promise."

When, a minute later Edward and Kenneth walked into the room, Winry had managed to hide the multitude of her emotions inside and Alphonse, who was so shaken by what Winry was convinced was true, escaped from the room quickly, not able to look at Ed as he walked past because if he did his heart would have leapt out of his chest. And he wouldn't be able to say why.

* * *

They all met at the station early that morning, the day of the wedding. Colonel Mustang and Riza, Major Armstrong, Second Lieutenants Breda and Havoc, Sergeant Fury, and Falman. And there was the Hughes, Gracia and Elycia, and Sheska as well. All smiles and laughter and yawns, because it was dreadfully early in the morning and it was a wonder that Elycia was awake at all, but she was, so excited for the trip and the chance to see Winry again, who was to her like a big sister. And Riza found the women coddling her and eagerly feeling her round belly, giggling when they felt the baby's powerful kick. Gracia would then grow misty and remember a time when she was six months pregnant and Maes would coo and crow and worry over her and the baby, and just how proud she was to be carrying little Elycia and see her daddy strut about like the proud peacock he was. And Sheska would swoon and dream of her mister perfect- one of many heroes from her books, no doubt- and think on the day she too would bring a child into the world. And the three women would sigh, and Riza was content.

Finally, though, the train arrived and, because it was so early, the party got a car to themselves, to revel and laugh and sleep in as much and as lavishly as they pleased. Roy led Riza to their seats in the corner of the car which, granted, could have been softer, but were the perfect size for a cuddling couple. They sat across from Havoc and Fury, and Riza saw out of the corner of her eye how fast their clasped hands wrenched apart and how their eyes turned away from each other as she and Roy sat down opposite them. She did not say a word, merely leaned her head against Roy's shoulder and tried to sleep, as they waited for the train to leave the station.

Suddenly, the train jerked into motion, startling Riza just as she had begun to drift, and then she noticed the ill-hidden look of envy and longing on Fury's face, and she lifted her head from Roy's shoulder. He glanced over with a question on his face, but she smiled and he stopped worrying.

During the trip, Roy sat by the window, keeping his eyes mainly on the darkling trees and the rising sun peeking above them. Now and then, he would glance over at Riza and squeeze her hand, tearing her discreet gaze from Fury and Havoc. Roy wondered why she was watching them, but perhaps it was boredom. Or maybe she was just tired.

Across the aisle, the four could hear Sheska and Elycia reading a book together, and further down the car, Armstrong's boastful pride in his flawless physique. But between the four of them no words were passed until, finally, Riza spoke. "How long has this been going on, you two?" Her voice was authoritative, sharp, and for an instant Roy feared that when he turned his head he would not see his wife beside him but a Lieutenant. Luckily, when he turned around to throw her a puzzled look, she was still as pregnant as ever; there was no gun sling under her arm.

"What do you mean?" Havoc asked, feigning confusion.

Riza glared at him, obviously upset by...something. Roy, for the life of him, could not say what. "Havoc, you know what I mean. How long have the two of you been together and not told us?"

"Oh!" Fury gasped. "H-how'd you know?"

Havoc jumped at Fury's words, his face paler. Distracted, he pulled out a cigarette and struggled to light it, finally tossing it away when it refused to ignite. "Shit," he said as he slid the lighter back into his pocket. "What does it matter?" he said at last, with a wary glance at Hawkeye.

"I would have hoped you'd trust us more than that. Did you expect us to hate you if we found out?" Riza replied, quiet. Havoc and Fury were touched; Roy was outright amazed...wait, he thought. Does this mean Havoc and Fury are a couple?

Without ceremony, but with a blink of Riza's approving eyes, Havoc pulled Fury to his side and embraced his shoulders with a tender smile. "A year," he said. "We've been together for just over a year now."

Riza frowned and sighed. "A year too long. You could have told us before, instead of leaving it to us to figure out on our own."

"We're sorry for deceiving you," Fury said, bowing his head. "We were just afraid, that's all. What would people say?"

Riza glanced out the window, at the sun now climbing the ladder of clouds to the top of the sky. Her eyes were far away and her voice came as though from a great distance. "I would say that it's pure love and nothing so pure could possibly be dirty, so you should be proud of your love, because it's all that we have to protect us from the harshness of the world." She sighed. "Doesn't matter in what form that love comes, so long as it's true."

Havoc and Fury smiled at her and Roy, sure there was something beyond her words, some hidden thought guiding her words, stared quizzically down on her. But she merely smiled at him and it reassured him that, whatever it was she was thinking, he had no need to worry. So he grinned back and gently kissed her forehead.

Just as he pulled back, out of the opposite window he saw the station, and Resembool behind that. They had arrived.

* * *

Edward was...unnerved. For the past two days, Winry had been casting him strange looks and for some reason, Alphonse had been avoiding him. No, Edward was more than unnerved; he was scared. Had Winry, somehow, discovered his feelings for Alphonse? Was that why she was looking at him like that, as though she had some deep dark thing lurking within her which she both longed to unleash upon him and at the same time desperately needed to keep caged within her. Had she revealed her revelation to Al, though? Was Alphonse trying to prove to Winry that her suspicion- perhaps she thought they were...that the feeling was mutual- was wrong, that he, unlike Edward himself, was not made that way? It was lonesome, whatever was causing this distance, and Ed found himself more and more keeping company with Pinako and Den, for they threw him no strange glances.

However, by the end of the second day, the night before the wedding, Winry had begun to warm towards Ed again, giving him smiles and bright looks rather than her clouded, troubled eyes from before. That afternoon Kenneth had gone into town, as the old superstition dictated the bride and groom were not to see each other the day before the wedding, or else suffer bad luck in their marriage. The table felt empty that night as they sat to dinner, without Kenneth sitting with them, thought Winry's jitters and laughter by turn were more than enough to make up for the empty space. With dinner sitting warmly on the table, they all breathed a sigh in relief. The preparations were complete; everything was in place for the big day. It was as though they had finished climbing a mountain during the past two weeks and tomorrow they only had to slide down the other side; a cake walk, an yet, for some inexplicable reason, there was a weight in Ed's heart, as though he dreaded going down the other side. He couldn't say why that was, but he felt Pinako worded it best as, with her final bite she placed down her fork, she remarked, "It is strange. I've been cooking for the two of you for the past year and a half, and when you return from your honeymoon in a few weeks I will again. And yet, I know that it will be different; dinners with you and Ken will be different." She smiled at Winry. "Is it because, the next time you two sit down at this table, it will be as man and wife? Or is it because I really don't want you to grow up, and tomorrow I'll have to face the inevitable truth that you are?"

Winry smiled back, tears in her eyes. She reached down and hugged the old woman, whose eyes were dry and yet Ed was sure, inside, that her heart felt as heavy as his.

That night, Ed could not sleep, not even when Alphonse snuggled up beside him and placed his automail hand on his soft belly. Finally, he fell into a fitful doze where he dreamed of Winry in a white dress, her hand in the crook of his arm, and the words ringing in his ears, "I do." He woke up minutes before dawn and shuddered, his stomach full of butterflies.

The morning passed by in a flurry. Winry had to get into her dress, the whole female wedding party filling the house with giggles and a gaggle of gowns. Edward and Alphonse went to the house where Kenneth had passed the night. From there they went to the tailor and had put on their tuxedos, then went to the church where last minute decorations were being put up and the organist was practicing the wedding march to be played as Winry walked down the aisle. The butterflies intensified, but with a glance at Kenneth, Edward tried to quell their incessant fluttering. How he could look so cool, so confident, so _sure_ at this moment, while Ed felt nearly sick...and he wasn't even the one getting married.

But eventually the frantic last-minute touches were complete and with a glance down the road, the dust cloud signaling Winry's approach brought a lull among those in the church. As they waited for the women to arrive, Winry and her bridesmaids, with Pinako cramped in the car with them, Kenneth stood by the altar, alone, and Ed could see in his self-assured eyes a twinge of shock, as though he could not believe that finally he was getting married. The other men in the wedding ceremony, men from town as well as Alphonse, and Edward with them, stood in the entrance, waiting for the women they were to escort down the aisle. Al was with Ed, off to the side, and he smiled at his brother, at the anxious look on his face.

"It's hard to believe, isn't it brother?" he said.

"Huh? What?"

Al grinned at him indulgently. "I said, it's hard to believe that Winry's actually getting married. I always thought she'd marry you, to be honest."

Ed laughed. "Are you kidding? I had hoped she'd choose you."

Alphonse cast him a questioning glance, but shook off Ed's words with a laugh of his own. "She would probably have to marry both of us, if she ever had to choose," he admitted.

"Which is why she's not marrying either of us, I suppose."

Al nodded. "Yeah..." He gazed down the road at the car approaching closer and closer. "It is hard to believe it, though. I mean, that we made it this far, that we...Edward, we're grown-up, aren't we?"

At those words, the butterflies increased. Ed nodded. Yes, that's why he was nervous, he realized. It was because, when he handed Winry off to Kenneth, he would be, in effect, leading her into adulthood. She would leave her childhood forever and, in a way, lead the way for him, too. And Alphonse, eventually. Winry was taking them out of their childhood, the time when it was just the three of them. She was moving on, moving past that and showing them to the next stage of life.

Edward glanced over at his beautiful brother. It wasn't so much nervousness for himself, he realized, but that Alphonse, too, would move to that next part and leave him behind. He, too, would find his life partner and leave Edward, forgotten, in his young memories. Ed had already found his love, but he feared the time when Alphonse would find his, too.

The butterflies rustled uncomfortably within him.

When the car pulled up to the church, Winry and the other women, all swishing around in light coral, spilled out and hurried inside to touch up their make-up and smooth out the cresses in their dresses. The church was filling up; Edward spotted Roy and Riza in the back, sitting with the rest of their military acquaintances. In front of him, Ed saw Elycia pull on Alphonse's coat tail and ask in her charming, youthful voice where her big sister was. Al smiled down (capturing his heart as always when he did that) and explained that Elycia would see Winry soon, but was at the moment very busy. Elycia thanked him and returned to her seat beside her mother, looking slightly disappointed, but still very eager to see Winry in her wedding gown.

And then all the guests were seated and the music began to play. The doors into the church shut and Edward was suddenly standing beside Winry. Her gown shone like a pearl plucked from the ocean and polished with care so that the sun herself sought it out as her mirror, to reflect her brilliant beauty off the equally beautiful, ivory-colored sphere. She smiled at the gaping expression in Edward's stunned eyes and demurely slipped her hand into Edward's proffered elbow, clutching tightly to the fabric covering his metal arm. Edward grinned shakily back at her and whispered, "Winry, are you happy?"

She nodded, her happiness radiating from her face, her smile, the way she wore her wedding gown, the way she leaned against him. "Yes, Edward, I am happy."

"Good." Ed slid her hand into his hand, holding her arm between his body and his automail limb. Gently, he squeezed her hand. "You look...beautiful," he said.

"Thank you."

Then, the doors opened and the train of bridesmaids and their escorts moved slowly in front of them, like a pink and black rainbow bridging the way to Kenneth. Step by slow step, Edward followed them, Winry by his side, where she would stay for only that moment, before he gave her to Kenneth to remain by his side forever. They were at the altar and, exchanging a fleeting glance, they were parted, and Edward found himself standing beside Alphonse. Kenneth gently took Winry's hand, his face set, but happily so, his dark eyes full of his bride's beauty. Collectively, everyone sank into their seats.

The only part of the ceremony Edward remembered afterwards was when the pair read their own vows to each other, words, they said, they wrote from their hearts. Edward believed them.

"It is you I love, Winry, you that I was made to love. You are the only sight I wish to see when I wake up each morning, and the only one I want to kiss each night. You are my crutch, you are my savior, you are my love, you are my life. You are my heart; you are the only one in my heart. Without you, I would die, and because of you, I live." Kenneth looked up to see tears in Winry's eyes. "And if ever I am unfaithful to you, I give you full permission to throw ten thousand wrenches at me," he concluded.

Out of the corner of his eye, Edward saw Alphonse smile at him. Turning his eyes a little, his met Al's and Al's smile widened. Edward wondered why there seemed to be laughter in those grey depths, why they seemed to whisper those words to him. Startled by it, Edward turned his eyes back to Winry, who now began to speak.

"I don't know the poetic way to say this, the way that touches hearts and brings tears to the eyes. But all I know is that I want my days to be filled by you; you inspire me, you make me smile, you fill my heart with happiness. I love you more than I knew I could love and I know that it will last forever. How long is forever? I cannot say, but I know that I want to grow old with you and, when we're old and grey, to have you by my side still. I think forever is long enough for that."

Again, Edward felt his brother's eyes on him, smiling at him. He looked up and found Alphonse looking at him, looking at him in an unbelievable way; Ed almost thought it was the same way Kenneth and Winry gazed at each other, as they leaned together and embraced, kissed lightly, sweetly, the quintessential kiss. But Alphonse did not lean forward, for which Ed was grateful, or else he might have leaned closer as well, and...

But then, the organ burst out in celebratory music, Winry and Kenneth ran down the aisle, leading the rest out of the church and to the town hall, where the reception was being held, and Edward did not get the chance to ask Al what that look meant, as they too were swept up into the melee.

Once at the reception, Edward was bombarded by familiar faces; soon after he entered the hall, he met up with Fury and Havoc, and soon after that Armstrong sought him out, his eyes overflowing the typical Armstrong emotional reaction to things happy or things tragic. Then Roy found Edward and dragged him over to see Riza, proclaiming her rounder than before (to which Edward had to agree). When Edward finally sat down at the bridal party's table, Elycia soon demanded they switch seats so that she could sit beside Winry and admire her big sister's gown. Ed found himself then at the table between Gracia and Sheska, however, though their company was enjoyable, he found himself constantly glancing back to Alphonse. Oh, discreetly, of course.

And then, the music played and the bride and groom had their first dance. Slowly, couples joined them on the floor, Roy and Riza, Fury ask stood up from his side of the table and asked to dance with Sheska (though his eyes were on Havoc the entire time), and Major Armstrong came around and danced with Gracia Hughes, and soon, Edward was alone at the table, watching everyone else dancing.

Sighing, Edward turned his gaze to the table, to Elycia's half-finished supper. The song ended, some people returned to their tables, and then someone was standing beside him, leaning over his shoulder. "Hello, Ed," Winry said. "Will you dance with me?"

Ed turned to his friend and smiled. "A dance with the bride, huh? You know, I'm not much of a dancer," he said, standing.

Winry grinned at him. "I know," she said. Ed took her hand and led her to the floor, awkwardly placing his hand on her waist, but she simply smiled and Edward relaxed.

"Edward, remember the last time we were at a wedding?"

Ed nodded. The first image that came to his mind was Alphonse abandoning him for a pretty face asking him for a dance. "Yes. I asked you to marry me, if, in four years, we were still single."

"That's right." Winry giggled. "You know, that was kind of silly, Edward. Four years, we were only twenty. That's pretty young to get married, don't you think?"

"I suppose..."

"So why did you do that, Edward? Why did you ask me that?"

Edward glanced down at his fumbling feet, heat creeping up his neck. "I suppose it was because I knew I'd never marry anyone else. It was only you, Winry," he said softly.

"But you don't love me like that, Edward." Winry bent her head to look into his eyes. "Ed? You don't, do you?"

Ed looked up and shook his head. "No, I don't. It's because the one I want...I can never have. That's why."

"Who is it, Edward? Can you tell me?"

Ed smiled and shook his head. "Don't let me ruin your big day, Winry. Trust me, you really don't want to know."

"You guys, the both of you," she muttered. "You don't trust me with anything, do you? I guess I should be used to it, but I'm not. I just think that you ought to tell me thinks, because some things need to be said."

Ed frowned. "What about Alphonse? What wouldn't he tell you?"

"He's in love with someone too, but he wouldn't tell me who." Winry turned her eyes on him, giving him that look again. "I only found out by a fluke."

Edward grasped Winry's hand tighter in his, and their steps had slowed to a simple moving back and forth. "Who?" he whispered, his voice dark. "Who is it?"

"Oh, Edward, I couldn't do that to you," she said, surprising Ed (she knows, he thought, there's no way she doesn't) and then the music ended and Winry kissed Ed on the cheek. "Thank you, Ed, for the dance. Thank you."

Ed dropped his hands and, though he was puzzled by her words, he smiled anyway. "Congratulations, Winry. You are...very happy?"

"Yes, Edward, very happy. I could only wish the same for you."

They kissed and parted and, though he knew Winry wished he would continue to dance, there was only one person Edward wanted to dance with. But Alphonse was nowhere to be seen as Edward returned to his table, and so he sat and sulked and tried not to look too unhappy, for fear someone would get the wrong idea.

The rest of the evening went by slowly, but eventually the cake was cut, the cake was devoured, Winry and Kenneth left for their honeymoon (Edward got up for that, to wish them farewell) and soon, the guests began to leave. It was then that Alphonse came over and joined Edward at the table, where Ed was pushing his cake around with his fork.

"Brother?" Alphonse said as he sat. "You're not dancing?"

Edward looked up into his brother's worried eyes. "No, I'm not."

"Why not? Don't you want to?"

Ed thought for a moment. "Nope."

"Oh...why?"

"There's no one I want to dance with."

Alphonse turned his face away, watching as the last of the guests left. They were alone, and the lights fell dim. The tall windows along the walls let the moonlight stream in; the room, in Al's opinion, looked romantic and mysterious. The shadows cast by the tables and the clouds passing through the moonlight seemed to be dancing with sin. Alphonse smiled.

"Edward, we're the last ones here," he said. In the natural lighting of the night, Ed looked older, his face stark, bleak, tragic.

"We should probably leave," Ed said, and started to get up.

"Wait," Al called, taking Ed's hand and staying his retreat. "I didn't dance either, except with Elycia. I only wanted to dance with you, Edward. Will you dance with me?"

Edward's gold eyes in the dark shone silver and surprised. "Alphonse? You want to dance with me?"

Alphonse smiled. "Yes, brother, if you please." Edward did not protest, almost too surprised to nod. Al drew him to the middle of the floor and wrapped his arms around his brother's neck. Uneasily, Edward wound his arms around Al's waist, pulling him close. They began to sway among the shadows, and Al dropped his head on Edward's chest. He jumped, but Al held tightly onto him, not letting him flee from him.

"Edward," Al whispered, "I've been thinking, for a while, about...things. About you, about love, about whether or not I could possibly...be in love with you. Julie seems to think so, and Winry thinks so too, but...I didn't know. I was too confused with my emotions, with the knowledge that you love me like that."

"Al...?"

His brother sighed against him, and Ed could feel his lungs expand. He suddenly became aware of Al's beating heart against his chest. "Today though, at the wedding, when Kenneth and Winry read their vows, I suddenly knew. I knew in my heart that I've always been in love with you. As I listened to them, I realized that everything they said I feel for you." Al lifted his head and stared into Edward's bright eyes. "I always envisioned us growing old together, brother. I always imagined that you would be by my side, forever and ever. I knew that if we ever parted...and when we did, those months and then when you finally came back...I don't feel complete without you, Ed. I don't want to ever _be_ complete without you either."

"Alphonse?"

He smiled. "That's right, Ed. I love you. I am in love with you and I love you, I love you, I love you..." Ed cut him off abruptly with a kiss. That kiss turned into two, became a series of alternately desperate and tender, passionate and gentle kisses. Their eyes closed, arms wrapped firmly around each other, they spun and swayed together in the shadows of the hall, under the starlight and moonlight. When they parted at last, it was as though losing a part of themselves, as though unless they were one, they were incomplete.

Edward nuzzled his cheek against Al's cheek as he caught his breath. "Alphonse...I don't know what to say...I've loved you since forever it seems, I just never thought that you could love me too...never in my wildest dreams did I allow myself the hope that you'd return my feelings. I thought I was dirty, impure, and that it was my punishment to love you and never have you, but now..."

"I am yours, brother, only yours, forever. I don't care that people will say this isn't right." Al pulled back slightly to get a good look into Ed's eyes. "Because this is right, isn't it? It has to be right..."

"Does it matter, though? Right or wrong? Love is love and I...love you so much, Al." Edward tilted Al's head back and kissed him deeply, so that it was as though that kiss was a mingling of their souls rather than just a physical gratification of feelings that made their hearts beat fast and their minds race and reel. It was almost hard for them to imagine any kiss topping that one, but the next one after that was even better than that, and each one grew better and better, until it did not really matter and the kiss part was not important, but simply being one instead of two, of holding and loving each other with each breath they shared.

But when that kiss ended, and before the next one begun, Alphonse placed his lips over Edward's heart, smiled and whispered, "I love you too, brother. I love you..." And hearing those words beat every kiss they ever shared.

Chapter Nine- I still feel the pain of that indelible sin

...The last two paragraphs both end with "shared." I don't really care to change it though. I like how it ends...oh my god...it's basically over. I mean, there is the epilogue (and I am excited about a few of those things I have planned for it, too) but officially, the story is over. Edward got Alphonse in the end (you knew that was going to happen, right? I mean, c'mon! I'm not that cruel...) and Winry married Kenneth. This story has come full circle, beginning and ending in Resembool. Hmm...I like that, actually. It makes me proud of myself...well, something I wish to brag about- this chapter was 8,500 words long (not counting the beginning and ending comments.) Seriously. No wonder it took longer than usual. To be honest, I'm proud I stayed dedicated to this story. I really wanted to know how it would end, to tell the truth. I'm glad I took the time to find out. I want to thank everyone for sticking with this story and reviewing as well as you all have. It really makes my world go 'round, getting reviews for my stories. So thank you so much, all of you (but especially those people who reviewed every chapter. Those reviews made my day, y'know.) Oh, I'm getting emotional...well, I'll still see you in the epilogue, and after that's done, I'll return to **Definition of Sin**, and maybe start a new Elricest story as well (actually, if you want to look for that in a month or two, it's tentatively titled "Immoral Fires". I cannot wait to start writing it, too. Humor is expected.) Until the epilogue- Rowan


	10. Darling

Disclaimer: Rowan can only draw Edward's left eye. And that's on a good day.

AC (Author's Claim): The OCs in this chapter belong to me, got it? Kenneth Morgan, Julie Hakuro, Maes Hughes Mustang, Nina Alexandra Elric, Trisha Anne Morgan, Kenneth Rockbell Morgan, Elizabeth Winifred Mustang, and Bentley Wilmont are all my characters! Yay, some things here are totally and completely mine!

Note: And now, the epilogue! I know this took way longer than I expected (nearly two months- I'm sorry!) but to compensate you all for the wait, this is twice as long as all the other chapters, so hopefully you can all forgive me. Anyway, this is the official end of Darling. Babies shall be born. As always, enjoy!

**Darling**

Chapter Ten- Epilogue

A telephone call...going unanswered.

"Edward, I think we should get that."

Ed sat up and scowled, then shook his head. "Nah, that's okay," he said dismissively, then leaned back into Alphonse's neck. Al squirmed as warm lips kissed up his neck, then down to his shoulder, Ed tugging Al's shirt so better to expose the skin he wished to worship. Crossing his eyes and clenching his fists, Al willed himself to resist, but was failing miserably until the phone rang out impatiently once more.

"Ed, I'm serious, cut it out and answer the phone," Al demanded, trying as he did so to move away from his brother.

Ed rocked back on his heels and sighed in frustration. "It's just Mustang," he snorted. "And all he'll want to talk about is his precious baby boy. And no matter how _fascinating_ a one month old baby may be, I've already heard everything fifty million times. That's about fifty million times too many, in my opinion."

"And yet, despite the lavish amount of attention you've paid my neck these past few months, that never seems to bore you."

"Well that, my dear brother, is because I have a lot of catching up to do. I haven't kissed your neck half as many times as I've dreamt of kissing it, so you understand, it make take years before I get tired of it." Ed smirked.

Al shook his head and grinned. "Brother, you are too much sometimes," he said, pushing Ed off his lap even as he kissed his lips lightly. "Well, if you won't get it, then I will." Al stood and finally answered the phone's insistent plea to be heard. "Hello? Oh, hi Haw-, er, Riza." Ed sat up, eyes curious. The golden vividness of his irises made Al smile, because the expression reminded him of a cat, ears up and alert. "How are you? We're good, uh huh. How's the baby?" Al looked blankly interested, but then his eyes grew slowly wide, making Ed wish he knew what the heck they were talking about. Maybe Mustang dropped the baby on its head as he cavorted about with it and now Hawkeye feared that the child would grow up to be as big of a bastard as his father. Ed chuckled, knowing of course that that had not happened.

"Oh…are you sure? Thank you for the heads up." Al hung up and Ed stood to pull his brother back into an embrace. Absently, Al swatted him away. "No, Ed, we can't," he muttered.

Ed pouted and slung his arms around Al's waist. "Why not? You had me all worked up before; how're you going to let me down now?"

"Well," Al said with a smirk, "if you don't mind explaining to Roy when he gets here, then fine with me!" Al began to tug Ed's shirt off, but Ed pulled back and shook Al's hands off him.

"Did you just say that Mustang's coming over here?"

"Yeah, with the baby, apparently." Al grinned. "But what does that matter, right Edward? After all, it would be mean of me to ignore your needs like that…" Al stepped towards Ed, who shook his head and backed away.

"And have Mustang come in and see us! Are you crazy!" Ed scrambled back to the couch and picked up a book lying on the table nearby. "No, no…we'll just act like nothing was happening and try…try to get him to leave as soon as possible."

Al nodded. "Right," he said, scrambling to the other side of the couch and looking nonchalantly…asleep.

"You call that casual?" Ed hissed.

Al lifted his head. "I can't find a book anywhere."

Edward blinked. He blinked twice. Then, calmly, he pointed to the walls around him and said, "Al, my love, what are _those_, then?"

Bookshelves. Books upon books in those bookshelves. Al grinned sheepishly, stood to get one, and then the front door opened.

Al squeaked and, not looking casual at but very, very frantic- the thought just occurring to him that in all likelihood Ed had given him a hickey- he ran down the hall to their bedroom, shutting the door behind him as softly as he could.

Ed stared at the space Al had occupied until five seconds ago, wondering what it was that could have caused Al's panic, when the silence was broken by a voice. A cooing voice that reminded Edward to remain calm and act as though he had not been making out with his brother two minutes before. And a short moment later, Mustang walked into the room, a baby balanced in his arms.

"Afternoon, Edward!" Roy said, walking towards the couch and taking a seat next to him. He thrust the baby under Ed's nose and grinned. "I thought it was unfair of me to tell you all about him without once letting you see him. So, here he is! Maes, meet Edward Elric, the FullMetal Alchemist!" Roy turned his gaze towards his child. "And Ed, meet Maes Hughes Mustang."

Ed glanced down at the fat rosy cheeks of the month-old child. His eyes were dark, like his father's, and were wide awake, though the feeling Ed got from looking into Maes's eyes was like Hawkeye's gaze when she knows something. The child's hair was light, though not quite blonde; a tawny brown that swept into his wide-open eyes. He looked nothing like his namesake, save his clear innocence that only babies and Hughes could display.

And Alphonse, Ed thought with a wry grin. They had been officially "together" for three months now, though really, they had always been together in a sense. Not like that though, and Ed had to fight a chuckle as he recalled _that_ first night. Al's eyes that night had displayed such a complete purity that it nearly made Edward change his mind. But there had been trust in that gaze too, complete trust that Edward held onto throughout the ordeal (which it was more than anything else. Al could be a real prude, too.)

"...and make sure you don't look at him in the wrong way, Maes, or he might think you're calling him short," Ed heard Roy instruct his son as he drifted from his thoughts back to the room.

Ed's eye twitched. "Hey, I'm not that bad!" he exclaimed.

Roy looked up at Ed's red face, stared into his angry eyes for a second, then glanced back down at his son cradled in his arm. "As I was saying, be careful around FullMetal. He's...dangerous."

"Hello, Roy!" Al burst in just as Ed began to rise, a slightly maniacal glint in his eyes. "How are you?"

Both men turned their heads toward the door where Al stood, a large, slightly frantic, grin on his face. Edward frowned at his brother. "Alphonse?" he asked, wonder in his voice as to why his brother was wearing a long sleeved turtleneck when they'd been having such warm weather lately. "Indian summer" they called it, and it was. Nobody was crazy enough to wear anything longer than shorts, so for a moment Ed had to wonder if, poor Al, the heat had done him in.

Roy, too, was giving Alphonse a puzzled look. Something was up, for Al was far too sensible to wear a turtleneck in hot weather without a reason. But luckily for Al, Roy's prying eyes were easily drawn back to the child he cradled in his arms. "Hello Alphonse. Come see Maes!"

Al laughed, then glared at Ed once Mustang was looking the other way, pulling his collar down and revealing a reddish mark on his neck. Ed bit his lips to keep from laughing. Very Funny, Al mouthed back, scrunching his nose and giving Ed a wry grin. He then stepped up to the couch and leaned toward the baby in Roy's arms.

"Hi Maes!" he said, his face giving way to a gentle smile and eyes that shone with wonder.

"Yeah, amazing, isn't he?" Ed remarked from over Al's shoulder, his tone sarcastic, yet not. "You'd never guess that Mustang's his father." Roy lifted his head and glared at Edward.

Al ignored his brother, instead tilting his head to the side and touching Roy's arm gently to get his attention. "Say, Roy, may I...um," Al blushed. "May I hold him?"

"Sure Al."

Edward felt his insides slush together like wet snow as Roy passed the baby to Al. Roy eased the baby into Al's arms, who received the well-wrapped bundle with care. Ed watched with a tinkling fascination how Alphonse pulled the tiny body to his, cradling Maes against his chest. Maes blinked wide, trusting eyes up at Al, and broke into a sleepy, content smile. Al smiled back and laughed uncertainly. In minutes, the infant was fast asleep.

Al, his brother decided, was made for fatherhood. His gentle arms were for embracing tiny bodies, his warm smile to soothe small fears, his kind eyes to calm eager spirits. It was obvious how meant for children Alphonse was, and painfully so. Who was Edward to keep him from that?

Roy broke into Ed's thoughts before he could commence his oncoming guilt trip. "Hey, Julie is due anytime now. Are you excited, Alphonse?"

Al glanced up from the child in his arms. "Huh? Oh, yeah." He nodded absently.

Edward frowned at Roy then, a thought coming to him. "Say, Mustang, why did you and Hawkeye take Julie in anyway?"

Roy blinked for a second, unsure. "...well, she's carrying Al's baby, isn't she? That makes her family. Right?"

Ed and Al exchanged a look and Ed coughed into his hand. "Oh."

"Was I wrong?" Roy asked, looking to Al. "Aren't you going to marry her, Alphonse?"

Al's eyes grew large and, sensing the tension in his arms, Maes woke then, beginning to cry loudly, much to Al's relief. He placed Maes back in Mustang's arms, where the baby once more calmed and returned to his slumber. Roy walked once around the room, cooing and rocking Maes gently, while Ed and Al remained frozen by the couch.

Finally, Roy returned to the sofa in the center of the room and turned back to Al, the question still in his eyes. "Alphonse?"

And then, the phone rang again.

"I got it," Ed muttered, lifting the phone from its cradle. "Hello?"

"Edward? It's Riza again. Where's Alphonse?"

"Right here," Ed replied, handing the appliance to his brother. "It's Hawkeye."

"Hello, Riza?"

"Al? Julie just went into labor."

"Wha-? What should I do?" Al felt a strange gripping anxiety in his gut.

"Get the doctor. I'm not supposed to get out of bed yet, or I would do it myself and I couldn't get through on the telephone. Also, send Roy back here to take care of things until you get here."

Al nodded to himself. "Uh, yeah. Be right there." He hung up and found two pairs of intense eyes on him. "Julie's in labor. I'm going to get the doctor." Trance-like, he walked to the door, then remembered the rest of Riza's message and turned back to Roy. "Oh, Mustang, Riza told me to send you back home." And then Al vanished, much to Edward's jealousy.

For a moment, the two men stared at the empty doorway, comprehension sitting on the threshold but not ready to open the door. Then the knob was turned, and in that moment Roy leapt forward, his steps uncertain, without purpose, but something. "Uh...I should go."

Edward, feeling sullen by the stricken look on his brother's face, fell on the couch and stretched. "Yeah, guess you should. Have fun."

Roy glared, then rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm leaving. Riza needs my help, so... You could offer your help, you know."

Ed shook his head. "Not my problem. Besides, Al didn't say Hawkeye wanted me to help, so I think I'll just stay here." Ed closed his eyes and smirked at the Colonel.

Suddenly, he was lifted from the couch and dumped on the floor. Opening his eyes and his mouth to glare and complain loudly, Ed didn't get a chance to do either as Roy shoved the baby into his arms. "Oof! Hey, what the he-"

"Someone needs to watch the baby. Now let's go." And Edward found himself kidnapped again, this time Maes cradled in his arms, thinking that this was something that had happened way too many times to be healthy.

* * *

Minutes later, they were at Mustang's house and Edward, resigned to babysitting the rather calm infant in his arms, was not so subdued as to let Roy drag him out of the car as he had pulled him in, instead stepping out of the car and following Mustang into the house.

The first thing that met them was a loud, pain-pulsating screech that came from the end of the hall. Ed winced and curled his lip at the thought of Julie. He remember back to his twelve birthday and Gracia Hughes going into labor. She wasn't so loud as that bitch down the hall, he thought.

"Hey Ed, could you take Maes to his room? Everything you need is in there- diapers, wipes, clothes, and the like. He probably shouldn't get hungry for another hour or two, but I'm sure you won't have to take care of him that long." Roy showed Ed to the baby's room, kissed his son on the top of his soft head, then left to assist Hawkeye and that wailing woman at the back of the house.

There was a sofa chair next to the crib in the middle of the room and, though Maes was starting to drift back to sleep in his arms, despite the noise throughout the rest of the house, Ed kind of liked the warmth of that tiny body against his chest. He settled into the chair by the crib, but held Maes in his arms still, awkwardly rocking the slumbering baby side to side.

Studying the gentle, innocent face of the child he held, Edward for the first time in months remembered back to what Al had told him on that train. He smiled sadly at the thought, that Julie could possibly give her baby up to his and Alphonse's care. And though Ed hadn't dreamt of the thought, for him and Al to raise a child, any child, together, for the first time he let his mind entertain the idea and it made him smile all the more. He would like to have a little girl, Ed thought to himself, one like Nina, all cheerfulness and acceptance and love.

But would Julie give the child up to Al? he wondered. She might just keep the child to be spiteful, because he knew how much she hated him. But then again, she might just give them the child so that she could be a part of their lives forever, because who could deny her rights as a mother?

Then again, what if she kept the child just to lure Alphonse back into her life, to steal Al away from him again? Edward shuddered at the mere thought.

* * *

Meanwhile, Alphonse and the doctor arrived only minutes after Roy and Ed and, must to Mustang's relief, the doctor immediately took over helping Julie, only ordering Roy and Al to fetch hot water and towels. And with the frequent reheating of the water, the time slipped by quickly and, after what seemed only a few minutes of the doctor instructing Julie to breathe and to push, the baby arrived. After a thorough bath, the doctor wrapped the infant in a blanket and proclaimed the birth of a beautiful baby girl.

Alphonse approached the Julie's bedside, cautious but very curious to see the face of his baby girl. Julie glanced up at him and smiled, motioning him to sit on the bed beside her. "Look Alphonse, it is our daughter. She is-"

"Beautiful," Al whispered in wonder, reaching out and stroking the sparse hair on her delicately soft and squishy head. They were bright gold curls, silken to the touch. Sleepy amber eyes examined him with a wary nonchalance, before closing in secure contentment.

"Well, I was going to say, 'all yours', but 'beautiful' works too, I suppose," Julie said with a smile, holding the infant out at arms' length to Al.

"You mean- Julie, does this mean you forfeit custody to me?"

She nodded, her sweaty red hair falling over her shoulders and veiling the edges of her face. "Yes Alphonse, she's yours. Yours and...Edward's too. So go ahead. Take her. Love her as you can never love me, and I'll make do." She placed the child in Al's arms. "Somehow."

Alphonse stood and grinned down at her. "Thank you, Julie."

* * *

Maes stirred as he stood to pace, but the baby only turned his chin closer to his tiny chest, his forehead bumping against Edward. The screams outside the room had lessened and Ed wondered if the baby was born yet.

Pausing at the window at the opposite side of the door, Ed glanced outside to the rain, and the sun beginning to creep through the clouds. Say, he thought, Julie did give them the baby, no strings attached? What then? Would he be able to stand living in the same town as Julie while raising her child without a mother?

Edward shook his head. If he had a family- a wife, children, probably a dog or two- the only place he could ever imagine living would be Resembool. Suddenly Ed could imagine him and Al raising a child out there, with the open rolling hills, the untainted blue sky, the fresh air...the privacy. Smiling at the corner of his mouth, the thought of Resembool became very, very tempting. He turned his eyes to the chain looped in his belt buckle and disappearing into his pocket.

Oh yes, there was that. Well, he could always-

But then, the door opened and Alphonse came in, carrying a blanketed bundle and wearing a ridiculously happy grin that fueled Ed with irrational jealousy. Only he was allowed to make his brother that happy, he thought.

"Edward! Brother, Julie says we can raise her! My daughter, she's ours!"

"What?" Alphonse came up to Ed, holding the baby up for Ed to see. Her face looked soft and the gold curls on the top of her head looked like a halo. "What's her name?" he asked.

"...Nina. Nina Alexandra Elric." Ed's eyes lit up and Al grinned even more brilliantly.

The door creaked open again and Roy walked in then. "Thanks for watching Maes for me, Edward," he said, lifting the infant up and placing him in the crib, where he slept on. He then turned to the baby in Al's arms. "Alphonse, is that-"

"My daughter," he said, nodding. "Her name is Nina."

Roy frowned at the young man. "Alphonse, you still haven't-"

"The answer is no, Roy. I'm not marrying Julie, and I never will."

"But don't you think-" he protested, but was once again cut off by Alphonse.

"I don't love her, end of story." His eyes were grey as stone.

"Fair enough. But the baby, how will that work?"

Alphonse burst into a surprising grin. "Oh, well you guys in the military pay Edward so well, Julie and I decided it was best if I kept her."

"Oh." And then Roy began to laugh, the sudden image of Edward acting the role of mother creating an interesting combination of incompetence, alchemy, and a frilly pink apron in his head. Ed, who never found out the source for Mustang's sudden laughter, still glared at him with suspicion, knowing by instinct that somehow, the joke was on him. Turning to Al, he said, "Let's go home. We have a lot of shopping to do." Looking around Maes's room, Ed's eyes widened at the sheer amount of diapers they would need to buy...He winced. "Let's go."

Roy saw them to the door but, just as Edward was about to leave, he slipped back inside, Mustang outside with Al to hail a taxi. Pulling his watch out of his pocket, he held it firmly in his hand for a moment then, with a small amount of hesitation in his movements, he placed it on the table by the door, then left just as a car pulled up to the curb. He climbed into the back seat with Al and smiled.

"Ready?" he asked his brother, his eyes on the child he held, on Nina in his arms.

"Yes, brother, I am."

* * *

That day, and most of the following week saw the Elric brothers learning all they could on taking care of a child. In Edward's now empty bedroom, they placed the crib, though Alphonse was so worried about Nina during the night, and she cried so often that in the end neither of them got much sleep at all. As for feeding her, every day Al and Nina would go visit Julie, and they would only come back very late in the evening, not pleasing Edward one little bit. Meanwhile, Ed had managed to get all the books he could on the matter from Sheska, who was more than willing to help them with the baby. In one of the books, Ed was pleased to find a formula that would substitute for mother's natural milk (though why they should force something so vile down the poor baby's throat, Ed wasn't sure), which he eagerly tested on Nina that evening, much to Al's skepticism. But Nina seemed to like the milk and, surprisingly, she slept through the night, giving Ed and Al much needed rest.

It was the eighth night with Nina when Edward finally brought up something he had been thinking on for the past week. As they settled in for the night, Ed curled around Alphonse, his chin resting on his brother's shoulder, he spoke. "Alphonse, I've been thinking...What if we were to leave Central? Would you be up to that?"

Al turned over to look Ed in the face. "Edward, does this have anything to do with Julie?"

Though it was dark in the room, the faint amount of moonlight shining in through the shades turned Al's eyes to mercury. Ed looked down at the sheets under them. "Yes, I guess it does. I mean, I hate having her so close, and with you and Nina over there every day...sure, it makes me uncomfortable. I thought she said you were keeping the baby, but it seems more to me that she's keeping the both of you from me."

"Edward," Al chuckled, kissing him softly. "There's nothing to worry about, trust me."

"It's not that I don't trust you, Al, it's just...I don't trust her. She hates me, you know that." Ed laced their fingers together under the covers. "You know she'd do almost anything to take you away from me."

Al sighed and snuggled up against Ed's bare chest. "All right, where do you want to go?"

Ed bent his head down and placed his nose against Al's neck. "...I was thinking Resembool..."

"Oh!" Al sat up. "Oh, Ed, really? We could really go back home?"

Ed grinned. "If that would make you happy, Al, then of course."

"Yes!" Alphonse pounced on Ed, hugging him fiercely. "Yes, brother, let's go back!" Al pulled back to reveal a radiant smile all the more beautiful in the moon's silver glow. "We can buy a house near Winry and Granny, and it'll be big and there'll be plenty of open area for Nina to play, and we could adopt cats, tons of them, and...and...and no one out there will know us who'd care about _us_, Brother, and...and...but..." Al's face grew grave. "But what about the military? Would you still have to leave whenever they call you? Would you have to remain in Central for long periods of time, to be ready to leave at a moment's notice? Would you-"

But Edward kissed him into silence, then pulled back and stroked Al's hair out of his face. "Don't worry, Brother. I'll take care of everything."

Alphonse nodded. "Okay, brother. I believe you."

Ed rested his head on Al's chest and closed his eyes. "That's right, now get some sleep. I think later in the week I'll send you and Nina out to pick out a house. I'll take care of things here and join you." Ed looked up at Al. "You can stay with Granny until then. Does that sound good, Al?"

"Sure." Al wrapped an arm around Ed's chest, just below his collarbone. " We can work it all out in the morning. G'night, brother. Love you."

"Love you too." In minutes they were asleep, nestled against each other.

Roy backed away from the crack in the door, his eyes wide, his face pale. The hand clutching the pocket watch to his chest felt sweaty against the silver. He crept back down the hallway, stopping in the kitchen to collect his thoughts.

There was no arguing what Mustang had witnessed: a moment between the two young men that was anything but brotherly. The way they held each other, and the way they kissed, reminded Roy of him and Riza. Clearly, they were in love with each other and, as most things go, that was not normal. Roy didn't want to say natural, because the way they loved seemed the most natural scene he had yet witnessed lately between them. His mind rebelled at the thought, though.

Would he tell? Roy shook his head. What an idiotic thought. This was Ed and Al he was thinking about, the two boys whom Roy had come to look upon as almost-sons, though he would never dare suggest that to Edward. What should they care for conventions? They went against it before, when they tried to bring their mother back to life, and then again when they pursued the mythical Philosopher's Stone. Why should this new revelation surprise him? Roy wondered. And if he thought about it long enough, he could come up with enough instances that hinted at the relationship.

Roy opened his hand, the one holding Ed's watch. He must have left it at his home on purpose, Roy supposed, but he had come all the way here to give the watch back to Ed, not willing to give up on his young alchemist yet. And incest or no, Mustang wasn't going to let Ed leave that easily. He placed the watch in the middle of the kitchen table and left, a smirk on his face.

And as for Ed and Al? None of his business.

* * *

Mustang had expected to see Edward sooner, so he was caught a little off-guard when Ed came into his office a few days later, quiet and for once, not scowling at him. "Excuse me, Colonel?" Roy looked up to find Edward standing over him, his head turned down sheepishly. He held his hand out, the watch gleaming in his metal palm. "I left this with you for a reason."

"Edward, if you mean you wish to resign, I can honestly tell you that I wish you wouldn't." Roy put his pen down and motioned for Ed to sit, refusing to take the watch. "You are a very gifted alchemist and the military could use your talents. Please reconsider."

Ed remained standing. "I'm sorry, Mustang, but I made a promise to Al. You know I only joined the military to get Alphonse his body back. I remained here four years longer than necessary, only because I was still unsure of my future, what I wanted to do with it. But I've realized that I don't need the military's money to support me anymore. And I told Al that once we were financially secure, I would leave." Edward put the watch on the desk in front of Roy. "I promised him I would. Besides, we're moving to Resembool soon. It's where we belong."

Roy glanced at the watch in front of him, then at Edward. He smiled. "I know how stubborn you are. I guess it's no use trying to argue with you, threatening you to stay in the military. You'd only resent me, and though you do some of your best work when you're trying to prove me wrong, still, I won't do that to you." Edward nodded and turned to leave, when Roy spoke again. "Though," he whispered, "I know about you and Alphonse."

Edward stiffened, and turned slowly back to him. "What about us?" he asked softly.

"You know what I mean, FullMe- well, I guess I can't call you that anymore, can I? But you know what I mean, Ed."

His eyes narrowed. "And…what are you going to do about it, Colonel? What do you want from me?"

Roy leaned back and smirked. "Don't be a stranger, okay? You and your brother can come visit anytime. You'll always be welcome back here."

Ed nodded. "Okay."

The door closed quietly behind him a moment later, and Roy sighed.

And that was when the FullMetal Alchemist ceased to be.

* * *

It was Nina's birthday in a week. Her third birthday, Edward thought as he slipped into bed, Al already there, seemingly asleep. Ed pulled the blankets over his shoulders, then spooned Al's warm body, his head resting on his brother's shoulder. He could see a vastness of stars in the patch of sky framed by the window. Amazing that three years had passed so quickly. Three years ago, Ed had only just gotten Al's complete love; now, they were still as much in love as then. Of course, they had their arguments, for they were brothers and all siblings have their squabbles every so often.

Ed buried his nose in Alphonse's neck, breathing in deeply. Their latest quarrel, and one that had come up often in the past years, was whether to tell Winry and the others about their relationship. Edward was always adamantly against the idea, though he knew how Al felt about lying to the ones he cared about. Only a few weeks ago they were discussing what to tell Nina about their relationship; she was bound to figure it out eventually, Al argued, so better for her to hear it from them first, from her fathers. Al wanted to tell her now, but Ed felt she was too young to understand.

"Brother, she already knows we share a bed at night," Al pointed out dryly. "We might as well explain that to her before someone else does. Don't you think?"

But the truth was, Ed was afraid. Sure, Mustang had accepted them, but who knew what was running through Roy's head. Any normal person would have rejected them. Even Winry would, if she learned. Certainly anyone in the military: Breda, Falman, Havoc, Fury, Ross, Bloch. And if Izumi were around, what would she say if she knew what her students had done? The only one Ed could see "accepting" them was Armstrong, and Ed imagined the major growing very sparkly-eyed and praising their brotherly love and devotion, and not getting the point at all.

And what about their daughter, their Nina? What would she do if she knew her two daddies were brothers too? Though she had little concept of what it meant to have siblings, she was quickly learning. Just the other day she had proudly announced that she and Trisha were sisters. Of course, they had smiled indulgently at their beyond darling daughter, then glanced at each other with worry in their eyes. Soon, would someone mention to her that her daddies were brothers, and would she, being the precocious angel she was, let something slip she didn't know was secret? So maybe Al had a point; they had to tell her, and soon.

On Saturday, they were holding a party for Nina.

The previous years she was too young to understand the idea of presents and the passing of another year; she was the center of attention, sure, but so she was every day. Usually her birthday was a small affair with Granny Pinako, Winry, Kenneth, and Trisha, their daughter. Mainly it was seen as an excuse for Alphonse to spoil her even more than he already did.

But this year they were holding a grand party in comparison to the small gatherings from previous years. Roy and Riza had been looking for an excuse to go out and visit them in Resembool, and Nina's birthday seemed the perfect reason. The others heard about the plan and so Ed and Al were forced into having the party for Nina who, hearing of all the visitors put two and two together and came up with the party idea, much to the dismay and pride of her fathers. So they had to prepare for Roy, Riza, Maes, Armstrong, Havoc, Fury, Sheska, Gracia, Elycia, Greda, Falman, Ross, and Bloch, as well as Pinako, Winry, Kenneth, and Trisha as usual. It was going to be a large affair.

Which was why, with some regret and hesitation, that Ed had to admit Alphonse was right. They had to tell Nina before one of their guests mentioned it unwittingly. The real question was should Ed and Al tell the others the truth as well.

Ed's arms slipped down Al's body to wrap around his waist, his hands- one metal and one flesh- linked loosely against his brother's belly. He hadn't told Alphonse about his conversation with Roy the day he left, hadn't told him that Mustang knew, somehow. He had never thought it necessary. Nor did Edward tell Al how Riza suspected their mutual love for each other. He wondered, as he waited for sleep to creep in, if that had been wise. Though Al would just use their acceptance as proof for why they ought to come clean with the rest. But would all of them be as crazy as Mustang or as broad-minded as Riza?

Suddenly, Alphonse stirred against him and Ed scooted over a little to give his brother room. "Edward?" Al called softly, blinking over his shoulder to his lover.

"Yeah Al?"

Al smiled. "Oh, you're here. Nina asleep now?"

"Yes, finally. She made me go searching for Snowpuff for nearly an hour though. I had to move a bookshelf to get it, too."

Al chuckled. "It's Snowball, Brother. Why did Nina want her?"

Edward shrugged, his shoulders brushing Al's back as he did so. "I don't know. She wouldn't go to sleep without saying goodnight to her though, so I had to find the dumb cat. By the way, Al, how many white cats do we have?"

"Huh? Well, there's Snowball, Cupcake, Frosty, Precious, Vanilla, and...Angel. Why?"

Ed mock-frowned, then snickered in Al's ear. "I think I found all of them twice before find Snowpuff-"

"Ball."

"Whatever."

Al turned in Edward's embrace so they were facing each other, nose nearly touching nose. Ed grinned and kissed Al quickly. Alphonse slid his hands up Ed's back, pulling him closer and engaging Ed in a long, drawn-out, thoughtful kiss.

"Brother," Al said once he released Ed from the kiss. "We should tell her tomorrow."

Ed turned away. "Yeah, I guess..."

"I mean it, Ed. And...I want to tell Winry about..._us_."

"...Why?"

"Because she's our sister and if anyone should know, it's her." Al nudged Ed's face to turn back to him. "And...we've kept this secret from her for far too long, brother. She'd want to know and I'm sure she won't...despise us. Please."

With those eyes staring at him, how could Ed refuse? "...Fine."

* * *

The next day came too fast, in Edward's opinion, and before he knew it Alphonse had already begun to speak with Nina.

"Nina, sweetie," Al said as they sat down to breakfast, "what...what do you know about mommies and daddies?"

Nina frowned up at her father in the way that little children do, wide eyes even wider and chubby cheeks separated by the distinctly downwards line of their mouth. "Well, I know Trisha has a mommy and a daddy and that her mommy and daddy are married. I have two daddies and no mommy and...Daddy, what is married?"

Al looked to Edward, who shook his head. "Um, " Al said. "Married is, uh...it's when a girl and a boy love each other and they want to have a family..."

"So married is making a family?"

Al smiled indulgently. "Sort of, honey. What I mean is, when a girl and a boy want to become a mommy and daddy, they have to get married to do that."

"Oh! So the stork only comes when a mommy and daddy are married? Is that how the stork knows where to go?" Nina turned her face eagerly between Ed and Al. "So...are you and Dad married too, Daddy?"

"No Nina, we're not. Dad and I are..." Al took Ed's hand in his to stop his own from shaking. "...we're brothers."

Nina blinked. "So...being brothers makes two daddies, like being married but you don't need a mommy?" she asked.

"Um, well, no. Brothers are...they're people who have the same mommy and daddy. They are already a family, so they don't have to get married...?" Al turned to Edward, his face flushed and his speech flustered. Maybe Ed was right and this was too early for Nina to understand. "Um..."

Nina nodded vaguely. "Oh, okay." She slipped down from her seat and walked over to Ed's seat. "Dad, I'm done."

Ed nodded and patted her golden head. "It's okay Nina. Why don't you go find Snowflake or something?"

Nina stared at Edward for a moment, her expression blank, then she brightened, nodded, and ran off into another room. Ed looked over at Al and smirked. "Well, brother, you tried. We'll try again when she's older, okay?"

Al nodded. "Yeah." He sighed, though Ed seemed content that Nina was still too young to understand the complications of her fathers' relationship.

It was Winry he was worried about.

"How do we tell her?" Ed asked nervously a few hours later. "Do we just say, 'Winry! Guess what? The two of us are involved in an incestuous relationship, and have been for three years. Suprise!'? Or what? How are we supposed to tell her?"

Al shrugged. "I don't know. We could always just kiss, and let her figure it out."

"Oh right. Just kiss. Brilliant."

They didn't discuss the matter further as neither really knew how do go about it, therefore no need to worry about that bridge yet.

That afternoon, as Ed sat down to his research, he glanced out the second story window. Though her mother was not yet in sight, Ed immediately recognized the dark-haired demon charging up the path toward the house. It was Trisha Anne Morgan, only two years and some months old, who came running down the hill, her little feet kicking up dirt as she went. Descending to the kitchen where Alphonse was cleaning the stove, Ed held Al's waist in his arm for a moment, pressing a kiss on the back of his neck, then went off to find Nina. He found her in the living room, where she lay on the couch with a cat on her stomach, flipping through a brightly colored book. Ed leaned over her, placing his mouth by her ear, and whispered, "Nina dearest, your sister's here."

The little girl sat up, dropping the book and the cat (Dustball? Ed wondered briefly before it scurried under a table) onto the floor.

"Trisha?" she asked but did not wait for the answer, running out the front door and down the path to greet the younger girl as she approached. Ed stood in the doorway and watched as the fair-haired child crashed with the darker girl, knocking each other to the ground. He made a move towards them, to help them up, but then Nina leapt up and pulled Trisha to her feet, then dragged her little "sister" to the back of the house, where Ed had transmuted a sandbox for her a while back. Ed watched their tiny hands grasp onto the other's and he remembered a time when he and Al and Winry were little, and how they would all clasp hands and drag each other around Resembool.

He looked back towards the road just in time to see Winry coming towards the house, her son in her arms. She smiled and waved at Edward with one hand, balancing the baby on her hip with the other. Kenneth Rockbell Morgan, affectionately nicknamed "Rocky", was born fifteen months ago and was declared by his father when he was born to be "the spitting image of his old man," even though Rocky showed no signs yet of growing out of his shockingly blond locks. He even had eyes like his mother. And though the child was the namesake of Winry's darling "Kenny," Rocky had a special place in his uncles' hearts; the son neither of them would ever have. Though Trisha, whose eyes held such a surprising amount of warmth and selflessness for a girl her age, was very special to them as well, and not only because she reminded them both of the mother they lost so many years ago.

Ed shook his head and glanced back up again; Winry was nearly at the house now, just within hearing range. She was singing something to Rocky, a lively little tune that made the child giggle. When she heard Edward laugh gently at her, Winry glanced up and grinned. "Afternoon Ed. How are things? I suppose you and Al are pretty busy with getting ready for Nina's party, huh?"

Edward nodded, but before he could confirm it with a verbal response, Rocky interrupted with a gurgle of glee, reaching his arms out to Ed. They laughed and Ed cautiously took Rocky into his arms, careful not to hurt the infant with his metal arm.

"Let's go inside," he said solemnly, feeling a little safer and braver with Rocky in his arms. "There's something Al and I...we have to tell you."

"What is it Edward?" the young woman asked as she followed Ed into the kitchen. She was wearing a modest sun dress that shone like a bright, ripe orange, a white apron tied around her waist. She looked more mother than mechanic now, though despite her change in wardrobe, Winry was twice the automail mechanic she was before, and even more dedicated than ever. Now not only a passion, the Rockbell Automail Shop was run mostly by Winry herself, as Pinako was growing older and felt less inclined to do such detailed labor, though she helped when it was absolutely necessary. Kenneth was a willing and able assistant with his wife's work, but it was truly Winry who was the bread winner in the Morgan-Rockbell household (though Ed could attest that Kenneth was the better bread maker.)

"Edward, tell me," Winry said now, grabbing his elbow. Ed paused in the hallway and turned reluctantly to his strong-willed friend whom he both trusted and feared, though the fear was more that Winry would forsake him, and so, perhaps he didn't trust her so much after all. Ed blamed it all on the butterflies in his stomach, an oh-so-familiar feeling when it came to Alphonse.

"It...it's nothing. Never mind." Ed tried to pull away, but Winry was less than convinced.

"Ed, tell me, what is it? What's bothering you?"

Ed glanced down at Rocky, who returned the gaze with bright blue eyes, as piercing as his mother's. A shriek from outside drew Ed's attention to the window just as Nina ran past, chasing after Trisha. Both girls were grinning, so Ed turned his gaze away from the window and settled it back on Winry.

"Nothing, Winry. It's nothing."

Winry walked over to the window and watched the little girls outside playing. Her face was calm, serene, pensive. "Ed, why don't you get married?" she asked suddenly, her voice a murmur. "Remember, you once mentioned to me that you loved someone. Why haven't you married her?" She glanced at Ed, a slight smile playing in the corners of her mouth. "I see the way you look at Nina, at Trisha and Rocky. I know you long for children of your own. Why don't you start a family with the woman you love?"

"..." Edward frowned. "It's not a woman, Winry. We can't have children together, he and I."

Winry turned back to the window, her clear cerulean eyes which often matched Hawkeye's in perceptiveness, mirrored in the glass now, were wide with surprise. Both had their backs turned to the kitchen door- Ed staring at Winry, waiting; Winry staring at nothing and thinking everything- so neither saw Alphonse walk in, leaning against the doorframe and watching them intently.

"Oh..." Winry whispered, for a moment rendered speechless. "...Edward, who is he, then? Please, tell me."

"I...can't. Does it really matter, anyway? Society says we shouldn't be together, so what's the point in telling you who he is? What would it change?"

"But...It might not change anything Ed, but I'm your sister, and I worry about you, and...and I might be able to help, you, I guess. I don't know..." Winry's eyes narrowed in the window. "What's the harm, anyway, if I know who he is or not? You're right Edward, it's not going to change anything, so you might as well tell me. What more do you have to hide from me?"

Ed froze as the words caught in her throat. Everything, he thought in reply, but couldn't bring himself to hurt her. Edward found himself staring at Winry's curves, not half so slim and girlish as they once were, but firm and round and womanly. Of course, Ed knew she was grown-up; he didn't need to look at her children to see that, but for once Ed realized that she had matured mentally too. Winry might not have a secret as horrible as his, but if she had, Ed realized that Winry would tell them, would be wise enough to go to them for support, comfort, wisdom, solace. Perhaps it was better to share his burden with those he trusted the most, and though it was Al's burden too, it had always felt like the world sat on Ed's shoulders. Perhaps Winry would understand; perhaps Winry's shoulders were strong enough to share the load with them. Perhaps...

"It's Al. I...I'm in love with him, with my brother. Winry..."

She spun around, shock evident in her eyes and the shock doubled when she turned to see Edward, and Alphonse behind him. She stumbled against the windowsill, her mouth agape at Ed. Had Alphonse heard that, she wondered, and what was he thinking? Did Al still love Edward too? Did Al _know_? she asked herself. Her eyes stared up at Al to see what there was to see in his eyes. What she found, what she had not expected, was the reassuring smile Al flashed her then.

"What Edward meant to say, Winry, is that the two of us love each other; that we're lovers." Ed jumped at his brother's voice, then again when an arm wrapped around his waist. But, though his gaze longed to escape to the grey sanctuary of Alphonse's eyes, it stayed fixed on Winry's paling face.

"How long?" she asked at last.

"...three years..." Ed mumbled, then ducked his head as though expecting a wrench to fly out of nowhere to hit him.

What he got was rain. (1)

Winry collapsed to her knees, crying softly into her hands. Ed and Al came rushing to her side, each at a shoulder, bending close to hear her muffled words.

"I...I've been so worried about the...the pair of you..._Idiots_...Al in love with Ed and...and...and here I thought he had to hold his love _back_...thought Ed was in love with someone else, dammit...If I had _known_ you were happily together, I wouldn't have _worried_ so damn much!"

Al wrapped his arms around Winry and held her tear-stained face to his chest. "Thank you for worrying about us," he whispered. "Thank you, big sister."

She pushed Alphonse back playfully, a smile already on her lips. "You're both a pair of idiots, you know that? You deserve each other." She stubbornly brushed her remaining tears away. "I hope you're happy together."

"We are," Al grinned.

Winry smiled back at them, then her eyes fell to Ed, a frown creasing her brow. "But, Edward, were you in love with Al all this time? Even...even when you asked me to marry you?"

Ed bowed his head and caught Rocky looking up at him, puzzled. "Yes, I loved Al even then."

"Wait a second," Al said, waving his hand to catch their attention. "Ed, you told me the reason you didn't marry Winry was because she didn't love you!"

Ed blinked. "Yeah? She doesn't."

"But...but...but you never said you weren't in love with her either!" Al sputtered.

"Well, you never asked, Al."

Al scowled, Winry and Ed laughed, and all was well again between them.

* * *

The Mustangs arrived a day later, and after that, a few more arrived each day. Armstrong, Breda, and Falman came the following day, then Havoc and Fury, then Gracia, Elycia, Sheska, Ross, and Bloch the day after that. The inn at Resembool had good business then.

Ed and Al, both required to stay home on account of their research, hadn't been to Central for several months, so each day as more and more of their old friends arrived, it was amazing to see just how much they had changed. Though Alphonse made a point of writing to Roy and Riza as often as he could, it was still a shock to see their seventh month old daughter, Elizabeth Winifred, and to see how much Maes had grown. Not to mention Roy's promotion to General and Riza, though on leave on account of the two children, was made Colonel. It seemed the military could never be without at least one Colonel Mustang, Ed observed drily. The first day the Mustangs arrived, Roy, Riza, Ed, and Al stayed up long hours catching up with each other, while Nina and Maes were sent outside to play where Ed could keep an eye on them. Riza held onto her daughter, who slept most of the time anyway.

Throughout the conversation, however, was the annoying little voice in the back of Ed's head that told him to come clean with the others. To tell Al that Roy knew about them, and to put Riza's obvious suspicions to rest. Anyway, the fact that the two brothers had been living alone, except for Nina, these past three years ought to have been enough of an indicator for her. But Ed feared how to broach the subject, until Roy did it for him.

"So, Edward," he said when Al went into the kitchen, where they were boiling water for tea and coffee, "how are you both?"

"You mean..." Ed trailed, frowning, his eyes darting not-too-subtly over to Riza.

She smiled at his suspicious glance. "Don't worry, Ed, I've known for a while now."

"Known what?" Al asked, coming into the room with a tray, which he placed onto the table before sitting back down next to Edward.

"About the both of you," she replied.

Al's face took on a wide expression of shock and surprise, but when he turned to Edward for his reaction, he was surprised to see none at all. He glanced back to Roy and Riza and found them both smiling at him. "How...how long have you known? About us, I mean?"

"Three years," Roy replied, then frowned. "You mean...Ed never told you?"

"Told me what?" But this was tersely addressed to his brother.

"Erm...Mustang...saw us together, before we moved here. He told me when I went to resign from the military."

"And you never told me this because?"

"I...didn't think it was that important." But Ed ducked his head down in shame.

Al snorted in disbelief. "I know what it is, brother," he said, smirking. "You just didn't want to tell anyone else, and you knew that I would use Roy's acceptance of us as an argument for why we _should_."

Roy choked on his coffee and stared incredulously at Ed. "You mean to say that you haven't told _anyone_?"

"We...we told Winry yesterday," Ed whispered.

Roy rolled his eyes and Riza scowled with annoyance at him. "We were all accepting of Havoc and Fury when they came out to us two years ago. Why shouldn't we accept the pair of you too?" she reasoned.

"Hello!" Edward cried, jumping out of his seat. "We're brothers! We shouldn't _be_ in love with each other! You shouldn't be accepting us so easily! It's not right!"

Roy and Riza gaped up at Edward, speechless, but it was Al who spoke.

"Is that how it is, brother? Are you ashamed of us, even now? Is that it, Edward?" Al was standing as well, now, his body turned to face Ed, who looked away from his brother's accusing voice. "Dammit, Ed, answer me! Why don't you want anyone to know about us? Is it me? Is it because we're not _right_?"

"No, I..." But Ed shook his head and began to walk away.

"Don't you dare turn away from me, Edward! You know, I'm not afraid to tell the others; I'm not afraid of our love. I'm not afraid of what they'll think, because your love is enough. What about you, Ed? Are you afraid?"

Edward whipped around. "Are you calling me a coward?" he said.

"Well, are you Edward? Are you afraid? Or am I just not enough? That's it, isn't it? You're willing to be with me, just as long nobody knows about it. What, are you afraid people will think you're a pervert? Do you think they'll call you sick for fucking your little brother?"

"Of course that's what they'll say, Alphonse! You can't live in a bubble where everyone is accepting. The truth is, we shouldn't be together and if people found out about us, they'd try to break us apart. You think I want to lose you because of what they say is _right_ and _proper_?"

"Do you think that little of me, brother? I'm not going to leave you, no matter what they say! And besides, they're our friends. If we matter at all to them, they're not going to _care_!"

"But that's the thing! They _should_ care. It wouldn't be right if they just shrug their shoulders and say nothing. They at least know incest isn't right, even if it is us."

"Oh, you are so dense sometimes! They won't care about the incest part half so much as they'll simply be _happy_ for us. That's what friends do; and if they don't, they weren't ever our friends."

Edward shook his head, then placed his hands on his brother's shoulders and shook him too. "Don't you get it, Al? I'm not going to take the risk of letting our secret get out. Don't you remember Julie? She was planning to expose me, just for a little money, only she didn't because she 'loved' you. What if we tell them ,these so-called friends, and one of them proves less than what we expected? You think they'll hold back, just because we ask them to? No, Al; they'll expose us to the whole world. Everyone will know about us then; is that what you want?"

"I'd rather that then to keep lying to our friends. I'd rather risk that then have to keep our love a secret forever. Because then at least, I could kiss you in public; then at least I could show the world that you're mine, and mine alone." Al smiled. "I want to shout my love out to the whole world anyway; why should it matter then if someone else does it instead?"

"As tempting as that all may sound, I...I just can't. I don't want to have to face the world's disgust, and I don't want you to have to suffer that either. I'm sorry, Alphonse, but I just can't tell them."

Al stepped away from Edward, shaking all over with a cold rage. "Then I guess I'm really _not_ enough for you. _I_ don't _care_ what the rest of the world thinks, so long as you still love me, but I see...I see now that my love is just _not_ enough, is it?" Before Ed could reply, Al ran out of the house, and down the path towards the Rockbells.

"Edward?" But the young man did not hear them, his eyes still fixed on the open door, his hand on wiping away the hint of a teardrop that had hit his cheek as Alphonse turned away from him.

* * *

The next few days were quiet ones in the Elric household, mainly because Alphonse had yet to return, despite all the many times Ed trekked out to the Rockbell house, where Al was staying, to beg him to come back. And though on the third day Al finally took pity on his brother enough to actually talk with him, he still refused to return until Edward apologized, and agreed that they ought to tell the others about their relationship. So it was only Edward there to greet Armstrong, Breda, and Falman the next day, and Havoc and Fury the day after that, and finally Gracia, Elycia, Sheska, Ross, and Bloch on the last day. And while he tried to be at least slightly welcoming, there was no mistaking the enormously obvious black rain cloud over his head. While Armstrong tried to cheer him up with the usual display of his "magnificent, glorious, and pure" physique, Havoc and Fury tried to get Ed to talk about his problems (making Ed quite suspicious that Riza had been _training_ them all to be his psychiatrists), it wasn't until the women (and Bloch) arrived that the sky began to clear at last. Half of it was watching Elycia (now 13 years old) playing with Nina, helping the little girl in her sandbox; the girls' blonde and golden heads made them seem like sisters.

The other was a slap in the face.

While Gracia, Bloch, and Ross sat outside, watching the girls at play, Sheska pulled Edward into the house, her eyes alight.

"Ed! I've been meaning to tell you something for a long time," she said as soon as they were alone in the kitchen.

"Oh? What's that Sheska?" But Ed was only half paying attention.

"Well, you remember that time you called my house and Ma-Lieutenant Ross answered the phone?"

Of course Edward remembered that; only minutes later Alphonse had asked if Ed was in love with him. Ed nodded. "Yeah, she said you were visiting your parents at the time."

"I...she lied. I was right there, but Maria had gotten to the phone first and...basically, the point is, Maria and I are lovers, and we've been together for almost four years now."

Edward blinked, suddenly engaged in the conversation taking place. "That long?" he asked. "How come-?"

Sheska blushed. "I hadn't wanted to tell any of you for a long time, and I almost lost Maria because of that. She was afraid that I didn't love her, but the truth is I...I _liked_ the secrecy. It made everything more...romantic and...dangerous."

He couldn't help but laugh at her words, even as his heart tugged in thought.

"Don't laugh! I know, I know, Maria tells me that I've read just about _too_ many books." But there was a smile on Sheska's face as well. "Anyway, she won that argument, especially after she rescued me from an, ehem, avalanche. I had to begin to agree with her at that point, on the book front."

Ed frowned in thought. What if he lost Al because of this? And yet Edward's pride would not let him simply concede the battle to his brother. However, perhaps he could try to assure Alphonse that it wasn't that he didn't love him enough... "Excuse me, Sheska, but I, um...I've got to go."

"Ed?" she called, but he was already out the door.

Running the whole way there, Ed got to the Rockbell's house ten minutes later, loudly banging on the door without a thought. Smoothly, Pinako opened the door and shot the young man a quizzical look. "Can I help you, Edward?" she asked around her pipe.

"Uh..." Ed dropped his hands by his sides and glanced down sheepishly. "Sorry to disturb you, Granny, but I'm here to see Al."

"He's out back," Pinako said. Ed dashed to the other side of the house and fell to his knees beside Al, who was busy chopping wood.

"Alphonse, please don't leave me!" he cried, his eyes closed and his hands pressed desperately into the grass.

"Edward!"

"I love you, brother; I can't live without you!"

Al put his ax down and bent down beside Ed. "It's so easy for you to say that to me; why's it so hard to tell everyone else? Brother?"

Ed, sensing Al beside him, opened his eyes and looked up. "I...it's not that I'm afraid to tell them, nor is it that _hard_, I just...I-I like the secrecy. It gives our relationship excitement, and, um, danger."

Al half-smiled, then giggled into his hand. "Oh, Ed, get up." Ed obeyed and followed his brother in standing. Once both of them were on their feet again, their eyes met, Al's twinkling merrily. "Edward, that was pathetic, but I don't feel inclined to stay mad at you anymore. If you don't want to tell them- for whatever reason- then I guess we won't, for now at least." Al then embraced Ed, hugging him tightly and pressing his lips on Ed's neck. "Now, shall we go home?"

Edward smiled into Al's hair. "Yeah."

* * *

The day of the part dawned early; the rest of the day Al and Ed had spent in getting the preparations together. Alphonse wanted to bake a cake for Nina which took him most of the day, while Ed was busy shopping in Resembool for her presents. But when they finally turned in for the night, they had anticipated sleeping well into the morning (which would explain why their nighttime activities were exceptionally vigorous that night). However, sleep was not meant to be; Edward was woken by a knocking on the front door just as the sun began to peek over the edge of the world. Groggily, he poked Al awake, then slipped his bathrobe on and hurried to answer the door.

He did not expect to see Julie standing on the doorstep and so he initially shut the door on her, muttering to himself about overactive imaginations and how, dammit, there was nobody there, save for a trick of the light. But then Julie knocked on the door again and, groaning, Ed opened the door again.

"Good morning Edward," a feminine voice, very familiar, greeted politely. Blinking, Ed cursed under his breath. Julie wasn't a trick of the light after all.

"Uh...hey," Ed replied unintelligibly. Luckily Alphonse descended then, and being more of a morning person than his grumpy brother, he immediately invited Julie to come in. Minutes later, the three of them were seated in the living room around a pot of tea.

"So, Julie, what brings you here so, erm, early in the morning? And in Resembool, no less?"

"It's...it is Nina's birthday, yes?" she asked politely, her green eyes staring at Al over her tea cup, through the steam.

"Indeed, her third. You came for her party this afternoon?"

"Oh! No, I just came to wish her a happy birthday and give her my present, that's all." Julie held out a small pink bag, her eyes wide and earnest. Edward just scowled, but Al took the bag graciously.

"Erm...so, how are things with you, Julie? What's new?" Al gazed into her face, her bright green eyes and amber-colored hair, her face rounder than he remembered, and the small hint of a mountain around her middle.

Seeing his eyes there, Julie smiled. "Well, I've been married for almost a year now, and yes, I'm pregnant."

"Oh, married!" Al exclaimed. "And you...you love him very much?"

"Yes. I love him very, very much. His name is Bentley Wilmont and he's a very important business man in Central." Julie beamed as she stroked the thin gold band around her finger. It was no surprise; she married money. But she appeared genuinely happy now, and for that Al was glad. Still, the fact that she had come all this way just to wish Nina a happy birthday boded ill in Ed's suspicious mind. There was no doubt that they would have to deal with Julie throughout their lives, but at least there was no threat of her coming between them again and for that, Ed supposed he could suffer her company.

Julie only stayed for another half hour, but by that time the sun had already begun to rise and Ed and Al had things to do in preparation for the day. First, Al set about cooking breakfast, while Ed woke Nina up, gave her a bath, and dressed her in a simple pink dress with lace around the edges. Smiling up at her Dad, Edward felt a surge of affection for the girl who resembled him so much, from her dark golden tresses, to her deep amber eyes, and the easy way a smirk would find itself across her face. "Happy birthday, Nina!" he said as they flew downstairs.

Breakfast was short and soon the afternoon had rolled around the guests began to trickle in. Winry, with Kenneth, Rocky, Trisha, and Granny Pinako arrived first, and Trisha and Nina ran outside to play. They were joined shortly afterward by Maes, his parents and baby sister remaining in the living room and catching up with the Morgan-Rockbells. Then a sea of blue washed in, along with Gracia and Elycia Hughes. And then the party kicked off.

First, came the cake, which puzzled Nina a little, because her past two birthdays she was too young to be told, "Make a wish, and blow out the candles." But, being a good-natured little girl, she only frowned at the candles on her cake before puckering her lips and blowing out the tiny flames. Everyone clapped and Nina watched them, clapping her hands too.

Then, the presents, which consisted mostly of new clothes, new toys, and new picture books. Nina did not yet understand the concept of "gifts", though she had a quite enjoyable time ripping the paper. During the unwrapping of gifts, Edward could be heard muttering, "Spoiled, absolutely spoiled," though the proud, loving smile he couldn't help but show gave him away.

And then Nina, tired out by all the attention and excitement, fell asleep in Ed's lap. Ed hadn't the heart to move her, so he scowled everyone into silence. The party then moved outside, where everyone, save for Ed and Nina, socialized. Al set about making dinner, which, by the time it was finished, found Trisha, Maes, Rocky, and Elizabeth sleeping in the living room with Nina, though the biggest baby of them all was Edward, who slept right along with them. Roy, Riza, Havoc, Fury, and Armstrong peered in on the grown man and chuckled, exchanging whispers on how touch the FullMetal Alchemist looked now, surrounded by slumbering children, but all had good-natured smiles on their faces.

The night stretched long, with long conversations and many laughs among friends. And while Al wished Edward could be there, well, they all agreed he looked too sweet and happy for any of them to want to wake him, and Al only woke him many hours later, once everyone else was gone. During dinner, though, they wondered just what could have made Edward so sleepy, and Alphonse knew what the answer was, but he'd promised his brother they wouldn't tell anyone yet, so he didn't mention that it was all his fault. Which it was, in a way.

Finally, though, everyone had left and it was time to wake Ed and Nina. First, Al lifted his daughter up and carried her upstairs, and she only woke as he pulled the covers up to her chin. "Daddy?" she muttered, but then yawned, and her eyes fluttered shut again. Al returned downstairs and contemplated his brother for a moment, finally deciding to carry him upstairs as well (after all, Ed was smaller than him.) And halfway up the stairs, Ed remained asleep. Which means, halfway up the stairs, Ed woke up. He blinked, then realized that neither of his feet were on the ground, which meant he was either flying up the stairs, or... "Al! What the hell!"

Alphonse nearly dropped Ed at that, but luckily Ed wrapped his arms around Al's neck in a panic. He chuckled. "Oh, I was carrying you to bed, brother."

Ed's face was white, as the blood drained out of his face from the shock. "W-what about...what about everyone else?"

"Oh, they left a while ago."

Ed thought for a moment, then settled more comfortably in Al's arms. "Oh. Okay then."

"I don't think so, Ed! Since you're awake now, you can take yourself upstairs! You're heavy, brother!"

Ed's eyes narrowed. "Are you calling me fat?" he challenged, the same way he used to when people called him short.

"No! It's your arm, that's all."

Ed flexed his right arm, then grinned cockily. "Yeah, well, it's worth its weight."

"It certainly is." Al's tone was serious and Ed caught the sad look in his brother's eyes.

"Hey," he murmured, before kissing him tenderly. "I don't mind it, Alphonse. I'm used to it now."

Al bent his head. "I...know. It's just...I still can't believe you gave your arm up for my soul. It still...astounds me."

"But I love you, Alphonse. I always have, and I'd give my life up for you if I had to."

Al nodded, then buried his nose against Ed's neck. "Yeah, I know. I would do the same for you."

"Well, let's just hope we never have to."

"Yeah." Alphonse stared at Ed's face, a distant expression there. Then he smiled again and said, "I just realized. It really doesn't matter who knows about us, or even if anyone does. All that matters is that I'm yours and you're mine, and...and that's all. That's all that truly matters, right brother?"

Ed kissed the tip of Al's nose. "Right."

Chapter Ten- Darling

(1)- "What he got was rain." This is a reference to Maes Hughes's funeral, when Roy tells Riza that it looks like rain and she remarks that it looks like a clear sky to her. Then you see that Roy is crying and he says, "Yes it is. This is rain." I...couldn't resist the allusion.

Oh man. It is officially over now, isn't it? That's so...weird. I've been working on this story for six months now and I know that I could never have finished it without everyone's support, so thank you. All of you, for reading and loving this story. I cannot thank you all enough; I've never finished a story of this size before, and certainly in the time that I've finished this one, so thank you all so, so much.

Now before I completely let this one go, I must apologize for one thing. I think I messed up on the name "Hakuro." According to this site and the name is "Hakuro", but I saw in Newtype a while ago that the name is actually "Haruko", and then in a story I've read here, it's "Halcrow." Since I like the "Halcrow" version, I think I'll go through this one day and change it, but for now, it's staying "Hakuro". I can only say I'm eternally thankful that nobody noticed that. I just thought I ought to mention that, though.

And now, "Darling" is officially over! Strangely enough, something else just ended for me the other day. I graduated from high school! So many things are ending now...it's enough to make me cry. However, I am proud to say that, while this story is now over, I am already starting on a brand new Elricest story! Well, at least, I finished the prologue. The title (right now) is "Beyond That Dream" and will contain end of series spoilers. Anyway, I hope to see you all there when I post it up! Thank you again for staying with this story: 27 favorites and 25 story alerts! Amazing! Well, until the next story- Rowan


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